During gym class, Coach Pacowski announces that today, they're going to go through the obstacle course. As the students go (and struggle) through the obstacle course, Mrs. Johnson arrives, and Coach shows off how smitten he is. When the students take note of how head over heels Coach is for Mrs. Johnson, Lincoln and Clyde realize that if they can get the two together, gym class might be a less painful experience.
At the Loud House, Lincoln asks Lori for advice on how to impress someone, and she says that the they need to talk about what their interests are. At school, Lincoln and Clyde sneak into Coach's office, and discover a medical book (thinking he's studying to become a doctor), photos of him at some of the world's most famous landmarks (believing he's a world traveler), and overhear Coach say he has a boat (believing he uses it to go on his adventures). During lunch, Lincoln and Clyde stage a discussion on how interesting Coach is right next to Mrs. Johnson, and Mrs. Johnson is impressed with what she hears. Going back to Lori, Lincoln learns that the next thing to do is for the man to ask out the woman. Grabbing some supplies, Lincoln and Clyde convince Coach to ask out Mrs. Johnson, and get him dressed up for the occasion. Looking fancy, Coach enters Mrs. Johnson's classroom, asks her out, and she agrees.
The next day, the kids cheer for Lincoln and Clyde, since they managed to get Coach to let them play with the parachute. However, when Lincoln and Clyde join in, they discover Coach all gloomy. They confront him, and Coach reveals that the date went terribly, since what he told Mrs. Johnson wasn't appealing to her at all. They point out the details like the medical book, the landmark photos, and the boat, but Coach reveals that he has the medical book because of his foot being infected, the photos of him at the world's famous landmarks were taken at a nearby mini-golf course, and the boat he referred to yesterday was a houseboat that he and his mother live in. Lincoln and Clyde confess that they were responsible for the date going wrong, since they were the ones who tried to coax him and Mrs. Johnson to get together, just so gym class would be less painful. Now knowing the story, Coach admits that he won't punish the boys, but he'll kill them for interfering with his personal life. Running away, the boys attempt to evade their enraged teacher through the obstacle course. During the chase, Coach suffers a massive blow to his head.
In the Nurse's office, Coach doesn't remember what happened, and eventually falls for the nurse since she's a master at mini-golf.
Sometime later, Mrs. Johnson arrives to her class, angry because of her lousy date last night, and orders a pop quiz, much to her students' chagrin. Suddenly, Norm, the school janitor, arrives to pick up the trash, and Lincoln and Clyde, realizing that Mrs. Johnson is head over heels for Norm, immediately get to work on getting the two together.
Girl Jordan is revealed to be shrapnephobic (more specifically of barbed wire).
A pennant reading Royal Oak hangs in Coach Pacowski's office. Royal Oaks is the town where series creator Chris Savino grew up.
Cartoon physics: One of the obstacles on the obstacle course is a giant concrete crusher. While in real life, getting crushed by a slab of concrete would instantly kill a person (and at any rate should not be allowed in public schools) due to the sheer weight and pressure exerted, the characters crushed by it quickly regain their mass and figure in a rare example of rubber band physics.
Teachers' Union - The title of this episode means an organization of teachers who work to protect their rights and interests.
Clyde losing his clothes during an extremely violent game of dodge-ball is similar to Charlie Brown losing his clothes whenever he plays baseball (also similar to Lynn in "No Such Luck").
Mrs. Johnson's food bowl is yellow with black zigzags, much like Charlie Brown's shirt.
Eiffel Tower, Taj Mahal, and Great Wall of China - The three photos of Coach Pacowski at the mini-golf course display these three famous landmarks, which Lincoln and Clyde thought were the actual landmarks.
Grease - One of the pennants in Coach Pacowski's office says "Rydell", which is the name of the high school in this 1978 musical film.
Bingo - The pet that Clyde's Nana had named "Bingo" who is a dog is a reference to the children's folk song lyric, "There was a farmer who had a dog, and Bingo was his name-o!"
Mrs. Johnson's skirt is not colored in on one instance when Coach Pacowski asks her out.
When Lincoln and Clyde enter the gym to play in the parachute, their backpacks disappear.