The following is a transcript for the episode "Tails of Woe".
[On the school bus, Lincoln, Stella, and Rusty are riding along, Rusty is snoozing. When the bus stops, Rusty gets thrown against the seat in front of him and wakes up, the rest of the gang boards.]
Stella: "Hey guys, ready for Friday Share?
Clyde: "Heck yes! I brought my dream journal to read excerpts from."
Liam: "And I brought my prize piglet."
[Liam shows them the piglet, they are awed by it. Zach comes up.]
Zach: "Yah, I blanked on the assignment 'til like two minutes ago, and grabbed a random take-out menu by the door, so..."
Rusty: [Takes out a picture of himself.] "I brought this sweet portrait I commissioned on the boardwalk, really captured my rugged essence."
Stella: "Well, can't lie, I'm pretty excited about my 'Friday Share'." [Takes an egg-shaped object out of her backpack, its wind up key starts turning and it plays sweet piano music, the boys are awed by it, the music box opens up revealing a dancing elephant, and the boys love it even more. Stella turns it off.] "My Granny and I found it at the flea market, it was broken and rusted shut, but, she's a total wizard and helped me fix it."
Rusty: [Nudges Zach] "Bet you're really regretting that take-out menu now, huh?
[At school, Zach is sharing his take-out menu.]
Zach: "Feeling bold? Try Giovanni Chang's penne a-la eggroll. Need delivery? it's F, R, E, E, free baby, thank you."
Mrs. Johnson: "Hmm, you get a C for preparedness, but an A for improve. So, a B."
Mrs. Johnson: "Alright, Miss Stella, what do you have to share with us today?"
[Stella grabs her backpack, and looks for her music box, but gasps when she sees that it's not there.]
Stella: "I, can't, find it."
Mrs. Johnson: "Did everyone forget this assignment?"
Stella: [Dumps her backpack on the floor.] "No, I had it on the bus, I swear."
Lincoln: "She did! She did!"
Liam: "She showed us."
Zach: "I saw it."
Clyde: [Starts pirouetting] "There was this elephant that dances like this."
Mrs. Johnson: "Okay, okay," [chuckles] "I believe you, we'll get to you next Friday."
Stella: "But, where did it go?"
[At Lunch, Stella can't focus on anything other than her music box.]
Rusty: "Stella," [waves his hand in her face.] "Hey Stella, trade you my delicious cold fish soup for that lame toasted meatball sub."
Stella: [Not even paying attention.] "Huh? Sure, whatever."
[Stella is about to trade, when Clyde blows a whistle, actually getting Stella's attention.]
Clyde: "As trade commissioner, I have to point out; this is a terrible deal."
Stella: "Thanks Clyde. Sorry, I just can't stop thinking about my music box. What could have happened to it?"
Zach: [Whispers] "Uh, I don't wanna be, that guy, but," [looks around] "maybe the Rat Beast took it."
[The other boys gasp.]
Rusty: "Don't even joke, man."
Stella: [Still being the new kid.] "What are you talking about?"
[Zach looks around and gestures for everyone to follow him, and the boys sink under the table. Stella watches her friends do this and follows them.]
Zach: "It's a Royal Woods Elementary legend; it all began one faithful day in the school science lab," [Flashback to that faithful day.] "an experiment went badly wrong."
[A beaker overheats and bursts all over some rats.]
Rusty: "And a cage full of lab rats mutated into one giant hideous creature."
[A shadow of the rats is shown merging into one huge beast.]
Liam: "With glowin' green eyes, razor-sharp fangs, and too many slimy pink tails to count."
[End of flashback]
All Six: "The Rat Beast."
Lincoln: "That's when things started going missing."
Clyde: "And people started hearing strange sounds in the halls."
Zach: "And haven't you noticed the weird smell in the vents, kinda like..."
Stella: [Gasps] "Corn chips?"
Zach: "Yeah-huh, that's the beast."
Stella: "Has anyone tried to track it down?"
Liam: "Nuh-uh, it swiped my harmonica, but, it's welcome to keep it. I'm not lookin' to tussle with a mutant."
Stella: [Determined] "Well, I'm not giving up my music box, I'm finding the Rat Beast!"
Lincoln: "We'll help." [The other boys act casual.] "Come on, Stella's our friend, we can't let her do this alone."
[The boys agree.]
Stella: [Touched] "Oh," [hugs Liam and Clyde] "thanks guys. Now let's start gathering some intel." [Cut to a sideways three-panel shot of her taking out a notepad, and clicking a pen.] "Tell me everything you know."
Girl Jordan: "The Rat Beast swiped my gold hoops when I took them off for dodgeball."
Mollie: "Yeah, I heard that thing in the band room. It stole my lucky Canadian penny."
Hassan: "One time when Principal Huggins was chewing me out, I saw two of its gnarly tails in the air vent."
Stella: [Writes it down in her pad.] "Thanks, Hassan." [The bell rings and Hassan wheels off; To the boys.] "Great, there's recess. Let's go check out our leads."
[Lincoln and Stella head off in one direction while Clyde and Liam head off the other. Rusty nervously chuckles.]
Zach: [Grabs Rusty's arm and drags him off.] "Come on, let's go."
[The gymnasium. A basketball hits the backboard and bounces off the rim of the net, the girl catches it and keeps playing as Lincoln and Stella walk in.]
Stella: "Girl Jordan had her earrings swiped in here. [She and Lincoln look under one of the benches.] Keep your eyes peeled of any sign of the beast. Claw marks, squeaking..."
[The two sniff around and gasp.]
Lincoln and Stella: "Corn chips!"
[They keep sniffing and it leads them to Coach Pacowski's office.]
Stella: The smell is coming from here."
[They open the door and find Coach Pacowski dancing to his mixtape. His pants rip and he gets startled when he notices the two. He pauses his mixtape as Lincoln and Stella sheepishly smile.]
Coach Pacowski: "This is my free period! I can do what I like."
Lincoln and Stella: "Sorry, Coach P."
[They both shut the door. Once Coach Pacowski sees they're gone, he plays his mixtape and resumes dancing. Lincoln and Stella have their backs leaning against the door.]
Lincoln: "Guess that smell wasn't the Rat Beast."
[They both cringe.]
[In the band room, Zach looks under a tuba, and Rusty approaches him with an acoustic guitar.]
Rusty: "Check out this sweet axe."
Zach: "You don't even know how to play it."
Rusty: "Says who?!" [Suddenly the supply closet door creaks, the boys get scared.] "The Rat Beast!" [They hide behind some timpani drums, Rusty pushes Zach with the guitar.] "You go!"
Zach: "No, you! You're taller!"
[The door slowly begins opening, the boys shake with fear when suddenly, Norm comes out.]
Norm: "Glad you boys are here, you can help me scrape the gum off the music stands."
[Rusty and Zach aren't very happy about this.]
[In the office, Clyde peeks out from behind the couch, and Liam peeks out from behind a plant, Cheryl is at her desk.]
Cheryl: "Hmm, paperwork done, Principal Huggins is at the barber. Maybe I can slip away for a latte, and some... [She takes out her hairpin and her hair falls to her shoulders.] Cheryl time."
[Cheryl walks out of the office as Clyde and Liam peek out from behind the door. They then approach near Cheryl's desk.]
Clyde: "Okay, Hassan said he saw the Rat Beast's tail in the air vent." [Points to said air vent.]
Liam: [Looks through] "Hmm, uh, nothing but dust bunnies in here."
Clyde: [Notices something under Cheryl's desk.] "Liam, look! Two of its tails."
[They stumble as the ladder gives away and they both fall to the ground. They look at the "tails" and back away. Just then, Cheryl catches them.]
Cheryl: [Gasps] "What are you boys doing? Oh, y'all found my lanyard!" [Picks up her lanyard from under her desk.] "Can't get my administrator discount at the Burnt Bean without it."
[Cheryl leaves. Clyde and Liam look at each other, annoyed.]
[In the hall, Liam and Clyde meet up with Lincoln and Stella.]
Stella: "Hey, any luck?"
Liam: "Nah, skunk'd."
Stella: "Us too."
[Rusty and Zach join them.]
Rusty: "Same here."
Stella: "Crud! Recess is almost over and our leads have turned up nothing." [Checks her watch] "I guess we'd better get to class, we'll get detention if we're caught in the halls after the bell rings." [Sad] "Thanks anyway, guys."
Rusty: [Glad it's over] "Well, we tried," [leans against the wall] "but I guess the search is officially over."
[Suddenly, the sound of the music box is heard in the wall, Rusty falls backward in surprise taking Zach to the ground with him.]
Stella: "My music box," [Presses her ear against the wall.] "it's inside the wall."
Clyde: "The Rat Beast must have it with him."
Liam: "And he's on the move! Come on!"
[Stella, Lincoln, Clyde, and Liam start running, Zach gets up and follows, and Rusty gets up, groaning, and joins in. The six follow the music when suddenly the bell rings.]
Stella: "Dang it."
Lincoln: "Keep going! It's headed for the basement!"
[The gang heads for the basement.]
Stella: [Sees something and gasps] "Duck!"
[The gang ducks behind a trashcan and a hairy shadow approaches.]
Zach: "It's the Rat Beast."
[The shadow comes closer, revealing who the owner is.]
Clyde: "No, that's just Principal Wiggins- I mean Huggins with a new hairpiece."
[Principal Huggins admires himself in his handheld mirror, he's the only thing between the kids and the basement.]
Stella: "We need to get to the basement."
Lincoln: "Zach, do you have that take-out menu with you?"
Zach: "Yeah, you hungry?"
Rusty: "I could eat."
Lincoln: [Takes the menu] "No, I have a plan." [Rusty is bummed that he's not getting food. Lincoln folds the menu into a plane.] "Here goes."
[Lincoln tosses the plane, and it takes Principal Huggins' wig down the hall, Principal Huggins chases after it, dropping his mirror.]
Stella: "Great throw, Lincoln! Let's go."
[She slides under the chain, Lincoln does the same, Liam crawls, Zach climbs over it, and Clyde crawls backwards under it.]
Rusty: [Looking at the mirror Principal Huggins dropped.] "Is that mirror up for grabs?"
[Not looking, Rusty walks right into the chain and falls down the stairs. Stella opens the basement door and sniffs.]
Stella: "Smell that?" [The boys come up behind her] "The Rat Beast is down there, and so is my music box, let's do this."
[Stella marches down the stairs with the boys behind her.]
Zach: "Honestly, corn chips are ruined for me after this."
[The gang walks through the basement, some more scared than others.]
Rusty: [One of the more scared ones] "Guys, I just remembered I have a, uh, piano lesson."
Zach: "No you don't, those are on Thursdays."
Rusty: [Aggravated] "Maybe it moved, you don't know."
[The gang continues, and Stella sees something.]
Stella: "Look!" [Points around the corner, there's a large shadow on the wall.]
Liam: "The creature!"
Stella: "Let's get it."
[The gang charges around the corner, Rusty is still afraid. They see the figure and start yelling, the figure gets up and is revealed to be Norm the janitor, who is very surprised to see them.]
All Six: [Stop charging] "Norm?"
Norm: "Gracious me, ya, what are you kids doing down here?"
[The boys stutter, looking for an excuse.]
Stella: "We're looking for the Rat Beast."
Norm: "The what?"
Zach: "Big mutant rat, vicious fangs."
Clyde: "Terrorizes the school, smells like corn chips."
Stella: "It's got my music box, we followed the sound of it down here."
Norm: "A mutant rat? In my school? [Determined] Not on Norm's watch. You kids go back upstairs where it's safe, and leave the beast to me."
Rusty: "Well, that's a very kind offer, we'll take you up on that." [Attempts to leave]
Stella: "Sorry Norm, but I can't leave without my music box."
Norm: "Alright, let's split up then;" [takes a flashlight out of his toolbox and gives it to Stella.] "you take the East wing, I'll take the West."
[Norm heads off in that direction, Stella turns on the flashlight and the gang goes in the other direction.]
Clyde: "Should one of us go with Norm? What if the Rat Beast corners him?"
Lincoln: "Norm knows this basement better than anyone, there's no way that monster will get the jump on him."
Norm: [Offscreen, yells] "Aah! Back you beast! Aah!"
[The gang runs to help.]
Clyde: "We're coming, Norm!"
Liam: "Hold on, buddy!"
[Rusty groans and goes after them. They get to the supply closet.]
Norm: [Inside, with a lot of crashing sounds.] "Gah! Take that! And that!"
Stella: [Gives Lincoln the flashlight and grabs the doorknob.] "Norm, are you okay?"
Norm: "Stay back! This thing is vicious."
[Rusty backs away.]
Lincoln: "We have to help him."
Clyde: [in unison] "Uh..."
Zach: [in unison] "I'm not going in there."
Liam: [in unison] "No thank you."
Rusty: "Well, somebody has to be a hero, this is a job for..." [Puffs out his chest and grabs a nearby broom.] "Rusty Spokes!"
[Rusty charges at the supply closet holding the broom like a spear, only for Norm to open the door, unknowingly smashing Rusty into the wall, the other kids are happy Norm is okay. Norm closes the door, Rusty is now dazed.]
Norm: "I got the beast, you don't wanna go in there, it's pretty gruesome."
Stella: "Wow, thank you, Norm."
Zach: "Did it have Stella's music box?"
Norm: "No, I'm sorry." [Stella looks at the ground, sad.] "But don't worry, if it's down here, I'll find it. In the meantime, let's get you, kids, back upstairs."
[They all head back when suddenly, there's a noise behind them. They all gasp, and Lincoln shines the flashlight in that direction.]
Stella: "What was that?"
[The shadow of a giant rat with glowing green eyes appears at the end of the hall.]
Rusty: "The Rat Beast!"
Clyde: [Scared] "I thought Norm already got him."
Stella: [Grabs the broom from Rusty.] "Give me back my music box you monster!"
[Stella charges at the beast, her friends alongside cheering her on, Norm gasps and runs ahead of them.]
Norm: [Stopping them] "Wait!"
[Norm looks behind him, and from around the corner, comes a small and rather cute rat, with glowing green eyes and two tails.]
All Six: [Confused] "Huh?"
Norm: [Picks up the rat.] "I can explain, this little fella is your Rat Beast."
Zach: "Then who were you fighting in the closet?"
Norm: "No one, I was just play-acting so you kids would go away. I didn't want you to find out about Cinnamon here, he and I go way back. He used to live in the school science lab," [Flashback to the faithful day, Norm is sweeping the science lab, and hanging out with Cinnamon.] "Aw, he was great company on the late shift." [The two laugh and Norm tosses him a corn chip.] "But one faithful night, we were having such a ball, I forgot to lock the supply closet." [Cinnamon sees corn chips in the closet full of chemicals.] "And the next day," [The next morning, Norm returns and gasps at the outcome, dropping his coffee mug. End of flashback.] "I don't know what he got into in there, but he came back out like this. A freak of nature!" [Cinnamon gives Norm a dirty look.] "Eh, not to me of course. But I was afraid that scientists would wanna take him away to be studied, so I hid him down here in the basement, with a steady supply of his favorite snack; corn chips." [Gives Cinnamon another one.] "I've been able to keep him a secret for ten whole years."
Zach: "Well, not exactly."
Clyde: "He's been stealing kids' stuff all over school."
Stella: "He took my music box from my backpack."
Norm: [Unhappy] "Cinnamon Bartholomew! Is this true?"
[Cinnamon nods and jumps down from Norm's shoulder. He moves a stack of boxes, revealing a hole in the wall full of stolen stuff; Liam's harmonica, Mollie's penny, Girl Jordan's hoops, and...]
Stella: [Happy] "My music box!"
[She opens it, and Cinnamon dances with the elephant.]
Norm: [Can't believe this] "Oh, I can't believe you, buddy, you are going to have to return everything you've taken, and write apology notes." [Sighs, to Stella] "I'm sorry about all the trouble, ah, I just wanted to look out for my friend."
Stella: [Understanding] "I get that," [Looks at her own friends.] same way these guys looked out for me."
Norm: "So, you think you could maybe keep this a secret?"
[The gang looks at each other sure that they can.]
[At lunch the next day, Girl Jordan is happy to have her earrings back.]
Girl Jordan: "Wow, I never thought I'd see these again." [Hugs them, and looks at the gang, Liam is playing his harmonica.] "Did you have to fight the Rat Beast for them?"
[The gang looks at each other, and laughs.]
Stella: "No, we searched the whole school, and I'm pretty sure it was all a hoax."
Lincoln: "We did find tons of missing stuff though." [Grabs their box of recovered goods.] "If you see Mollie, tell her we've got her lucky Canadian penny."
Girl Jordan: [Admires the penny] "Ooh, so exotic," [heads off] "I'll let her know, thanks again."
[They all bid her ado, and Clyde blows his whistle.]
Clyde: "Shall we commence the daily lunch swap?"
[Everybody grabs their lunches, and Rusty likes what Stella has.]
Rusty: "Ooh, corn chips, trade you my mustard sandwich."
Stella: "Sorry, Rusty, these are spoken for." [Walks over to the air vent, takes out a chip, and holds it near the grate making chittering sounds, glowing green eyes emerge from the duct.] "Here you go, bud."
[Stella gives her corn chip to Cinnamon, and giggles as he eats it.]
| v - e - d The Loud House episode transcripts