The following is a transcript for the episode "Tea Tale Heart".
[The episode begins with Lola screaming and running out of her room and knocking down Lucy's bedroom door.]
Lola: "Lucy, I need you to show me how to do that cat eye again. I'm trying a 'night on the town' look."
Lucy: "Give me one second."
Lola: [Gasps after looking at Lucy's doll.] "I didn't know you had a doll! She's... She's breathtaking! Where did you get her?"
Lucy: "I found her in one of Great Grandma Harriet's trunks in the attic."
Lola: "Well, you absolutely must allow me to throw her a 'welcome to the family' tea party."
[Lola attempts to grab the doll, but Lucy stops her.]
Lucy: "Oh, sorry, Lola, but no. She's really fragile, I have to take special care of her. I spent all day making this coffin to keep her safe."
Lola: "Ugh. A doll this beautiful deserves to be played with, not left in a creepy coffin. I can keep her safe. I swear!"
Lucy: "It's not that I don't trust you, but I know that things can get a little crazy in your room."
Lola: "Ugh, that is not true."
Lana: "YEAH! Reel it in, you guys!" [Lana is riding her skateboard with her pets and crosses Lucy's room, and then crashes into Lisa and Lily's room.] "Sorry, Lis!" [Then she crashes into her and Lola's room.] "Sorry, Lols! Broke another teacup. Actually, make that the whole set!"
Lucy: [Pops her head out of her room.] "Sorry, Lola, the answer is no." [closes her door]
Lola: [groans] "I have to find a way to play with that doll."
[Scene changes to Lola running out of her room and knocking down Lynn and Lucy's bedroom door again.]
Lola: [clears her throat] "Lucy, may I present to you: Reasons Lola Loud Should Be Trusted With Lucy's Doll." [The rolled paper in Lola's hands opens and falls.]
Lynn: "Save your breath." [Lola looks down from her paper. Lynn is lifting a weight.] "Lucy's not here, she's at a poetry convention all day. Ohhh, [stops lifting her weight.] that means there's an extra breakfast downstairs! DIBS ON LUCY'S BACON!" [She runs out of her room.]
Lola: "Gone all day? Hmmm..." [Opens the coffin and admires the doll once again.] "You're even more beautiful than I remembered. Oh, and you look so bored in there. No one to gossip with over Earl Grey and crumpets. You know, we could have a really quick tea party and I can get you back into this coffin before Lucy's home." [She looks around before taking the doll and placing it on the chair of her tea party table in her room.] "Mr. Sprinkles, Eunice... you two, please welcome... oh, we need a name for you. How about...'Lady Rosalind Cordelia Annabella Pembrookington!' Or 'Rosie' for short." [Winks at Rosie. She then takes out a teapot.] "Tea?" [Lola pours tea for her stuffed toys while humming a familiar tune] "I'll make it extra sweet for you." [She giggles and drops a sugar cube in Rosie's teacup but some tea splashes on Rosie's dress, and Lola gasps.] "Oh no." [Tries to use her saliva to get rid of the stain.] "Oh no, Lucy's gonna kill me!" [grabs the doll] "Maybe it's not that noticeable?" [Looks at Mr. Sprinkles]
[The frame focuses on Mr. Sprinkles' face for a few seconds.]
Lola: [screams] "OF COURSE IT IS!" [takes deep breaths] "Don't panic, you can fix this." [An idea chimes into her head.] "I know!" [Lola grabs Mr Sprinkles before leaving the room.] "Come on, Mr. Sprinkles, I need emotional support." [Looks at Eunice.] "No offense, Eunice, you're a delight but I just don't think we have that kind of relationship."
[Lola shuts the door and Eunice falls onto the floor.]
Lola: "Rosie, you just sit there and chat with Mr Sprinkles while I wash your dress." [She takes the dress of Rosie, only to see that it soaked through and screams.] "It soaked through?!" [Groans and thinks for a while] "Well, I suppose your body can go in the wash but your delicate porcelain head can't. So... I'll just..." [Tries in vain to pull Rosie's head off her body, but it hits a pipe and falls onto the floor, cracked.] "Oh, Rosie, I'm so sorry!" [To Mr. Sprinkles] Mr. Sprinkles, what do I do?!" Hmm... [as Lola examines the crack and thinks again.]
[Scene cuts to Lincoln's room, where he is fixing a model of a spacecraft. Lola sneaks in and grabs his glue without him noticing. Lincoln then tries to take his glue from the table but realizes it's missing. Cuts to Lola back in her room and she uses the glue to cover up the crack on Rosie's head.]
Lola: "There we go; that should hold." [To her plushies] "I dunno, what do you guys think?" [It turns out that the glue wasn't able to fix the crack and Rosie's head splits again. She groans.] "I know it looks bad, Eunice, but as my friend, you AREN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT! [sighs] I'm sorry, I'm having a day. Maybe I can just cover the crack with her hair?" [She attempts to do so, but then all of Rosie's hair dries up and falls down.] "Ugh! COULD THIS POSSIBLY GET ANY WORSE?!"
[Cuts to Lola back in the basement, and she takes out the body from the washing machine, and it turns out to have become completely pink,]
Lola: [screams] "How did this happen?!" [She finds Lana's cap in the washing machine.] "Great. The one day of the year Lana washes her hat!" [Tosses Lana's hat away] "Well, this is beyond fixing, so... [Lola chuckles nervously and thinks again.] "Hmm..."
[Lori and Leni's room. Lori is texting on her phone, and Lola hands her some money. Lori looks at Lola confused.]
Lola: "I need a ride to the antique district, NOW. No questions asked."
Lori: [Looks at the bill] "Wait, do you need to go tinkle before we leave?"
Lola: "What did I just say? But yes." [Cuts to the antique district and Lori drops her off.] "Circle the block." [Lori does so and Lola enters the store. She looks around a shelf full of dolls until she finds one that looks just like Lucy's, but the hairstyle is different and it's showing her teeth. She grabs a rolling ladder and climbs up in front of it.] "What do you think, Mr. Sprinkles? If I change the eyeliner, curl the hair, and file down the teeth, she just MIGHT pass for the original!" [puts the doll on the front desk and takes out some cash.] "I'll take her!" [She slams down the money, but due to that, the tea cups and plates in the display shatter. The lady glares at her and Lola pulls out some more.] "And... all of those."
[Thunder crashes. Later that night, Lola gets to work on the doll in her room, transitioning into a little montage. After a while, the doll looks exactly like Lucy's before it got ruined in the first place.]
Lola: "That should do it." [steps out of the room and sees Lincoln walking to his room. She gasps and quickly hides the doll behind her back.] "Lincoln, hello! Lovely weather we're having...!" [smiles nervously]
Lincoln: "Uh, yeah, I guess. Hey, have you seen my glue?"
Lola: [sees that the glue is on the table in her room and closes her door.] "Pssh, why would I have? What do you think, I go around swiping people's glue?!"
Lincoln: "You don't have to get mad about it." [closes his door]
Lola: [clearly mad at this point] "I'm not mad!" [She goes into Lynn and Lucy's room and puts the replacement doll into the coffin and closes it like it was never touched at all, Lola then takes Rosie out of Mr. Sprinkles.] "You were once so beautiful... [her voice gets menacing] ...but now I have to get rid of you!"
[A hole is dug outside the front yard, and the next shot has Lola dragging the doll under the house.]
Lola: "Sorry, Rosie, but if Lucy finds you, I'm toast." [Sets Rosie down and a cup of tea.] "Here, in case you get thirsty." [crawls her way out]
[The next morning...]
Lola: [yawns and stretches as she wakes up from her slumber and greets her shelf of dolls as she leans over her bed.]
"Good morning, sweet princes and princesses!" [She moves Mr. Sprinkles out of the way only to see Rosie further behind the shelf as lightning crashes; this causes her to gasp and scream.] "Rosie! How did you get back up here?!" [points a finger at Rosie] "We put you in the crawlspace!" [Lola stops and takes a few steps forward, rubbing her chin, trying to rationalize the situation.] "Maybe I just dreamed it. Yeah! It was probably that cheese I ate right before bed, always gives me nightmares!"
[Later that night, Lola, in a pink hoodie, enters the backyard, looks around, and grabs a shovel with Rosie in her pocket. She goes behind Charles' doghouse, digs up a hole, drops Rosie inside it, and fills it back up. Charles comes out, confused by what Lola's doing. She notices and glares at him.]
Lola: "You saw nothing!" [She heads back inside and Charles goes back into his house and whimpers, again.]
[Dawn rises, again...]
Lola: [giggles as she walks into her room with Mr. Sprinkles.] "I know! And it's like, 'Just because you have a beautiful mane does not make you the fashion police, am I right? I'm right!" [As Lola pours tea for her dolls, she spots Rosie at the table, prompting her to spill the tea, drop her teapot, and scream.] "What are YOU doing here?! [standing on an empty chair, pointing her finger.] "I buried you! And that was not a cheese dream!" [Lola gasps as she realizes a pattern; in a small, prolong voice.] "You're haunted...!" [Cut to Rosie with thunder clapping.] "Of course you are... you belong to Lucy!" [gets off the chair] Well, my little friend... you picked the WRONG person to haunt!" [She puts Rosie in a garbage bag and tosses her in one of the trash cans outside the front yard.] "Sayonara, spooky! Good luck getting back from the dump."
[Cuts to a garbage truck dumping Mr. Grouse's trash. Lola is satisfied and Lincoln approaches with a garbage bag.]
Lincoln: "Hey, Lols, how's it going?"
Lola: "Ugh! Lincoln, what's with the third degree?! It's none of your business how it's going!" [stomps back inside]
Lincoln: "Why are you so mad?"
Lola: [clearly mad] "I'M NOT MAD!"
THE NEXT DAY...
[Lola is wearing a cucumber mask over her face, with her hair done curled. She takes off the cucumbers covering her eyes, only to find Rosie sitting on her desk.]
Lola: [screams while thunder claps on close-up of Rosie yet again; Lola jumps off her chair.] "Seriously?!" [bangs her fist on the desk] "Okay, that's it! I'm taking care of this creepy doll, ONCE AND FOR ALL!" [She walks across her bedroom to grab a large pink duffel bag to stuff Rosie in.]
[Cut to the hallway, with Lincoln in Lola's path.]
Lincoln: "Hey, Lols, where are you off to?"
Lola: "Ugh! Why are you everywhere?! Shouldn't you be playing with Clyde or something?!" [swatting her hand at Lincoln as some kind of pest.]
Lincoln: "Clyde's at his weekly therapy appointment. He invited me, but..." [notices a light thud as Lola ignores him; Lincoln irritably darts his eyes as Lola walks downstairs, then points his eyes at the camera when Lola leaves.]
[Cut to Lola driving her car on the street and stops at Flip's Food & Fuel. Flip's feet are in a hot dog steamer with four wieners placed near them; the door opens.]
Lola: "Flip, you ol' scoundrel, you still got that boat?"
Flip: "Well, depends who's asking. You with the tax man?"
Lola: "No. I'm six."
Flip: "Ah, then yup. What can I do you for?"
Lola: "I need a ride to Tall Timbers pond, midnight, on the side where the dock lights have burned out."
Flip: "Ah, it's one of those kinds of trips. Well, I can do it, but it's gonna cost ya!"
Lola: [pulls out Mr. Sprinkles] "Money's no object, Flip, I've lost a lot of baby teeth lately." [She takes out some cash and places it on the counter, much to Flip's delight.]
[That night at Tall Timbers, Flip rows his boat in the requested place of the pond while Lola has a lantern and is wearing a life jacket.]
Flip: [exhausted] "How much farther? You know I charge by the nautical mile."
Lola: "This is fine right here." [She puts the lantern down and dumps Rosie out of the duffel bag, wraps some rope around a brick and wraps the remain around Rosie and ties it together with a loud grunt. She holds it up in the air.] "So long, sister!" [throws Rosie into the deep end of the pond and looks at Flip, who looks a bit scared because of what she just did and glares.] "What are you looking at?"
Flip: [nervous] "Eh, nothing. I don't want any trouble."
Lola: "Keep your yap shut and you won't get any, now row!"
[Lola puts a carrot stick in her mouth and Flip rows his boat.]
[The next morning, Lola is sound asleep when a drip of water lands on her cheek. She notices and removes her sleeping mask to find Rosie on her bed right in front of her, dripping wet and covered in vines and rope, and falls over, soaking up the blanket. Reaching her limit, Lola runs out of her room, screaming, goes into Lynn and Lucy's room and shuts the door, catching her breath. Lucy is on her bed with her fortune telling cards.]
Lola: [scared] "LUCY!"
Lucy: Hey, Lola, glad you're here. I just drew the Ace of Wands, which means you're going-"
Lola: [She is pushing Lucy's dresser to the door.] "Never mind that. We need to barricade the door. Help me move this dresser!" [continues pushing the dresser]
Lucy: "Uh, want to tell me what's going on?"
Lola: [sighs] "Okay, I took your creepy doll and then I broke her and now she's haunting me. I'm so sorry, Lucy, you told me not to touch her and I should've listened to you."
Lucy: [confused] "You broke her?" [opens her coffin, which contains the doll Lola replaced Rosie with.] "She looks fine to me."
Lola: "Uh, that's- yeah, that's not your doll." [She opens her door with Lynn's hockey stick as her weapon.] "That is!"
[Cuts to Rosie as thunder claps yet again.]
Lucy: [walks up to Rosie and grabs her.] "Whoa, how did you even do this?"
Lola: "Well, it began as a simple tea stain, and then things kinda progressed from there." [sighs guiltily] "I'm a terrible sister."
Lucy: "No you're not. I forgive you. It's not like you did this on purpose."
Lola: [smiles and hugs Lucy] "Thank you, Luce, you're really nice. So, can you please get her to stop haunting me and stuff?"
Lucy: "She was probably just haunting you because you took her away from her rightful owner. Now that you've given her back, I'm sure she'll leave you alone."
Lola: "Phew. Well, that's a relief, and sorry again for wrecking your doll and stuff."
Lucy: "Pfft, wrecking her? Now that I know she can haunt people, I like her even better." [She leaves with Rosie]
Lola: [to the viewers] "Heh, of course she does."
[Later that day, Lana is riding her skateboard in the hallway with her pets leading the way once again, but things are going out of control.]
Lana: "Whoooooa! Whoa, guys! Wrong way!" [She crashes into the bathroom. The pets go under Lynn's bed while Lynn is doing her homework, notices, and peeks under. Rosie is seen on Lucy's bed. Lana then enters the room.] "Sorry, Lynn, I'm still training them." [chuckles]
Lynn: "No big. They probably smell the sandwich I left down there."
Lana: [She manages to grab Bitey but then notices Rosie.] "Oop, looks like Lola's doll got out of our room again." [attempts to take her]
Lynn: "That's not Lola's, that's Lucy's."
Lana: "It is? Oh, well, I feel like a dummy, 'cause I kept finding it in all these weird places and returning it to our room. First, it was in the crawlspace, then buried in the backyard, then at the dump. I even found her at the bottom of Tall Timbers pond when I was visiting my fish friends."
Lynn: "Weird. How'd it get to all those places?"
Lana: "I don't know, Lynn, how do boogers get made? Some stuff is just unexplainable."
Lynn: "Yeah, true that."
[Just then, Lana's pets come out of Lynn's bed, escaping with the sandwich and Lana notices.]
Lana: [runs out of the room] "Hey! You guys better share! Dibs on the pickles!"
[Lynn looks back at Rosie confused, and sees her fall over. She gets scared and backs up against the wall, holding up her hockey stick in defense as an iris closes in on Rosie.]
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