The following is a transcript for the episode "The Loudest Mission: Relative Chaos".
[Episode begins with Vanzilla driving away.]
Lincoln: "Can't I just stay in the car?"
Lori: "No. You are saying goodbye to your girlfriend in person!"
Lincoln: "For the millionth time, Ronnie Anne is not my girlfriend! And it's not goodbye! They're only going away for the weekend."
Lori: [sobbing] "It might as well be forever. I don't know what I'll do without my Bobby Boo-Boo Bear!" [takes her hands off the wheel and covers her face.]
Lincoln: [grabs hold of the wheel and steers.] "Lori! Get it together, woman!"
[The Santiago's residence. Lori and Bobby are holding each other with Lori crying]
Bobby: "Here, babe. This is for you." [takes out a hoodie with a cat dressed as a businessman.] "I wore it all week under my uniform."
[A cat's meow sound is played.]
Lori: "Ah, Boo-Boo Bear." [embraces it] "It smells like love. And corndogs."
[As they both cry again, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne are watching them, having gotten tired of it.]
Ronnie Anne: [looks at her watch] "Ugh. It's been 20 minutes. I'm calling it."
[Lincoln nods in agreement and the two of them go up to their older siblings and try to pull them away, which proves to be a task with them holding each other tightly.]
Lincoln: [to Ronnie Anne while prying Lori] "So, are you excited to visit your grandparents?"
Ronnie Anne: [to Lincoln while prying Bobby] "Yeah. And my aunt and uncle, and their four kids. It's crazy. You'd like it."
Lincoln: "How are you gonna deal with it?"
Ronnie Anne: "It's only two days, then everything's back to normal."
Lori: [wailing] "TWO DAYS!!!"
[Lincoln and Ronnie Anne finally pry their older siblings away, but just as Lincoln is leaving while dragging Lori, she sticks herself in the doorframe.]
Lori: [devastated] "BOBBY!!!"
Bobby: [dejected] "LORI!!!"
Lori: "I'LL THINK OF YOU EVERY MINUTE!"
Bobby: "EVERY SECOND!"
[Lincoln pries out Lori and she runs back to Vanzilla crying while Bobby looks out the window downtrodden.]
Lincoln: "Well, have a nice trip."
Ronnie Anne: [punches Lincoln's shoulder playfully] "Smell you later, Lame-o."
Lincoln: [chuckles] "Not if I smell you first." [leaves]
[Ronnie Anne waves as she closes the door, Bobby walks away still sniveling over not seeing Lori, and Ronnie Anne's mother comes home.]
Maria: "Hi, sweetie." [hugs her daughter] "Oh, sorry I had to work a double shift again. I wish I didn't have to leave you on your own so much."
Ronnie Anne: "I don't mind. I mean, how many kids get to practice kick flips inside the-" [her mother looks at her suspiciously] "Uh, I'll get our bags."
Maria: [surprised] "You packed for us? How did I get so lucky with you?"
Ronnie Anne: "I also made us sandwiches and put a toy bag together for Bobby. You know how bored he gets in the car."
Bobby: [insulted and still sad] "You make me sound like a baby!" [sniffles] "Did you pack my sticker books?"
[In Great Lakes City, at the Casagrande Corner Market and Apartment, the Santiagos arrive.]
Maria: "We're here!"
Bobby: [with his face covered in stickers.] "Ho-ho! The bodega's looking good!"
Maria: "Are you ready to spend two wonderful days with your family?"
[Inside the building, grandpa Hector is taking decorations from apartment 2A to apartment 2B with his toddler Carlitos mimicking him. His wife Rosa comes out of 2B with a pot and Carlitos starts mimicking her.]
Rosa: "Hector, you were supposed to put up all the decorations this morning!"
Hector: "I was helping customers."
Rosa: "You were gossiping with the customers."
Hector: "I do not gossip! By the way, did you hear Vito Filliponio whitens his teeth?"
[As they take care of business, pet parrot Sergio comes out of 2B with a bone.]
Sergio: [squawks] "Too slow!"
[Big dog Lalo chases after the bird.]
Rosa: "Sergio! Give Lalo back his toy!"
[Enter only daughter Carlota with her hair all frizzy.]
Carlota: "Carl! Did you use all my hair product again?!"
[Enter self-proclaimed stud Carl.]
Carl: "This kind of handsome doesn't happen on its own."
[Carlota grabs Carl and starts rubbing his hair against hers.]
Carl: "STOP IT! YOU'RE SMOOSHING THE FLAIR!"
[Their mother Frida takes a picture of them fighting.]
Frida: [overjoyed] "I love seeing my babies play so sweetly." [gets tears in her eyes and sobs into the next apartment with Carlitos following and mimicking her.]
[Carl and Carlota fix their hair and go their separate ways. Enter one more kid named CJ wearing a cape.]
CJ: "I'm Super CJ!" [makes whooshing noises and pretends to fly with Carlitos mimicking that.]
[Enter the father Carlos reading a book.]
Carlos: "Okay, Super CJ, just watch where you're going." [walks into a wall] "Oof! Huh, whoopsie." [clears throat and reads his book.] "Ooh! Did you know that sea anemones glow when they're scared."
Carlota: "Dad, it's the weekend. You're not supposed to be doing professor stuff."
Carlos: "Oh, this isn't for work. It's just for fun."
Sergio: [squawks] "Nerd alert!"
Rosa: [hands Carlos a casserole dish] "Carlos, put this on the table for me, please."
[While Carlos is too busy reading his book, Lalo eats up the casserole which Carlitos imitates. CJ continues playing his superhero game.]
Frida: [with a curtain] "Where should we put this?"
[Everyone starts arguing about the arrangements.]
Casagrande's: "No no no!" / "Right here!" / "Why did we wait so long to do this?" / "They're gonna be here any second!"
CJ: [seeing someone] "Bobby!"
[The rest of the family gasps and CJ whooshes into Bobby's arms.]
Bobby: "CJ!" [catches CJ] "Oof! How ya doing, buddy? You grow anymore, and you're gonna have to carry me!"
[The rest of the Casagrande's take the Santiago's luggage while Ronnie Anne is with Rosa.]
Rosa: [pushes Ronnie Anne into her bosom.] "Oh, mija, I'm so happy I get to have you for two whole days!"
Ronnie Anne: [unenthusiastic with a fake smile] "Yay. Two whole days."
[In the apartment, a door is jutting.]
Hector: "There's room for your luggage in the hall closet." [opens the door and quickly tosses the luggage into the closet before it collapses.] "Plenty of room."
[In the living room, while the Casagrande's are getting things ready, Bobby gets some food from the table.]
Rosa: [gasps] "Roberto! You're all bones and skin!" [adds more to Bobby's plate] "Eat! Eat!"
[Bobby turns around and sees the parrot, much to his shock.]
Bobby: [scared] "Sergio..." [chuckles] "You're still alive."
[Sergio hisses at Bobby.]
Ronnie Anne: [laughs at Bobby] "Looks like your little buddy missed you."
[Lalo pounces on Ronnie Anne and starts licking her.]
Ronnie Anne: "Lalo, get off me!"
Bobby: [laughs at Ronnie Anne] "Looks like your little buddy missed you, too."
[Ronnie Anne gets Lalo off her and stands up with her hair sticking up from all that licking. As the kids leave, Frida and Maria are talking in the kitchen.]
Frida: "So, have you told the kids yet?"
Maria: [closes the kitchen shutters] "No. Not yet. And please keep it a secret."
Frida: "Ay, don't worry. I won't tell anyone."
Hector: [opens the shutter] "Are you talking about the secret?"
Frida: "I might have told Papa."
Rosa: "Hector! I said to be quiet about the secret!"
Frida: "And Mama."
CJ: "Are we talking about the secret?"
Frida: "Okay, I told everyone!" [chuckles guiltily]
Maria: "Guys, please don't say anything. I haven't found the right moment to talk to Bobby and Ronnie Anne. It would be such a big change. I want to make sure they're on board."
Frida: "I will help convince them."
Maria: "I appreciate it, but-"
Frida and CJ: "We'll all convince them!"
Hector: "Great idea!"
Rosa: "I will light my..." [holds up a candle with a decoration of Elvis on it.] "...special candle. It works every time."
[Maria looks nervous about this.]
Hector: "You guys are going to love all the changes we've made to the bodega."
Ronnie Anne: "As long as you still got those ice pops I like." [gets pulled away by Carlota] "Whoa!"
Carlota: "Ronnie Anne, you don't wanna go to the boring bodega. Ugh."
[Bobby opens the door]
Hector: "No, Bobby!" [closes the door] "There's a vicious new street gang in the neighborhood!" [notices Lalo whimpering] "Even Lalo is terrified of them!"
[Lalo shows his fear. Hector gets out a tin of sardines and opens it up. He opens the door and tosses the tin outside. At that moment, a pack of vicious cats starts tearing at the tin.]
Hector: "Now's our chance!"
[The boys run for the bodega.]
Bobby: "So, the gang has cats?"
Hector: "The gang is cats!"
[They enter the bodega safe and sound.]
Carlota: [looking through her wardrobe] "Check it out! I found some really cute dresses at the thrift store for you." [holds out two black blouses with yellow streaks.] "I even found two of these so we can match."
[Transition to them wearing the outfits which consist of the blouse, a matching top, matching shoes, a matching hat, and hoop earrings.]
Carlota: "Ooh! Now you're gonna get all the boys' attention."
Ronnie Anne: [uncomfortable with the new look] "Uh, Carlota, this isn't really my-"
Carlota: [holding perfume] "Here. This covers up the moth ball smell." [sprays Ronnie Anne who coughs from the fumes.] "Wouldn't it be fun if we could do this everyday?"
Ronnie Anne: "That would be kinda hard since we live in different states."
[Frida takes a picture of the girls bonding.]
Frida: [excited] "Oh my gosh." [chuckles] "You two already look like sisters." [breaks out into tears]
Ronnie Anne: [confused] "Wait. What?"
Carlota: "Oh, hey, hey! I have a fun idea." [gets out some kind of papery substance.] "Let's wax our legs!"
[Ronnie Anne grasps her leg in fear.]
[The Bodega. CJ is playing around with the door which causes the bell to go off.]
CJ: "Look, Bobby! We got a new bell!" [closes door]
Hector: "Okay, CJ, let's not wear it out. It cost me $12."
Bobby: "Grandpa! I love what you've done with the place, but have you ever considered putting the milk in the rear of the store? Then, other people would buy other things on their way to it. It's called "impulse shopping". I learned that at my supermarket job."
Hector: "You're a genius!"
Carl: [scoffs] "Yeah, but can he do..." [grabs a watermelon, struggles to hold it, and lifts it up feebly.] "...THIS?!" [gives in and drops the watermelon on top of him while struggling to get up.] "LOOK AWAY!"
Carlos: [reading his book] "Did you know that male seahorses are the ones who give birth? Look at that."
[Back in the apartment, Ronnie Anne leaves Carlota's room after having her leg waxed.]
Ronnie Anne: [limping] "Ow, ow, ow."
Carlitos: [imitating] "Ow, ow, ow, ow."
Ronnie Anne: [from the kitchen window] "Shh, Carlitos! I'm just getting a snack. We don't want grandma to find out."
[Ronnie Anne closes the kitchen shutters, opens the fridge and gets an apple, but when she closes the fridge, Rosa suddenly appears as if Lucy would.]
Ronnie Anne: [startled] "Aah!"
Rosa: "I always know when someone in my house is hungry."
[Rosa sits Ronnie Anne down at the table for food.]
Ronnie Anne: "But, but-"
Rosa: "Sit." [sits Ronnie Anne down and puts out the kitchenware and some food for her granddaughter.] "Don't you wish Grandma could cook for you everyday?"
Ronnie Anne: "It'd be great, but by the time it got to Royal Woods, it would be a little cold."
Rosa: [having misheard that] "What?! You've got a cold? You know what really opens up the sinuses? Hot sauce!"
[She pours the sauce on Ronnie Anne's food, and it causes a miniature explosion.]
[Back at the bodega, Bobby is dealing with a customer who did a little impulse shopping.]
Customer: "I just came here for milk. How did I spend $150?" [takes his groceries and leaves.]
Hector: "That milk trick really worked! You are a natural!" [hugs his grandson] "You'll be running this store in no time!"
Bobby: [suspicious] "Wait. What?"
Hector: [changing the subject] "I mean, did you hear Vito Filliponio whitens his teeth?"
[Back in the apartment, Ronnie Anne is stuffed from Rosa's food.]
Ronnie Anne: [nauseous] "Ugh...I think I have a stomachache."
Rosa: "I have an old Casagrande remedy for that: lick your finger..." [licks her finger] "...and put it in your bellybutton."
Ronnie Anne: [not wanting that and putting her sweater down.] "I'm suddenly feeling better!"
Carlota: "Ronnie Anne!" [comes into the living room] "I just had another great idea. Let's pierce your ears!" [holds out the tweezers and piercing gun.]
Rosa: "Not now! She's eating!"
Frida: "Okay, smile with your eyes!" [takes another photo and looks at it] "Ronnie Anne blinked. One more!"
Carlota: "Now now, Mom! I'm about to pierce her bellybutton!"
Ronnie Anne: "Wait! You said ears!"
Rosa: "She's not done eating!"
Frida: "I only need two seconds. Come on!"
[While the Casagrande ladies are arguing, Ronnie Anne ducks out and goes to the sofa to relax, opens a magazine and sighs with relief.]
Sergio: [squawks] "Showtime!"
[The Casagrande's suddenly arrive and sit down.]
Ronnie Anne: "Uh...what's happening?"
Carlota: "Ooh! Our show's on! The Dream Boat!"
Bobby: [joins in] "This is Lori's favorite show. And so it's mine, too."
Announcer: "Next on the Dream Boat, who will Karen send overboard tonight?"
[Brock, Bryant, and Blaine are showcased.]
Carlota: "Ugh. I hope it's Brock. He has no style."
[Everyone starts arguing over that statement.]
Frida: [takes a picture of the argument; to Ronnie Anne.] "Oh, sweetie, wouldn't it be nice if we could do this everyday?"
Ronnie Anne: "Why does everyone keep saying that?"
[Lalo jumps onto the sofa and Ronnie Anne while the others in the sofa have made room for the big dog.]
Ronnie Anne: "I have to go to the bathroom." [pulls herself free from Lalo and goes.]
[The bathroom. Ronnie Anne is getting some peace and quiet with her magazine, but the family starts coming in unannounced.]
Carlota: "Ronnie Anne, you missed it! Blaine walked the plank."
Frida: "How much do you love the show?"
Rosa: "Who do you think Karen will pick tomorrow night?"
Hector: "It'd better be Brock!"
Bobby: "He doesn't deserve her!"
[They all start arguing again.]
[Later that night, Ronnie Anne is sleeping in the guest bed with Maria, who tosses and turns on her. Ronnie Anne grabs her pillow and goes to sleep on the sofa.]
Ronnie Anne: [exhales] "Finally, some peace and quiet."
[At that moment, a train sounds its horn and passes by the building, leaving a loud sound and some rattling in the apartment. Ronnie Anne sighs and tries to get some sleep, but the cat gang starts meowing and she shuts the window to shut the noise up. But then, she finds Lalo has taken the sofa while she was up.]
Ronnie Anne: [irritated] "Really, Lalo?"
[She tries to push him off to no avail, takes her pillow (which wakes him up) , finds Bobby sleeping in an awkward position on his bed, opens the closet, gets piled underneath the junk, goes to the bathroom to sleep in the bathtub and opens up the curtain to find Sergio who squawks at and startles her.]
Sergio: "I'm naked!"
[Ronnie Anne closes the bathtub curtain, goes under the table, and sighs as she goes to sleep.]
[The next morning, another train goes by and everyone's having breakfast.]
Bobby: "This weekend's gone by so fast. I'm really gonna miss everybody."
[Ronnie Anne smiles that at least she'll be going home soon.]
Bobby: "Yes-huh, CJ. I'm gonna miss you."
CJ: "Nuh-uh. 'Cause you're not leaving ever! Mom said so! As a secret!"
Ronnie Anne: [baffled] "Wait. We're not leaving? Mom, what is CJ talking about?"
Maria: "Okay. Well, here goes. Ronnie Anne, Bobby...I've been thinking about this for a long time. I hate that you guys have to be alone so much, and we have this great family here. So, when I found out that I could get a job at the city hospital, I thought maybe we could move here?" [beat] "What do you guys think?"
[Ronnie Anne drops her spoon from hearing that.]
Ronnie Anne: [flabbergasted] "But, but...where would we even stay?"
Rosa: "You can live with us! We have plenty of room!"
Bobby: "That sounds awesome! Maybe I could work at the bodega!"
Hector: "You can take over the bodega. I mean, after I retire."
Carl: "And after I retire. Until then, you work for me."
Rosa: "This calls for a celebration. A moving in party! I will make a feast and a giant cake!"
[The others are all in agreement with this decision and Frida takes another photo of Ronnie Anne, who looks on distraught and dismayed.]
Lincoln: [shocked from hearing the news] "You're WHAT?!"
[He's talking to Ronnie Anne on video chat.]
Ronnie Anne: "Believe me. It's not my idea."
Lincoln: "Well, did you tell your family you don't want to?"
Ronnie Anne: "They're not gonna listen to me. It's ten against one."
Lincoln: "I've been there before. Well, don't worry. You've called the right person."
Ronnie Anne: "I know. Put Lori on."
[Lincoln, disappointed he's not the one she wanted help from, puts Lori, who is wearing the businesscat hoodie, on video chat.]
Lori: "Hey, Ronnie Anne. What's up?"
[Cut to outside the Loud House after she hears the unfortunate news.]
Lori: [furious] "YOU'RE WHAT?!" [starts driving all the way to the Casagrande's] "I don't know what Bobby's thinking, but I am gonna tell him what he should be thinking!"
[Lincoln is with her.]
Lincoln: "I still don't get why I have to come along."
Lori: [rioting] "BECAUSE RONNIE ANNE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!!"
Lincoln: "She is not my girlfriend!"
Lori: "Lincoln, we are literally crossing a bridge. Do you really want to get into an argument WITH ME RIGHT NOW?!" [makes an intimidating face to her brother.]
[Lincoln realizes just how furious his oldest sister is and just stops.]
[Back at the Casagrande's, Rosa is finishing up the cake and everyone else except Ronnie Anne is getting ready. She hears Lincoln and Lori drive up and is happy to see them.]
Ronnie Anne: [acting] "Oh, I wonder who that could be. I'll just let them in."
[She presses the buzzer, hears Lincoln and Lori knock, and lets them in, however, they seem slightly torn up.]
Lincoln: [coming in] "Did you guys know there's a vicious gang of cats trying to get in here?"
[Lalo whimpers in fear. Carl notices Lori and pretends to have done a lot of one-armed push-ups.]
Carl: [feigning] "Five thousand-" [sees Lori] "Oh. How embarrassing. I didn't see you guys walk in."
Ronnie Anne: [ignoring Carl] "Anyway, this is Lori, Bobby's girlfriend." [hearing that last part upsets Carl] "And this is Lincoln."
Frida: [excited] "Your boyfriend!" [takes a photo of them]
[Lincoln and Ronnie Anne speak in unison while nervously sweating.]
Lincoln: "No, I'm not!"
Ronnie Anne: "No, he's not!" [introducing the Casagrande's to the Loud's] "This is my mom's brother, Carlos, his wife, Frida, their kids Carlota, CJ, Carl, and Carlitos, and my grandma and grandpa. Anyway, Lori, you must really miss Bobby. He's in the bodega. Let's go." [takes Lori to the bodega, leaving Lincoln with the rest of the family.]
Rosa: "Lincoln, after such a long drive, you must be famished."
Lincoln: "I could eat."
[In the bodega, Bobby is labeling the items prices with a pricing gun, with his face covered in price tags. Enter his sister and girlfriend.]
Ronnie Anne: "Bobby, look! It's your beautiful, devoted girlfriend. She came all this way to see you." [leaves the two of them alone.]
Bobby: "Wow, babe, this is the best day ever. First, I get a sticker gun, and now you're here?"
Lori: [serious tone] "Bobby, what is all this about you moving away!?"
Bobby: "I know it may seem like a shock, but don't worry. I have everything figured out. My grandpa said I could work in the bodega with him, and this place is really rad. Let me show you around. You're gonna love where I put the milk." [takes her]
Lori: [stammering over his talking.] "But-but-but..." [gets pulled into the tour.]
[Lori now has price tags on her face.]
Ronnie Anne: "What do you mean you didn't convince him?"
Lori: "He talked about the bodega for 40 minutes until the beef jerky guy showed up, and at that point, I had literally reached my limit."
Ronnie Anne: [sighs and ponders] "We need to do something to get Bobby's attention."
[Flashback to her wearing those outfits with Carlota.]
Carlota: "Ooh! Now you're gonna get all the boys' attention."
Ronnie Anne: [gasps] "I know!" [grabs and pulls Lori's arm.]
Lori: "What is with this family and the arm pulling?"
[Lincoln has just finished Rosa's food and is feeling bloated.]
Lincoln: [pats his belly and groans nauseously.] "I think I ate too much."
[Enter CJ acting like a pirate.]
CJ: "Hey, Lincoln, wanna play Pirates?"
Lincoln: "Aw, I'd love to play Pirates, CJ, but I have a stomachache."
Rosa: "I can take care of that." [licks her finger and puts it in Lincoln's bellybutton.]
Lincoln: "What are you-" [suddenly feels better] "Oh." [to CJ] "Let's do this!" [starts playing with CJ] "En garde!"
[As they play, Ronnie Anne comes back and grabs Carlota and takes her to Lori.]
Ronnie Anne: "I need you to do a makeover."
Carlota: [cheers] "Finally! We'll start by throwing out all of these clothes." [tugs on her cousin's clothes] "I usually donate, but nobody is gonna want these."
Ronnie Anne: "Not me, her!" [referring to Lori]
[Lori waves to Carlota.]
Carlota: "Oh. See, I didn't mean that. You have just a really...unique look. It's sorta rugged, yet-"
Ronnie Anne: [irritated and fed up] "Dude, move on."
[In the bodega, while Bobby is stocking some of the fruit, Carl takes a peanut out of his pocket and hits Bobby with it. Bobby turns and Carl whistles casually. As Bobby walks off, Lori comes in with an all new look, which catches Carl's eye.]
Carl [infatuated on a stool] "Va-va-voom! Bonita chiquita! Forget about Bobby. You're too beautiful for him. You're a ten! He's a four."
Lori: "You're very cute, but I really need to talk to Bobby."
Carl: "Ah, playing hard to get? Challenge accepted. You will be the gazelle, and I will be the puma." [roars playfully and then trips over the store, knocking over the flour and covering Lori in it.]
Bobby: "Whoa, babe! Are you okay?" [notices the mess] "Uh...I'm gonna have to charge you for that flour."
[Lori looks annoyed by that.]
Ronnie Anne: [pounds her fist on the table.] "We need a new plan, and fast."
Lori: "But what?"
[A promo for the Dram Boat finale comes on.]
Announcer: "Tune in tonight for the finale of the Dream Boat. Can Bryant keep hope afloat with his one-on-one dinghy date with Karen? Or will it be man overboard?"
Sergio: [squawks] "Dinghy date!"
[This gives Lori and Ronnie Anne an idea.]
[On the rooftop, Lori, dressed in a sailor get-up, brings a blindfolded Bobby up and he takes the blindfold off.]
Lori: "Ta-da!" [shows him a replica of the dinghy date.] "A one-on-one dinghy date. Sort of."
Bobby: "Wow. Just like the Dream Boat. It's so romantic, babe."
Lori: "I know. Because we're so romantic. I mean, we literally have such a great connection. Don't you think?"
Bobby: "Totally. And I was gonna tell you-"
Delivery Guy: "HELP!"
[Bobby sees that the delivery guy's cargo is being attacked by the cat gang.]
Delivery Guy: "Ay, my mangoes!"
Bobby: "My mango guy's in trouble! I'm sorry, babe. Bodega business calls."
[He leaves and Lori sighs with disappointment.]
[Ronnie Anne and Lori sneak into her grandparents' room.]
Ronnie Anne: "You keep an eye out for my grandma." [checks under the bed and finds a case.] "She's got cures and potions for everything. There must be something for clueless boyfriends. Hmm." [holds up a bottle in a heart-shaped vale.] "This looks interesting."
[Later, they have a cookie with Bobby's name on it and Ronnie Anne dabs the love potion on it with a heart-shaped smoke cloud coming out.]
Ronnie Anne: "Remember, it's very important that you're the first person Bobby sees after he eats this."
Lori: "Got it."
[Outside the bodega, Lori goes to Bobby who is sweeping the area, sneaks up behind him and gives the OK to Ronnie Anne.]
Lori: [feigning casualty] "Hi, Boo-Boo Bear. I thought you might be hungry. I baked you a cookie."
Bobby: "Oh, chocolate chip! Score!"
[Enter another customer]
Vito: "Uh, excuse me. Can you tell me where you put the milk?" [smiles with his teeth giving off a gleam.]
Bobby: "You must be Vito."
Vito: "How did you know?"
Bobby: "Uh, just a lucky guess." [to Lori] "One sec, babe. I gotta help this customer." [goes to help Vito]
[Both Lori and Ronnie Anne groan in complete frustration and Sergio comes flying out the window, snatches the cookie off the plate, eats it, and sees Bobby.]
Bobby: "Alright, Mr. Filliponio, have a great rest of your day."
[Vito leaves with a big smile on his face. Bobby turns and sees Sergio eyeing him romantically.]
Sergio: [under the power of the love cookie; squawks passionately.] "Who's the hunk? Hubba, hubba!"
[Bobby doesn't like the sound of that and runs away with Sergio in hot pursuit.]
[Lori is dragging Lincoln by his arm.]
Lincoln: "We're leaving? But Mrs. Casagrande's baking a cake!"
Lori: [heartbroken] "Lincoln, I literally just lost my boyfriend." [angrily] "Do you really wanna argue with me right now?"
[Enter Bobby covered in feathers thanks to Sergio.]
Bobby: "Babe, where are you going?"
Lori: [furious] "What do you care? Why don't you just go back to your precious bodega? You obviously care about it more than you care about me!" [starts sobbing]
Lincoln: "I'm just gonna go help Mrs. Casagrande with the frosting." [chuckles and rushes back into the apartment.]
Ronnie Anne: "Lincoln, what's happening out there?"
Lincoln: "I don't know. But it was too much drama for me."
Ronnie Anne: [notices something] "Wait a minute. They're hugging, and Lori's smiling. She must have finally convinced him! Yes!"
[Lori comes back in and Ronnie Anne comes running up to her.]
Ronnie Anne: "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" [hugs Lori] "I knew we could do this! I'll go pack up my stuff."
Lori: [sheepishly] "Uh, actually..."
Ronnie Anne: [not happy] "What?"
Lori: "I know I came here to convince Bobby not to move, but after talking to him, I think he should stay."
Ronnie Anne: [aghast] "After he totally forgot about you?"
Lori: "But he didn't. He's actually been thinking really hard about how we can make this work. We'll only be apart for a year, and then we can both go to the college here where your Uncle Carlos teaches."
Ronnie Anne: "Well, that's great for you guys, but what about me? Lincoln, come on, help me out here."
Lincoln: [licking the leftover frosting on the whisk.] "I don't know, Ronnie Anne. I think your family's pretty awesome." [licks the frosting again] "I mean, who can make a cake like this?"
Ronnie Anne: [smacks the whisk out of Lincoln's hand.] "UGH!" [stomps away]
[Later that night, Ronnie Anne is sitting outside on the steps upset that nothing worked.]
Maria: [comes outside] "Are you okay, honey? Lincoln said you were out here."
Ronnie Anne: "Mom, I don't wanna move. I like my life back home. I have my own room. I can do my own thing. Here, I can't even go to the bathroom without an audience."
Maria: "I know it would be an adjustment, but think how nice it would be to be part of a big family, and they all love you so much."
Ronnie Anne: "I love them, too. I just..." [makes big pleading eyes]
Maria: "Honey, I would never make you move if you didn't want to. I really wanted this to feel like home for you, but if it doesn't, it doesn't. Why don't you pack up while I break the news?"
Ronnie Anne: "Thanks for understanding, mom."
[They hug and step back into the building, but they forgot to close the door with a note attached to it.]
DON'T FORGET TO LOCK THE DOOR!
[At that moment, the cat gang sees this as an opportunity. Ronnie Anne runs to the closet to get her things, but to her surprise, it's been converted into her own room, just like Lincoln's.]
Carlos: "So, what do you think?"
[Frida takes a photo of Ronnie Anne in her new room.]
Ronnie Anne: "What is this?"
Carlos: "Well, we thought you might need a space of your own."
Carl: [referring to the skateboards and skateboarding posters.] "I put those up. And if you ever wanna go skating, I have been known to shred like a boss."
Carlota: "And I picked out some hoodies for you. We'll work our way up to dresses."
Hector: "And I stocked the fridge with those ice pops you like." [shows her a mini-fridge with them in it.] "You can pay me back later."
Rosa: [nudges her husband for that last statement and holds up an incense container.] "I cleansed the room of evil spirits." [holds up a container of bug spray.] "And spiders."
Frida: [showing her photos] "And I hung some pictures of our beautiful family." [points to a specific one] "I even put up one of you and your boyfriend."
[Lincoln and Ronnie Anne deny in unison.]
Lincoln: "I'm not her boyfriend!"
Ronnie Anne: "He's not my boyfriend!"
CJ: [holding up a sign] "And I made this. It says Ronnie Anne's Room: Keep out!" [gives it to her]
Ronnie Anne: [touched] "Wow, guys. This is incredible. I don't know what to say."
Maria: "Don't worry, honey. I'll handle it. I'm sorry, everyone, but I think we're going to-"
Ronnie Anne: [interrupting] "Need more snacks for the moving in party!"
Rosa: [screams in a panic] "THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH SNACKS?! I AM SO EMBARRASSED!"
[The others, Lincoln and Lori go to help with the snacks while Maria and Ronnie Anne stay behind.]
Maria: "So, you wanna stay?" [Ronnie Anne nods] "What changed your mind?"
Ronnie Anne: "You're right, Mom. It is gonna be an adjustment, but maybe it will be nice being part of a big family. Especially this one."
[They hug again, but the precious moment is cut when a thud is heard.]
Ronnie Anne and Maria: [horrified] "Oh no. WE LEFT THE DOOR OPEN!"
[Lalo hears it and the cats barge into the apartment much to the dog's horror. They shred up Carlos and go after the others. Rosa and Carlota attack with brooms, but the cats get them and they run away. Lincoln and CJ attack with their pirate play. The cats strip Hector of his pants, revealing he wears chili pepper boxers.]
Bobby: [notices them] "Grandpa, sick boxers!" [takes his pants off revealing a pair of his own.] "We should sell them at the bodega!"
Hector: "Great idea!"
Frida: [screaming and taking a quick photo.] "I'M ALLERGIC ON TOP OF EVERYTHING!!!" [wails]
[The cats chase Lalo who runs under the table and knocks the cake into the air.]
The Casagrande's: "THE CAKE!"
Ronnie Anne: [runs in] "I've got it!" [catches it]
[The Casagrande's sigh with relief, but the cats pass Ronnie Anne, making her trip and drop the cake on her. The cats head out the door and Maria shuts it just as they're all gone. Ronnie Anne is covered in frosting. Lalo licks her and everyone laughs at that. Ronnie Anne joins in on the laughter.]
[The next day, Lori and Bobby are hugging farewell.]
Lori: "I'm really gonna miss you, Boo-Boo Bear, but I'm so excited about our future together."
Bobby: "Me too, babe. I'll be counting down the days until I see you again."
Carl: [hugging Lori's legs] "As will I."
Bobby: [chuckles] "Carl, could we have a minute?"
Carl: "Fine. But remember, my gazelle, if he ever mistreats you..." [opens his jacket and reveals a tattoo of Lori on his stomach labeled "Mi Amor."] "...this puma will be ready to pounce!"
Carlota: [angrily off-screen] "WHO USED UP ALL OF MY LIMITED EDITION BLACK EYELINER?!"
Carl: [covers himself up and chuckles sheepishly.] "Gotta run!" [goes back inside]
[Lori and Bobby chuckle at that little moment and hug one more time. Lincoln is getting his and Lori's stuff into Vanzilla.]
Lincoln: [to Ronnie Anne] "So, I guess this is goodbye."
Ronnie Anne: [holds her fist out] "Yeah. Smell you later, lame-o."
[Lincoln flinches at the possible punch, and then Ronnie Anne hugs him instead, and he hugs her back.]
Lincoln: "Whoa. You've never hugged me before."
Ronnie Anne: "Don't get used to it."
[Lincoln prepares to leave but stops.]
Lincoln: "Oh, before I go, here's something that might help you out. It always helps me." [whispers it into Ronnie Anne's ear.]
Ronnie Anne: "Really?"
Lincoln: "Trust me."
[Later that night, in her room with Lalo, Ronnie Anne is enjoying an ice pop.]
Ronnie Anne: [to the viewers] "Well, things are definitely gonna be different for me. My whole family just quadrupled in size. My backyard is now a fire escape, and I definitely need a lock for that bathroom door. It's gonna be quite an adventure, but I'm up for it. Huh. Lincoln was right. It does help talking to you guys."
Sergio: [squawks] "Dream Boat!"
Ronnie Anne: "Ooh! Guess our show's on. Gotta run!" [hops on Lalo] "Giddy up, Lalo!"
[Lalo carries her off to watch the show while Sergio looks at a picture of Bobby.]
Sergio: [looks at a picture of Bobby, still under the cookie's spell; squawks.] "I meant Bobby." [grabs a photo of Bobby and flies off.]
[Rosa closes her door and opens up her dresser which has pictures of the Santiago's and her Elvis candle.]
Rosa: "I told them my candle works every time." [blows it out, fading the episode out.]
The end credits start playing.
Cramped inside this tiny space
May sound bad but ain't the case
In the Loud House (Loud House)
Duck and dodge and push and shove
That's the way we show our love
In the Loud House (Loud House)
Yes, the Loud House
We got laundry piles stacked up high
Hand-me-downs that make me cry
Stand in line to take a pee
Never any privacy
Chaos with eleven kids
That's the way
It always is
In the Loud House
| v - e - d The Loud House episode transcripts
| v - e - d The Casagrandes episode transcripts