The following is a transcript for the episode "The Boss Maybe".
Note: Scenes cut out from British airings are highlighted in red.
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[Open at Reininger's. Leni is at the register and offering a pair of gloves to Scoots.] Leni: "OMGosh, I'm thinking these gloves would look super chic on you, Scoots." Scoots:[tries the gloves on] "Oh, these are too tight! My fingers can't breathe!" Cheryl:[approaches the register.] "Excuse me, darling. I'm going line-dancing tonight, and I need to know which of those britches are best for boot-scooting!" Leni: "Sorry, Cheryl, but when there's a line, you have to wait your turn." Cheryl:[hands Leni the britches.] "Ooh, aren't I a rude goose. Y'all got a rhinestone vest section?" Leni: "Over behind the chaps!" [she turns back to Scoots and folds the britches.] "So, how are we feeling about the gloves? They're snug in all the right places." Scoots: "Hmmm... I don't know..." Tyler:[passing by] "Sweet ride. Sweeter gloves." [Scoots's shades break.] Scoots: "Here's a tip for a job well done!" [She hands Leni money and speeds off. Leni pushes a button on the register.] Ms. Carmichael: "Leni, can I see you in the back?" Leni: "Sure. But first, can I interest you in a new floral fanny pack? Oh, sorry, Ms. C. I can't turn it off!"
[In the back, Fiona and Miguel are waiting with a "CONGRATS!" cake.] Leni: "Yay, cake! Is it my birthday?" Ms. Carmichael: "You, Leni Loud, are Reininger's Employee of the Month!" [shows a plaque with said award.] Leni: "Eee! It's my birthday and I'm Employee of the Month!" Miguel: "It's just the second one, Len." Ms. Carmichael: "Remember when you first started? Oh! We had a few bumps in the road." [Flashback to Leni's first day on the job. She's talking to a man who has picked out a yellow sweater.] Leni: "OMGosh. I cannot let you buy that, sir." Male Shopper: "Oh, thanks for your opinion, but I-" Leni: "It's so not your color." [The male shopper returns the sweater to Leni. Back to the present.] Ms. Carmichael: "So here's to you, Leni." [Leni takes the cake] "We are so proud of how far you've come." Leni: "Thank you! But the break room isn't that far from the register." [She takes a bite of the cake as Ms. Carmichael facepalms.]
[Later, Leni is waiting outside Reininger's when Rita pulls up in Vanzilla.] Rita: "Hi, sweetie!" [picks up Leni and drives off.] "How was work?" Leni:[Elated] "Amazing! I'm Employee of the Month!" Rita: "Can't say I'm surprised. You did sell Dad those scarves and now he feels so hip." [Flashback to when Leni sold her dad the scarves.] Lynn Sr.: "I didn't think I was a scarf guy, but this just goes with everything!" [Back to the present.] Rita: "I'm proud of you, Leni. You've really grown up! Speaking of which, how would you feel about being in charge while Dad and I go away for the night?" Leni: "Hmmm... I would feel... scared? Did I get the answer right?" Rita: "Honey, no, we're asking you to be in charge. Dad's catering the Renaissance fair, and I need to help him run the mutton station." Leni: "You really think I can handle it?" Rita: "I do. Now that Lori's at college, you're the oldest in the house, and I think you're ready to step up." [Leni whimpers and sulks.] "You'll be fine. Just trust your instincts."
[The Loud House. The parents, wearing Renaissance garb with Lily in a knight's helmet, prepare to leave.] Lynn Sr.:[in a British accent.] "Fare thee well, young maiden. We are setting forth for the Renaissance fair." [grabs a drumstick and "knights" Leni with it.] "Know that we are proud of thy newfound responsibility." Leni: "I don't know what that means, but thank you!" Rita: "I think what your dad means is you're gonna do great. Please don't let the house burn down." [As soon as Lynn Sr. closes the door, Leni hears her siblings screaming in the kitchen.] Leni: "I got this. Just one night. Oldest sibling." [She walks into the kitchen and finds Lola and Lynn fighting.] Lola: "No, let it go- let it!" Leni: "What's going on, guys?" Lynn: "Lola's trying to take my money!" Lola: "It's my money! I spotted it!" Lynn: "I was the one who fished it out of the sewer!" [Lola lunges at Lynn, and the fight resumes.] Leni: "Come on! Stop fighting! Please?" [Lola and Lynn briefly pause before resuming their fight. Leni smells something disgusting and gags.] "Ugh, ew!" [The smell is revealed to be coming from Lana.] Lana:[Relaxed] "Yep, that's me. I just got sprayed by a skunk. He wasn't down for it at first, but I talked him into it." Lucy:[holding something] "Leni, could you help me make room for this?" Leni: "Sure! Is that lime jelly?" Lucy: "No. It's a spleen." [She puts the spleen in the fridge. Leni looks around and sees Lola and Lynn still fighting and Lana eating from the cookie jar. She has trouble breathing and her eyes dilate. She yelps and freezes.] "Leni? Hello?" [Lola and Lynn stop their fighting. Lola snaps her fingers in front of Leni, but nothing works.] Lola: "Yep, she is officially in over her head. I mean, Lori would have handled all of this in two seconds flat! Poor thing." Leni:[Breaks out of her daze and realizes something.] "Lori! That's it!" [dashes off]
[At Fairway, Lori swings her golf club when her cell phone rings, throwing her off balance and sending her into the sand pit. Upon crashing, she picks up the phone.] Leni: "Lori, help! Mom and Dad are gone and I'm in charge and I don't know how to do, like, anything!" Lori: "Sorry, Leni, but I'm at practice. Can I call you back?" Leni: "No, please, Lori! Just help me out this one time, and I'll never call you ever again, I promise!" Lori: "Well, that's a little extreme. Just tell me what's going on."
[Back at the Loud House, Lola and Lynn are still fighting over the banknote. Leni approaches.] Leni:[Firmly] "OK, guys. You're gonna split the money and that's final." [cuts the money in half with scissors.] Lola:[furious] "That's not how money works!" [Leni carries Lana off for a bath and splashes tomato juice on her.] Leni: "Tomato juice will take care of that smell." [Lana grunts in anger. The skunk that sprayed Lana appears. Leni becomes infuriated and points him to the door.] "No! Get away from my sister!" [The skunk scurries off.]
[In the living room, Leni collapses onto the sofa.] Leni: "That was, like, exhausting. Can we all go to sleep now?" Lucy: "It's 4:30." Luna:[from upstairs] "Dude, Luan turned our room into a comedy club, and she kicked me out because I wouldn't pay the two-lemonade minimum! Little help?" [The front door opens. Tyler appears carrying Scoots around his arm, taking her upstairs.] Scoots: "Me and my boo are here for the early show." [Leni, Lucy, and Luna peek into Luna and Luan's room. Luan is performing to Scoots, Tyler, Flip, and Benny.] Luan:[clears throat and speaks on microphone] "What did Germany say to Italy first thing in the morning? Europe early!" [laughs] "Get it?" [Flip and Benny laugh.] Flip: "Love a good geography gag!" Luan: "Aw, thank you, folks! Now don't forget to tip your server!" [The camera pans down to reveal Charles is the server. He is carrying glasses of juice on a tray above his head. Leni hyperventilates and once again freezes.] Lucy: "I think you're gonna need this." [hands over Leni's phone]
[At Fairway, Lori is reading in the library when her phone rings again, disturbing everyone else.] Lori: "Sorry, it's my sister." [picks up] "Hi, Leni. What's up?" Leni: "Luan's running a comedy club out of her room!" Lori: "Again?!" [The students shush her.] "Ooh, sorry." [crouches under her desk, whispers.] "OK, here's what you do."
[Back at the Loud House, Luan resumes her comedy club.] Luan:[On microphone] "What do you call a chicken mixed with a-" [Leni bursts in wearing a firefighter's outfit.] Leni:[Demanding] "Folks, we've gotta shut this place down." [tries reading something from a piece of paper] "We are over ca... pa... huh?" Luna:[sneaks up and whispers] "Capacity." Leni: "Capacity!"
[All the attendants leave.] Flip: "Well, if the fire department's here, I guess that's legit." Leni:[as Scoots clings onto Tyler.] "Scoots, where's your scooter?" Scoots: "I upgraded." [leaves] Luna: "Thanks for the assist, dude!" Leni:[sighs] "Now can I be done?" Lincoln:[Enters the scene with Clyde] "Hey Leni, is it cool if Clyde and I watch The Disemboweling?" Lucy: "Isn't that supposed to be the scariest movie of all time?" Lincoln:[Scoffs] "What? It's a comedy! So Leni, can we?" [Leni hyperventilates and freezes up yet again.] "Leni? I'll take that as a yes." Clyde: "Yes!" [Lincoln rushes downstairs with Clyde.]
[Lori is attending a lecture at Fairway. Her professor is holding a book.] Professor: "With that terrible tee shot, a redo was requested, and thus was created: The Mulligan." [Lori's phone rings again. He becomes startled and drops his book.] "Oh, my word!" Lori: "Sorry." [picks up and whispers.] "Leni, I can't talk. I'm in class." Leni: "Lori, please!" Lori: "You've got this!" [The professor extends a hand, demanding her phone.] "Huh?" [Lori reluctantly hands her phone over.] "Fine. But if I get a call from someone named Boo-Boo Bear, I'm gonna need that back." [The professor glares and grunts at her.]
[Back at the Loud House, Leni's call hangs up. The chaos goes out of control.] Luna:[from upstairs] "Seriously, dude! Enough of your jokes!" Luan:[from upstairs] "No, people like the jokes!" [Charles and Cliff wrestle over a bone and knock over a few objects.] Lincoln:[rushing to the couch with popcorn.] "Hey Clyde, I got the popcorn!" [Leni covers her ears.] Luna:[from upstairs] "My guitar, dude!" [Leni rushes outside. She hyperventilates and screams in anger. The camera pans to the right, revealing Mr. Grouse sat on his lawnmower calling from next door.] Mr. Grouse: "What in the name of Bing Crosby is going on in that house?!" [The chaotic noises continue.] Leni:[Calling] "Mr. Grouse! I'm so sorry for all the noise! Are we bothering you?" Mr. Grouse: "Darn tootin' you were!" [Rummages in his lawnmower and picks up some red flowers hanging loose with some soil.] "I was so distracted I mowed all over my begonias!" [Chucks the flowers behind him and clenches his fist in anger] "Eight months down the drain." Leni:[Calling] "Sorry! We'll keep it down! There's just a lot going on over here--" Lincoln:[Comes outside with Clyde - trying to control his feelings - and interrupts her.] "Leni, help! The Wi-Fi's down and the movie went out right at the scariest- I mean, funniest part!" Clyde: "I'm fine if you wanna switch gears. We could read or do a word jumble-" Lincoln:[Pleadingly] "Can you help us? Please?" Leni: "Lincoln, I have no idea how to-" [Eyes turn to Mr. Grouse.] Mr. Grouse: "Up-bup-bup." [He walks up to them] "Do a hard reset of the router by updating the LAN configuration. Once an IT guy, always an IT guy!" [Leni squeals. Mr. Grouse resets the router. It beeps. The movie The Disemboweler comes back on.] The Disemboweler:[on the TV] "What am I going to do with all these intestines?" [laughs] Lynn:[off-screen] "Bring it in, Tony!" [A moving truck has arrived and about to unload its cargo. Leni rushes into the dining room, but is sprayed with sand, forcing her to flinch.] Leni: "Huh?!" [Lynn appears in bare feet practicing volleyball on the sand - which is spread all over the floor.] Lynn: "What?" [Continues playing] "I needed a little sand to practice my beach volleyball." [Mr. Grouse walks to her.] Leni: "Mr. Grouse, what do I do?" Mr. Grouse:[Annoyed] "How the heck do I know? Figure it out yourself!" Leni: "I can't! I'm no good at this." [Pleads] "Please? Come on! You remember when I styled you for the Veterans' Day parade?" [She shows an image of Mr. Grouse dressed up for a Veterans' Day parade on her phone.] Mr. Grouse: "Eh, the Ascot did add a touch of class." [Lynn is still practicing volleyball when she hears an engine turning over. She stops, landing the ball on her head. Mr. Grouse gets in a tractor and drives her and the sand out of the dining room.] Leni: "Thanks, Mr. Grouse! You're a lifesaver!" [She screams as an explosion suddenly happens behind her.] "Huh?" [She walks over to the kitchen and notices a singed Lisa.] Leni: "What happened?!" Lisa: "Apologies, sibling. I created a new fruit punch that won't leave stains. Apparently, it is also quite combustible." [The punch drips, burning a hole in the kitchen. She gasps.] "You see? No stains!" [Rita and Lynn Sr., wearing smart clothes, appear in a thought bubble above Leni's head.] Rita Hallucination: "Please don't let the house burn down." Lynn Sr. Hallucination: "You think I can pull off a pinky ring, too?" [The thought bubble closes, but the Lynn Sr. hallucination's arm is caught.] "No, no, no, no, no, no!" [closes] Leni: "Mr. Grouse, help!" [She runs out of the kitchen, but stops at the bottom of the stairway.] Mr. Grouse: "Sorry, time for my nap!" Leni:[Briefly trembles] "This is an emergency! You can't just go home and take a nap!" Mr. Grouse:[On the sofa] "Who said anything about going home?" [He starts sleeping. Leni becomes startled as rock music plays from upstairs. Luan appears at the top of the stairway.] Luan:[Annoyed] "Leni, Luna's turned my comedy club into a rock club! Do something!" Lucy:[joins Luan upstairs] "Leni, do you know how to get blood- I mean, ketchup off the ceiling?" [Luan is disturbed by the blood] Lincoln:[He and Clyde are still watching the movie with terrified expressions.] "Leni, turn the movie off!" Lana:[holding the skunk] "What do you mean you're empty?" [the skunk runs off, causing her to fall over.] "Wait, wait! Don't go!" [The skunk passes Lisa - still singed - and causes her to spill her fruit punch underneath Mr. Grouse's seat. It corrodes causing the seat to fall down a hole.] Lisa: "Aw, fiddlesticks!" [The chaotic screaming continues. Leni's left eye twitches. With dramatic music also playing, she screams in despair and hurries to a corner in the dining room. Just after she sits down, her phone rings, and she picks up.] Leni: "Miguel? Fiona?" [Split-screen between Leni and her friends; Miguel and Fiona are revealed to be at the spa.] Miguel: "Hey, Leni-boo, we're having self-care day! Wanna come with?" Leni:[Stressed] "Guys, I can't. I'm in charge at home and everybody needs something and I have no idea how to do anything and I'm totally hopeless!" Fiona: "Hopeless? Um, I'm sorry, but this does not sound like the Leni Loud we know and love." Miguel: "Yeah, we've seen you kill it at work all the time. You're a total boss!" Fiona: "Just tap into that confidence at home." Miguel: "All you need to do is think of your family as customers that don't pay." Leni: "OMGosh, thanks, guys. I know what to do now. You're both, like, geniuses. Hmph!" [She hangs up and whistle calls. The children gather around and listen to Leni.] "Attention shoppers—I mean, siblings. Here's the deal: We're gonna wait in line and everyone's gonna get their turn, OK?" [The siblings get in line, Lisa first.] "So how can I help you today, ma'am?" Lisa: "Well, my concoction is currently corroding the living room floor." Leni: "Hmm... We have some lovely water that would do a great job of stopping that burn." [Leni grabs a hose and sprays the fire around the hole.] "Next!" Lincoln:[in unison] "Our movie was just... way too scary!" Clyde:[in unison] "I can't stop thinking about what she just..." Leni: "Let's see if we can get you folks into something a little less terrifying." [Later, they are all sat on the couch while she reads a book to Lincoln and Clyde.] "And the caterpillar turned into a beautiful butterfly!" Clyde:[as Lincoln sighs] "Ah, that hits the spot." Leni: "Next!" [In the next scene, Leni slaps a "CLOSED" sign over Luna and Luan's room while Luna and Luan look unimpressed. Later, she hands Lola and Lynn $5 banknotes to "split" their money.] Leni: "Five for you and five for you makes ten. Thanks for coming in today!" Lola: "Um, we live here." [The skunk appears behind the bin and whimpers.] Leni:[Demanding] "Sir, do not make me call security!" [The skunk leaves the front door and goes outside.] "And we are closed!" [almost closes the door on her parents and Lily, who have come back. She becomes surprised.] "Dad? I thought you were coming back tomorrow." Lynn Sr.:[British accent] "Len, no one bothered to tell me that the Renaissance fair was vegan and I was only packing meat. So we saddled up our steed-" Rita:[translating for her husband] "Vanzilla." Lynn Sr.: "-and set out for our castle." Rita: "The house. Which looks great, Leni! There's only one hole in the floor! I knew no job would be too big for my employee of the month." Leni: "Aw, thanks, Mom!" [Excitedly] "Do I get more cake?" Lynn Sr.: "How about a half-eaten mutton leg?" [Leni squeals and prepares to take a bite, but are interrupted by Mr. Grouse, calling from the hole.] Mr. Grouse:[extending his hand from the hole.] "Mmm, mutton leg! What? Napping makes me hungry." [Leni hands over the mutton leg and he starts eating.] "That's a good one." [Leni shrugs her shoulders.]
