[The Loud House; Lincoln and his younger sisters are playing The Settlers of Cat-Land out in the driveway]
Lincoln: "I'm so excited Shiloh's hanging out with us today, I hope he gets here soon."
[A series of horns blare as the sound of an engine pulling up and stopping is heard, much to their surprise]
Lola: "Soon enough for you?"
[An Endure Lance Gym car has parked up from right outside, as Shiloh, wearing roller skates, skates up to greet his cousins, sliding to a stop.]
Shiloh: "Hey guys!"
Lincoln: "Hey, Shiloh."
Lana: "Nice slide."
Lucy: "Nice to see you, cousin."
Shiloh: "Thanks for letting me hang here today, I didn't wanna go to my mom's hot yoga class. It smells funny."
[Speaking of, Lana sniffs her armpit then sighs in relief as a green odor is released from under her arm, much to her twin's disgust]
Lola: "Well, it doesn't smell much better here," [Lola's statement offends Lana] "but we're happy to have you."
Lily: [rushing across the table to greet her cousin] "Shiloh! Shiloh! Shiloh!"
[Lily then jumps into her cousin's arms]
Shiloh: [laughs] "Hi, Lily." [places her down as he starts searching for someone] "Where's Lynn?"
Lynn: [offscreen] "Right here, buddy!"
[Lynn arrives to greet her cousin while on her skateboard. They both perform a secret handshake, which ends with them clucking like chickens]
Lynn: "You arrived just in time, Shi! I'm about to perform my latest super stunt."
Shiloh: "YES! I love watching the GLOAT in action."
Lynn and Shiloh: "Greatest Loud of All Time!"
[Lynn pushes a skate ramp into the driveway, all while Shiloh watches in anticipation. Soon, Lynn is on her skateboard building up speed, as she skates off the ramp into the air. Her younger siblings and cousin watches in amazement as she spins in mid air while making a pose, then she lands and poses with her skateboard. Both Shiloh, Lincoln and the sisters (sans Lola as she's applying lipstick while looking at herself in her mirror) all cheer in unison. Shiloh then skates up to his cousin.]
Shiloh: "That was awesome! More awesome than the time you bungie jumped off the roof!! More awesome than the time you parasailed through--"
Lola: "Shiloh, sweetie, Lynn's ego is healthy enough, she does not need any more fawning." [laughs]
[Lisa notes the hypocrisy, given Lola had been looking at herself in the mirror applying makeup the whole time.]
Lisa: [snorts] "Well, there's some delicious irony."
[Lola, realising that Lisa was referring to her, glares at her sibling.]
Shiloh: "Do you think I can try?"
Lynn: [laughs, while acting sarcastic knowing he would be unable to do what she did] "Awww. You can try."
[Lynn hands Shiloh her skateboard.]
[Now Shiloh, on Lynn's skateboard, is building up some speed in an attempt to replicate what she did. Lynn and her siblings watch in amazement as Shiloh skates off the ramp. Like Lynn, he spins in mid air and makes a pose, but this times he lands on the garage roof while grinding on it, then jumps off the roof with a flip, before landing back on the ground and posing with the skateboard.]
Shiloh: "Uh, uh, I added a couple things. Was that okay?"
[The Loud siblings just stare back at their cousin with stunned expressions]
Lincoln: "Okay? That was INCREDIBLE! Right, Lynn?"
[Pan over to Lynn, who unlike the rest of her siblings, is not impressed.]
Lynn: [annoyed] "Yeah. That was okay."
[In the backyard; Shiloh, Lola and Lily are playing with Charles, Lincoln, Lucy and Lisa are reading with Lucy hanging upside down from the tree, Lana is snoozing.]
Lynn: [offscreen] "Hey, Shiloh!"
[Camera pans over to Lynn, who is now wearing a jetpack, as she puts on her goggles]
Lynn: "Watch this."
[Lynn flicks a switch on the back of her jetpack from "off" to "on". Lynn then takes off into the air as she starts flying around, as her younger siblings and cousin watch and cheer her on in amazement. After flying around a couple of times, she then proceeds to fly right down the chimney and out of the back door, before slowly landing back on the ground. Everyone cheers in astonishment as Lynn brushes herself off.]
Shiloh: "Lynn! That was so awesome! Can I try?"
Lynn: [knowing that he won't be able to do it] "I guess so. But don't be discouraged if you don't get it right the first time."
[Shiloh excitedly grabs the goggles and jetpack off of Lynn, causing her to spin and become dizzy.]
[Shiloh is now using the jetpack. As he flies, he whizzes around the tree and carves his name into the leaves. Everyone except Lynn cheers in awe as he flies into the chimney just like Lynn did... however, he doesn't appear to be coming out of the backdoor]
Lynn: "Huh?" [sarcastically] "Poor little fella. Looks like this stunt was just too much for him."
[Suddenly, Shiloh causally walks through the back gate while brushing himself off.]
Lynn: "Lemme guess. You crashed navigating the hairpin turn from the living room into the dining room?" [scoffs] "Yeah, rookie mistake."
Shiloh: "I actually went out the front door and into town. I stopped by the Burpin' Burger to say hi to Luan, she gave me Double Belchers for everyone!"
[He holds up two Burpin' Burger food bags. Lincoln and his little sisters rush over to Shiloh in excitement, trampling Lynn in the process. Lynn lifts her head out of the ground as she growls in envy.]
Lynn: [offscreen] "Oh, Shiloh!"
[Shiloh, Lincoln and the little sisters peek round the back yard to find a giant cannon in front of the house with Lynn standing on it.]
Lynn: "Watch this!"
[Everyone gasps in amazement as Lynn jumps into the cannon. The cannon then launches Lynn up into the air, as she dives back down with a flip. She then opens up a parachute that reads G.L.O.A.T. on it as she sails back down to the ground.]
Lana: "Pretty cool, Lynn!"
[Lynn smiles proudly]
Lana: [offscreen] "Shiloh, you do it now!"
[Lynn's smile vanishes as Shiloh jumps into the cannon. The cannon launches him into the air, as everyone (sans Lynn) looks on in wonder.]'
Shiloh: "WOOOOAAAAAHH!!!!"
[As Shiloh flies by, he whizzes past Nacho riding an airplane holding a banner that reads "Buy a Flippee! *Not FDA approved." Then he dives right into the planes cockpit, dive bombing into Nacho in the process. Shiloh then proceeds to fly the plane and whizzes around a cloud, carving it into his face, which then winks. Shiloh then jumps out of the plane, with Nacho angrily shaking his fist at him. Shiloh then opens up his own parachute that has his face on it as he sails to the ground, but before he makes it to the bottom, he releases his parachute and lands on the floor, while the parachute falls on Lynn. His cousins cheer him on.]
Lisa: "I do believe we have just witnessed the emergence," [holds Shiloh's arm up in the air] "of an all-new GLOAT!"
[Lisa is then joined by her other siblings as they carry their cousin off.]
Lincoln and his younger sisters: "GLOAT! GLOAT! GLOAT! GLOAT!"
[Lynn, who is still underneath the parachute, tears it open while screaming in a jealous rage as she starts angrily snorting.]
Lucy: [suddenly appears next to Lynn] "Are you okay?" [Lynn gets startled] "You've always been the GLOAT, and now--"
Lynn: [sarcastically] "I'm great!"
[She angrily storms off inside, but as she opens the door, Lucy is standing in the doorway with her poetry book, startling her again]
Lucy: "I believe I have the perfect poem to offer you some comfort in this dark moment. Ahem. Failure. Like a cloud of misery--"
Lynn: [slamming the door on her sisters face] "Would you excuse me?!!" [Angrily storms off round to the driveway] "No one." [angrily throws a trash can] "is the GLOAT!" [throws another trash can] "Around here, except ME!!"
[The camera pans out to reveal a man walking his dog, having seen her jealousy induced tantrum. Lynn them screams at the man, causing him to pick up his dog in fear and run away.]
Lynn: [groans] "I will not be bested by a six year old! This isn't over!!"
[Out on the porch, Lincoln, his younger sisters and Shiloh are all having ice cream, with Lana burping after eating a large amount of it from a bucket. A now cheerful Lynn then approaches her siblings and cousins carrying a wrestling belt]
Lana: "Oh, the GLOAT belt! Guess that belongs to you now, Shiloh."
[Lynn's cheerful demeanor disappears upon hearing that.]
Lola: "Ooh yes! But, don't just give it to him. We need a big ceremony." [gasps] "I know! Put it on, then take it off, and dramatically hand it to Shiloh."
Lynn: "I would, but you know, there's more to being the GLOAT than just daredevil stunts."
Shiloh: "There is? Like what?"
Lynn: "Well, there are tests of grit, and endurance, that really determine who is the toughest, most hardcore Loud!"
Shiloh: [excitedly] "OOOH! I wanna do those things!"
[Shiloh starts jumping up and down in excitement]
Lynn: [devilishly] "I knew you would."
[The Living Room; A banner that reads "The GLOAT Championship" is shown as Lynn and Shiloh, both sporting athletic gear, are about to duke it out on who the GLOAT is, with Lincoln representing as referee.]
Lincoln: [through microphone] "Ladies and gentlemen, lets get ready to GLOAT!!"
[The younger sisters cheer while spectating on the stairs as the scene transitions into a round card.]
Round 1 - Belch Power
Lana: [offscreen] "Challenge number one: Belch power!"
[in a three-panel shot, Shiloh and Lynn are chugging down cartons of apple juice in preparation for their challenge]
Lincoln: "Aaand... GO!"
[Lynn and Shiloh then have a burp off as Lincoln times them using a stop watch. Their burping lasts over 6 minutes, until eventually Shiloh starts to give out until he collapses from exhaustion. Lynn, on the other hand is still burping.]
Lincoln: "Lynn wins round one!"
[The younger sisters cheer at this, while all Shiloh can do is just groan in disappointment. Lynn wins round one.]
Round 2 - Grit
Lola: [offscreen] "Challenge number two!"
Lana: [offscreen] "Grit!"
[Lincoln places a plate of wings on the table, in which he takes out a bottle of hot sauce and pours it all over them. Lincoln blows his whistle as Lynn and Shiloh begin their eating challenge. Unfortunately for Shiloh, biting into just one spicy hot wing is too much for him, as a result, his face goes red, explosions erupt in his eyes, while steam shoots out of his ears. He looks over to his cousin who is able to eat the wings just fine with no difficulty. But Shiloh tries to suck it up and eat the wing. The pile of wings gradually start to disappear from the plate until their is only one left. Shiloh, still red in the face struggles to try and eat the last wing, but the spiciness of the wings prove too much for him as he collapses.]
Lincoln: "Lynn wins round two!"
[Suddenly, Lynn burps fire into her brother's face, leaving him charred, causing Lynn to wince and blush in embarrassment. Shiloh groans in disappointment again as the younger sisters cheer for their athletic older sister. Lynn wins round two.]
Round 3 - Strength
Lincoln: [offscreen] "Challenge number three: Strength!"
[Shiloh deadlifts the couch that Lincoln and his little sisters are sitting on. They all cheer for their cousin.]
Lynn: [outside] "OH YEAH?!! CHECK THIS OUT!!"
[The Living room suddenly slants to the side as everyone freaks out in unision. They all go sliding into the wall. Cut to outside where Lynn is singlehandedly lifting up THE ENTIRE LOUD HOUSE WITH JUST ONE HAND before dropping it back onto the ground. Everyone groans from inside. Lynn wins round three.]
Lincoln: [on the ground while in pain] "Round three goes to Lynn..."
[Lynn kicks opens the door which smacks into Lincoln, sending him flying across the living room.]
Lynn: [victorious] "YES!! A total sweep! I am the ONE TRUE GLOAT!!"
[The Living room in now a complete mess as the younger sisters are scattered around the floor in pain, while Lincoln is lodged into a wall. Everyone groans in agony. Shiloh pops up with a lamp in his mouth, which he spits out.]
Lynn: "Sorry, cousin! But when you mess with the GLOAT, you get the horns... or the butt! WOO! WOO! WOO!" [She hip checks her cousin, sending him flying across the living room, as she begins to boast.] "GLOAT! GLOAT BABY! YEAH!"
[Shiloh, now dizzy from the impact, shakes off his daze and sulks.]
[Back on the couch, Lynn, now sporting her GLOAT belt, is about to dig into some ice cream to celebrate, when she suddenly hears Shiloh sadly groaning outside. She opens the door to find a saddened Shiloh sitting on the porch steps, poking the ground with a stick.]
Lynn: "Hey Shiloh. You should uh... come inside and get more ice cream."
Shiloh: [sadly] "Nah. I don't deserve any." [throws his stick away]
Lynn: "What? Why would you say that?" [All Shiloh can do is just sigh, much to her dismay. Suddenly, she gets an idea.] "Hey. You wanna come bounce with me on the trampoline? After all this ice cream," [starts twerking] "I bet we could really rip some solid butt blasts."
Shiloh: "My butt could never blast as good as yours."
Lynn: "Okay... Well maybe we can--"
Shiloh: "It's okay, Lynn. You don't have to pretend you want to hang out with a BLOAT like me."
Lynn: "What are you talking about? What's a BLOAT?"
Shiloh: "Biggest Loser Of All Time. You said it yourself, you swept the competition, I lost every single event. I'm just gonna wait here for my mom to come get me."
[A now guilt-ridden Lynn just sighs, while looking down at her GLOAT belt. All Lynn can just do is groan in disappointment]
[The driveway; Lucy, Lana and Lola are playing The Settlers of Cat-Land]
Lynn: [while approaching them] "Guys! I think I broke Shiloh!"
Lucy: "In body, or spirit?"
Lynn: "Both! He thinks he's a big loser now because of me! I got so caught up in beating him that, I forgot he's just like a-a little kid! He looked up to me. Ugh! Why did I have to be such a jerk?! I've gotta fix this before Aunt Sharon comes to pick him up."
Lily: [offscreen] "Wheee!"
[camera pans over to Lily, who's happily bouncing on the trampoline]
Lana: "Uh, careful, Lily. Not too high."
Lola: "Yeah, we don't wanna get blamed if you fall off!" [Lana glares at her twin]
Lynn: "Wait! That gives me an idea! But I'm gonna need all your help."
[The front yard; Shiloh is still upset]
Lana: [offscreen while panting] "Shiloh, there you are!" [she then approaches her cousin] "Lily got herself stuck up in a tree, and Lynn sprained her ankle trying to rescue her! We need you!" [she grabs her cousin and takes him round the back yard] "Look!"
[Lily is indeed stuck up a tree, as Lynn, Lucy and Lola watch helplessly... that is until Lily starts laughing, revealing all of this is part of Lynn's plan]
Lynn: [offscreen] "Ahem!"
[Lynn signals some crying motions to Lily. Lily, realising what her older sister means by this, starts "crying"]
Lucy: [acting] "Oh no. The horror!"
[Shiloh watches helplessly, indicating that the plan is starting to work]
Lynn: [acting while "limping" over to Shiloh] "Shiloh! I'm injured! And we need someone to rescue Lily!"
[Camera pans over to Lincoln, who's watching the whole thing through the backdoor while eating a sandwich.]
Lincoln: "I'll do it!"
[Lincoln, being completely unaware of Lynn's plan, rushes over to save his youngest sister. Lola, not wanting him to ruin the plan, trips her older brother up.]
Lola: "Oh, no, that's okay!" [tosses Lincoln aside]
Lynn: "Thanks, Lincoln! But Shiloh's got this!" [punches Shiloh's arm]
Shiloh: "I don't think so. If you couldn't save Lily there's no way I can. I'm nothing special."
[Shiloh walks off in sadness, but Lynn stops him.]
Lynn: "You have to! There's no time to lose!"
[Pan over to Lily, who is happily playing with a butterfly, only for her to remember the plan and start crying again. Shiloh watches in fear, but then takes a deep breath as he prepares to save her.]
Shiloh: [now determined] "Hang on, Lily. I'll get you down!"
[Shiloh rushes over and jumps onto the trampoline. He grabs the tree branch and swings on it to build force, once he lets go, he grabs Lily and they both whizz around the tree trunk, before he lands, while making a pose with his cousin]
Lynn: ["limps" over to Shiloh] "That was amazing! I knew you could do it, Shi."
Shiloh: "Maybe I'm not such a BLOAT after all."
Lynn: "Are you kidding? You were doing things today I-I couldn't do until I was in like, like early pre-teens! By the time you're my age, I bet you'll have more GLOAT titles than I do."
Shiloh: "Really?! Thanks!" Well I am learning from the best!"
[The two of them perform their secret handshake.]
Lana: "This calls for a celebratory ice cream!" [rushes offscreen, with Lucy, Lola and Lily following]
Shiloh: [nudging Lynn] "Wanna see who could be the FLOAT?"
[Lynn turns to him in confusion]
Shiloh: "Fartiest Loud Of All Time!"
Lynn: "Oh-ho-ho!" [She and Shiloh fist bump] "You're on."
[As they run inside, Shiloh notices something off about Lynn.]
Shiloh: "Hey, you're not limping anymore."
Lynn: [upon realising what she's doing] "Uh... You know what... It comes and goes."
[Lynn then starts "limp running" as the two of them run off screen, ending the episode]
