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The following is a transcript for the episode "The Loudest Thanksgiving".
Script
Act I
[The episode begins with a leaf gently falling down the sky as the camera pans down to Flip's Food & Fuel. Flip gets his dinner out of the microwave and turns towards the audience.]
Flip: "Hey there, happy holidays to you. Make yourselves comfy 'cause ol' Flip's got a Thanksgiving tale to tell ya." [slurps a Flippee] "Aah. Twas the day before Thanksgiving, and the Loud and Casagrande families were getting ready for the big shabang."
[Fade transition to the Loud House as Lori gets the groceries out of the trunk of Vanzilla while chatting with Bobby.]
Lori: "OMG, Boo-Boo Bear, I am so excited for turkey day."
Bobby: "Me too. We haven't spent it with the Casagrandes in like five years. When we lived in Royal Woods, Mom always had to work the Thanksgiving shift at the hospital."
[Flashback to Bobby and Ronnie Anne eating their meals at the hospital with glum expressions and Maria approaches them with what appears to be blood on her face and outfit. The two siblings scream in terror and Bobby passes out.]
Maria: "Oh, this is just cranberry sauce. I tripped on the way over."
[End flashback]
Bobby: "It wasn't great, but I was always up to date on my booster shots."
Lori: [laughs] "Hey, Bobby, check out all the cool stuff my family's doing for Thanksgiving." [Enters her house and closes the front door. She then sees Lynn adjusting a pair of baggy pants.]
Bobby: "Hey, Lynn."
Lynn: "Sup, Bobby."
Bobby: "Digging the new look."
Lynn: [chuckles] "These are not for fashion, they are my pee pants. This way, I don't have to miss any of the meal or the football game by running to the bathroom like a chump. Test run!" [runs to the kitchen]
Bobby: "Is she gonna pee her pants?"
Lynn: [She grabs some chicken stock from the counter and pours it down her pants.] "Aah." [tests it out by wiggling her hips while Lori looks cringed.] "Mmm. Noice! Dry as a bone." [walks away]
Lynn Sr.: [at the stove] "So much for my chicken stock."
Lori: [sets the groceries on the counter] "How's the turkey coming, Dad?"
Lynn Sr.: "Ha, turkeys are for amateurs, Lori-lou, I'm making a turgooseon." [Cuts to the turgooseon in the oven.] "A pigeon stuffed inside a goose, stuffed inside a turkey. Three times the bird, three times the deliciousness."
Bobby: "Ooh."
Sergio: [flies past squawking] "Triple homicide."
Lori: [sees what's inside the pot] "Ooh, mashed potatoes~."
[Just then, the twins pop up with sunglasses.]
Lola & Lana: "Scram!"
[Lori gets startled and falls to the floor.]
Lana: "Nice try, sister, but as officers of the Feast Force, it's our job to protect this food till tomorrow."
Lori: "I was just-"
Lola: "We said scram!"
[Lori scurries off and the twins fist bump each other.]
Lynn Sr.: "Where were you two when Lynn took my chicken stock?"
[Lola growls at him and he flinches.]
Bobby: "Babe, we got a lot cooking on our end too."
Lori: "Oh, show me."
Bobby: [He walks to the kitchen where a plate of tamales is shown on the stove.] "Oh, I wish you could smell Abuela's famous tamales." [sniffs one]
[Rosa enters through the kitchen shutters and smacks Bobby's hand with a wooden spoon.]
Bobby: "Ow!"
Rosa: "No, Roberto, there are only enough tamales for dinner."
[A bunch of piles of different flavored tamales are shown as a horn blares. Carlitos pops in waving a spatula, startling Bobby and he crawls out of the kitchen.]
Bobby: "Abuela doesn't need guards. She's her own one-woman Feast Force."
[Lori laughs and sees Lincoln and Leni, who is holding a pillow.]
Leni: "Here's your pass-out pillow, Lincoln." [gives Lincoln the pillow.]
Lori: "Oh, every year, Lincoln eats so much turkey, he falls asleep at the table and misses dessert."
Lincoln: "But not this year. I've got a plan." [picks up a bucket of ice water.] "If I start to feel sleepy, I'll just dip my head in this bucket of ice water, like so." [dunks his face in the bucket but screams at the cold texture of the ice.] "Need a new plan!" [runs off, throwing the bucket aside.]
[Cut to Bobby approaching the Casagrande living room and sees Frida behind an easel and Carlos is dressed like a yellow pepper reading a book.]
Frida: "Carlos, put the book down. I need to see your eyes."
[Carlos groans and closes his book.]
Bobby: "Tia Frida paints a family portrait every year, and this year's theme is "Emotionally Raw Vegetables"." [Carlota puts a corn costume on Bobby's head.] "Huh?"
Carlota: "How's the fit?"
Bobby: "Uh, a little tight."
Carlota: "I can make some alterations." [takes it off him]
[Just then, an acoustic guitar is heard playing.]
Lori: "Ooh, is someone playing guitar?"
Bobby: "That's Abuelo. He serenades the family every year at Thanksgiving."
Hector: "Let me just tune my guitar. Sergio, give me a G."
Sergio: [squawks] "G~."
[Hector attempts to tune it but a string breaks loose, startling him. He turns toward Bobby and the teen just grins. Scene wipes to Bobby entering the bodega.]
Bobby: "The Mercado does a canned food drive every year."
[Camera pans to Ronnie Anne and CJ doing the said food drive.]
CJ: "I call it "Yes, we can"."
Lori: "Very clever, CJ."
Ronnie Anne: "And now that I'm joining him, we're gonna double last year's donations." [notices something] "CJ, look, it's Mr. Park. He hasn't donated yet."
CJ: "Get him!"
[He and Ronnie Anne run past Bobby and out of the bodega. Cut to Lori in her room on her bed.]
Lisa: [offscreen] "Wait, come back, GravyBot!"
GravyBot: [enters the room and approaches Lori.] "Gravy?"
Lori: "Excuse you?" [GravyBot squirts gravy all over Lori's bed.] "Gaaah!" [glares at the bot]
Lisa: [runs inside] "Apologies, first born sibling, [pushes the bot away] just doing a test run with GravyBot, the robot I built to ensure equal gravy distribution. I'll send in Clean-Up-Bot."
Lori: "No! [wipes the gravy off her knees.] No more bots! I got it."
[Lisa shrugs and leaves the room.]
Bobby: "Your Thanksgiving looks awesome, babe."
Lori: "So does yours." [sighs] "I just wish we could spend it together."
Bobby: "Me too."
[Cut to Lincoln walking out of the bathroom and appears to has taped his eyelids opened.]
Lincoln: "This ought to keep me awake till dessert." [suddenly hears Lori]
Lori: "Wait, why can't we be together?" [Lincoln leans in outside her door to listen.] "What if I came to the city to spend Thanksgiving with your fam?"
[Lincoln's eyes go wide, making the tape on his eyelids fly off and gasps.]
Bobby: "Or I could come to Royal Woods to be with your family."
[Hector is at the guitar strings display when he overhears this.]
Hector: "What?!" [He grows suspicious and sneaks off to listen.]
Lori: "Hmm, both sound great. You decide."
Bobby: "Aw, babe, I can't do decisions. You know how I get in restaurants when they ask, 'Booth or table?'" [Hector accidentally knocks a bunch of cans off the shelf with his arm and runs off to avoid being seen.] "Uh-oh, I'll call you back tonight. I think something fell in the bleach-cat food-guitar strings aisle." [goes to check it out]
[Later, the Louds and Casagrandes, except Bobby and Lori, are each having a meeting in Lincoln and Ronnie Anne's rooms.]
Louds & Casagrandes (minus Leni): "They're thinking of doing what?!"
Rita: "No one in our family has ever missed a Thanksgiving."
Maria: "But we're all finally together."
Hector: "What if Bobby likes it so much at the Loud's, that he wants to spend Christmas there too?!"
Lynn Sr.: "First, it's Thanksgiving, next thing you know, we lose her for every holiday."
Lincoln: "Guys, we still have time. They haven't decided where to go."
Ronnie Anne: "Maybe if we can show Bobby how much he'd be missed-"
CJ: "He won't wanna leave."
Lucy: "Maybe if we can convince Lori that leaving would be a grave mistake."
Louds & Casagrandes: "Let's do this!"
[Later, Lori is channel surfing in the living room when the front door knocks. She gets up and answers it to find a note attached to the door.]
Lori: "Hmm. Meet in the kitchen?"
[She walks into the kitchen to find the fridge locked with a confused expression until she gets startled by Lola.]
Lola: "You got our note."
[Lola scoots in and pushes the foot pedal of the trash can to let Lana out.]
Lana: "Still hungry?"
[Lola undoes the lock and they open up the fridge with tons of food stored inside.]
Lori: "Ooh."
Lana: "Go ahead, have a little taste. We won't say anything."
Lori: [suspicious] "Wait a minute. Is this a trap? This seems like a trap."
Lola: [feigning innocence] "No way. We would never trap our favorite sister. Oldest and most important."
Lori: "Yeah, I literally am."
[Lori walks out of the kitchen with some feast food and Leni notices her walking by in the living room while measuring Lynn, along with Luna, Lincoln, and Lily in a turkey costume.]
Leni: "Lori, there you are. Come here for a sec." [Lori quickly hides her food and enters the living room.] "I was just doing the costume fittings for our turkey-pardoning skit. [to Lynn] Quick, bring judge Lori her robe." [smiles widely]
Lynn: [Dashes off and puts said robe on Lori.] "Here you go, your honor."
Lincoln: [holding Lily up] "And here's our new turkey. Aren't you excited, Lily? We've all been pardoned by Lori, and now it's your turn."
[Lily cutely gobbles like a turkey.]
Lori: [adored] "Awwww."
Luna: "Can you dudes imagine a Thanksgiving skit without our rad judge? I sure can't."
Lynn: "Me neither. She's our MVP."
Lori: [suspicious again] "Why are you guys acting so weird?"
Lincoln: "Us? Weird? Whaaaat?"
Rita: [offscreen] "Oh, Lori!"
[Lori dashes off to the dining room and the three sisters give a thumbs up to Lincoln. Rita is seen hanging up some decorations.]
Rita: "I was just hanging all the hand turkeys you kids have made over the years, and I came across the one that started it all." [Takes down one to show that it is the hand turkey Lori made back in kindergarten.]
Lori: "Aww, my kindergarten turkey."
Rita: "Look at that. All eleven of my turkeys up there, together." [showing a wee bit of insanity] "One big, happy family, [takes Lori's hand] the way it's always been, [squeezes Lori's hand] and hopefully always will be."
Lori: [scared] "Mom, you're hurting my hand."
[Meanwhile at the Casagrande apartment, Rosa is holding a plate of buñuelos and has the aroma go under Bobby's door. Once she hears his door opening, she quickly runs back to the kitchen and Bobby smells the aroma, having him walk into the kitchen.]
Rosa: [acting] "Roberto, I didn't know you were home!"
Bobby: "Do I smell...?" [sniffs again]
Rosa: "My buñuelos? Why, yes."
Bobby: "They're my all-time favorite!"
Rosa: "They are? Huh, I didn't remember. Please, have one."
Bobby: [takes one but grows suspicious] "Wait, didn't you tell me before I wasn't allowed to taste anything?"
Rosa: "Nonsense. I never said that." [starts to get emotional] "It's been five long years since I've had the chance to cook a Thanksgiving meal for you." [sobs] "You can have whatever you want."
[Bobby is touched by this and eats one up, savoring the taste.]
Rosa: [holds up another dish] "Here, have some more."
Bobby: "You made pozole too?! Another one of my faves."
Rosa: [feeds him the pozole] "Shh, shh, keep eating."
[Afterwards, Bobby walks into the family room, swallowing a mouthful and sees Ronnie Anne, Maria, Carlos, Carlota, CJ, and Carl making paper chains.]
Carlos: "Hey, Bobby, come join us. We were just making our traditional paper chain of all the things we're thankful for."
Carlota: "I already wrote mine. "I'm so glad the Santiagos are back with us this year, all three of them.""
Ronnie Anne: [she and Maria approach Bobby] "See, big brother? Everyone's so happy that we're together again."
Maria: "And hopefully will be forever."
[She and Ronnie Anne are squeezing his arms tightly, both wearing unhinged looking smiles.]
Bobby: [scared] "Guys, you're hurting my arms."
[Back with Lori...]
Lucy: "Hey, Lori, I'm workshopping this year's Thanksgiving poem, can I get your opinion? I call it, "Ode to an Empty Chair". [clears her throat] "Appetizers have been vanquished. The meal has come to pass. Dessert is on the horizon, yet this space remains so vast. [referring to Lori's seat] Where once sat a warm body. Now there is only cold wood. [knocks on the chair] All that remains is a lock of blonde hair, a reminder of what was once good." [goes up to her and snips off some locks of Lori's hair.]
Lori: "Gah! Lucy!"
Lucy: [sets the locks on Lori's chair.] "So, what do you think?"
Lori: [growls, being fed up with this.] "Okay, that's it."
[Back with Bobby...]
Hector: [enters the bodega out of breath] "I just heard the most horrible thing! Saul from Saul's Sandwich Shop heard from Street Meat Malik that Vito Filliponio's son is spending Thanksgiving, at his friend's house!" [Ronnie Anne and CJ dramatically gasp at this.] "Can you imagine the pain he's causing his family? What a sin."
Bobby: [also fed up with this] "Okay, that's it!"
[Cuts to both the Loud House and the Casagrande bodega.]
Bobby & Lori: "Family meeting!"
Lori: [Marches into the living room and faces her family.] "I literally know you guys are up to something. Out with it!"
Bobby: "And be honest with me."
[Bobby's family look at each other and pretend they don't know what he's talking about. Cut back to Lori growling in anger, probably resulting in the same thing.]
Lynn Sr.: "Fine. We know that you might go to the Casagrande's for Thanksgiving."
Lori: [gasps] "You've been eavesdropping on me?!"
Lynn Sr.: "Lincoln did it!"
Lincoln: [perturbed] "Dad!"
Lynn Sr.: "What? She forced it out of me, son."
Rita: "Look, honey, Thanksgiving means so much to our family."
Rosa: "Thanksgiving means so much to our family."
Rita: "The thought of our first-born not spending it with us, [starts to tear up the same time Lily does.] I don't want to get too emotional, but-"
Lynn Sr.: [latches onto Lori's legs, crying] "Please don't go!"
Lori: [starts to feel bad] "Aw."
Hector: "You were gone for so many years, and now that you're back with us- I'm an old man, Bobby [coughs] I don't know how much time we have left together."
Bobby: [starts to feel bad as well.] "Ah..."
[Later, Bobby and Lori are having another conversation on video chat.]
Lori: "Boo-Boo Bear, I have something to tell you."
Bobby: "I have something to, uh, tell you too."
Bobby & Lori: "You first. I can't leave my family for Thanksgiving."
Bobby: "Ah, babe, what are we gonna do?"
Lori: [gets an idea] "What if, just for this one year, we all have Thanksgiving together?"
Bobby: "That's a great idea! Our families haven't met, it'll be perfect."
Lori: "Just one problem: How are we gonna decide whose family should-"
[Suddenly, the two families open the door to their rooms.]
Louds & Casagrandes: "We'll host!"
Lori: [annoyed] "Seriously? You guys are eavesdropping again?" [She and Bobby get knocked off their beds.] "Ahh!"
[The two hold their phones up for their families to chat to the other.]
Hector: "It would be an honor for us to host your family here in the city."
Lynn Sr.: "No, we insist. You should come to Royal Woods."
[The two families all speak at once, overlapping over one another until Lori speaks up.]
Lori: "Guys, guys, let's just flip a coin, and winner gets to host! Bobby, you call it." [flips the coin up in the air.]
Bobby: "Heads! No, wait, uh, tails! Uh, uh, heads! Yep, definitely heads."
[The coin lands on the ground.]
Lori: "It's tails."
[The Louds cheer, much to the Casagrandes' dismay.]
Carl: "Of course this one would call heads."
[The two families, except Lori and Bobby, are now having another meeting.]
Lynn Sr.: "We're not out of the woods yet. What about next year? And the year after that? We need to show Bobby and Lori that this is where they want to spend all future Thanksgivings."
Rita: [gasps] "Your father's right. We need to throw the greatest holiday ever!"
Frida: [depressed] "Well, that's it." [sobbing] "It's over!"
Rosa: "Nonsense. The Louds may have won the battle, but we will win the war. We just need to bring our Thanksgiving to them."
Maria: "If we show Bobby and Lori that we do Thanksgiving better than the Louds, they'll want to spend it with us next year."
Hector: "And every year after that."
Ronnie Anne: "Yeah! Watch out, Louds, 'cause-"
Louds & Casagrandes: "It's on!"
[End of Act I]
Act II
[Flip is picking something out of his teeth until he sees the audience has returned.]
Flip: "Oh! Whoops, didn't realize you were back. Oh, so where was I? Ah, right. Turkey Day was here and the Louds were getting ready for a showdown with the Casa Gs."
[Fade transition to the Loud House once again. The Loud family is getting ready for their 'Thanksgiving off' with the Casagrandes.]
Rita: [coming downstairs with a box of decorations.] "Chop, chop with those streamers, girls, we really have to dazzle Lori and Bobby with these decorations." [Notices something] "Leni, weren't you going to put a leaf in the table?"
Leni: "I did, hello." [Points to an actual leaf on the table.]
Rita: [blinks] "Uh, honey, why don't you go help your father in the kitchen. [sets down the box] "Lincoln, I need you to polish these spoons." [sees that Lincoln is trying to pull his eyebrows out.]
Lincoln: "Ow!"
Rita: "What are you doing?"
Lincoln: [pulls another one out] "Ow! Trying to see if pulling my eyebrows will keep me awake for dessert."
Rita: [shoves the spoons into his hands.] "Spoons." [turns around] "Lola, you were supposed to choose a photo of Bobby and Lori, not you."
[Lola sets a picture of herself with Lori and Bobby in the background on the table.]
Lola: [confused] "What are you talking about?" [points at them] "They're right there."
Rita: "Try again."
[Lola takes the picture and goes upstairs. Suddenly, A horn honks and the Casagrandes pull up in front of the Louds' residence.]
Lori: [excitingly gasps as she heads downstairs.] "It's the Casagrandes!"
[Lori's family gathers around her and she opens the door.]
CJ: "Hi, I'm CJ. Do you have any cans?"
Frida: [chuckles] "Also, happy Thanksgiving."
[The two families exchange greetings as the Casagrandes step inside.]
Lori: [hugs her beloved] "Boo-Boo Bear!"
Bobby: "Hey, babe."
Ronnie Anne: [playfully punches Lincoln] "Punk."
Lincoln: [gives one right back] "Loser."
Rosa: [with a dish] "Now, I know you said not to bring anything but I didn't want to be rude and show up empty handed."
Lynn Sr.: "Oh, please, I think we can make room for one little dish."
Rosa: [smirks] "ALRIGHT, BACK IT UP, BOYS!"
[A moving truck backs up on the driveway with a ton of dishes Rosa made. Lynn Sr. looks on with confusion.]
Rita: "Don't worry, honey, there's no way they're gonna upstage your meal."
Mover: [enters with an unroasted pig; Lynn Sr. is now in shock.] "Hi, this is a pig on a spit. Where would you like it?"
Rita & Lynn Sr.: "Kitchen."
Bobby: [Admiring the decorations while the mover and Lynn Sr. take the dishes to the kitchen.] "Wow, look at this place. It's so festive, Mrs. L."
Rita: [laughs] "Well, Bobby, we Louds go all out for Thanksgiving."
Frida: [steps in between them] "These store-bought decorations are nice, Rita. Though as a professional artist... [sets her painting on an easel] ...I prefer the handmade touch. [Reveals the Casagrandes' "Emotionally Raw Vegetables" painting but with Bobby and Lori in the center.]
Lori: "Awww. You made Bobby and me two peas in a pod. That's so sweet."
Frida: "And the room feels more personal."
[The Casagrandes and Lori gather around the painting sharing their comments and the Louds look on displeased.]
Lincoln: "Well played, Casagrandes, but don't count the Louds out just yet."
[The living room]
Lynn Sr.: "If everyone would please find a seat for our annual Thanksgiving skit!"
[The Casagrandes enter the living room.]
Rosa: "They have a skit?"
Hector: "Huh?"
Frida: [gasps] "We're on it."
[Frida and Carlota dash off.]
Lynn Sr.: [stops Bobby] "Dah, no, Bobby, we saved you a seat right here in the front row."
[A reserved spot is seen on the couch. Lincoln removes the "reserved" tag and Bobby makes his way to it.]
Bobby: "Excuse me. Perdoname." [sits down]
[Lincoln hands Bobby a juice box and gives a thumbs-up to Luna as she dims the lights on her laptop. A spotlight comes on and Lincoln comes out wearing his blue suit as suspenseful trial music begins to play.]
Lincoln: "Welcome! What you're about to see is a case of the bird's so cute, you can gobble her up." [pulls back the curtains and it shows the sisters and parents as the jury and Luan as a probation officer.] "All rise for the honorable Lori Loud!" [Lori enters wearing her judge robe and sits at her podium, knocking her gavel.] "And now let's meet the defendant, Turkey Lily!"
[Leni brings Lily in her turkey costume and cutely gobbles.]
Bobby: [adored] "Aw, she's adorable."
Lori: [Southern accent] "I officially commence the People vs. Lily Loud." [Gavel knocks]
[Outside, Frida and Carlota are making the turkey masks near the Mercado van.]
82 MINUTES LATER...
[The gavel knocks and the Casagrandes seem bored but Bobby still looks on with glee.]
Lori: "Your verdict?"
Lana: [Southern accent] "We, the jury, find the defendant guilty."
[Lily looks sad and frowns.]
Bobby: [his voice wakes his family up.] "No, this is an outrage!"
Lori: "Guilty of being the cutest turkey ever."
[Lily giggles and everybody, except Bobby, applauds reluctantly.]
Bobby: "Ah, what a relief."
[The Louds take a bow and walk off while Lori stays behind.]
Bobby: [goes up to Lori and hugs her.] "Babe, your performance was amazing!"
Lynn Sr.: "Hey, let's talk about finding a role for you next year." [Southern accent] "I say, how does Jury #7 sound?"
[Bobby gasps with excitement.]
Ronnie Anne: [with Carlitos mimicking her.] "Dang it. They've sucked in Bobby with his weakness for theater. [Smug] Well played, Louds, but never underestimate the Casagrandes."
[The Casagrandes now take the stage. Some of them wearing the turkey masks.]
Bobby: [confused] "What's this?"
Frida: [Puts a turkey mask on Bobby.] "Our annual turkey dance, of course!" Follow our lead. Uno, dos, tres."
[Hector starts playing his guitar with Rosa clapping along, and everyone else flapping their arms, shaking their tails, and generally doing what turkeys do. Only Lori seems interested at the performance while the rest of the Louds look confused. Rita and Lynn Sr. look smugly to each other.]
Rita: "Well, we've got nothing to worry about."
Lynn Sr.: "Yeah, this is terrible."
Lori: [suddenly joining in] "This is great!" [gobbles]
[The Louds are then surprised by this as Lori keeps dancing like a turkey with the Casagrandes.]
Lynn Sr.: "Don't worry, dinner is the decisive battle. That's where we're going to, Lynn-cinerate them."
[Dinnertime]
Rita: "Dinner!"
[The two families enter the dining room chatting and see their first-borns enter, much to their joy.]
Rita: "There they are~!"
[Lynn Sr. imitates a trumpet playing while the couple look at each other puzzled.]
Hector: "Lori, Bobby, we saved you a spot."
Lincoln: "No, we saved you a spot."
Lori: "Um, how about we sit in the middle?" [She and Bobby do so.]
Lynn Sr.: [puts some of his food on their plates.] "Here, try my turkey skin-infused stuffing. You're gonna love it."
Rosa: [puts her tamales on their plates.] "But first, try my tamales. I-I did an extra kick."
Lynn Sr.: [chuckles] "An extra kick, that's cute. They don't want heat, they want sweet. [switches dishes] Here, kids, taste my marshmallow covered potatoes."
Rosa: "Feh, how do you know what they want?" [switches dishes as well] "They're clearly craving my homemade shredded turkey mole."
[Lynn Sr. and Rosa glare at each other while adding more and more food onto Lori and Bobby's plates, and in no time flat, it turns into a feud and their dishes are now stacked as high as mountains on the couple's plates.]
Rita: [clinks her glass] "I'd like to make a toast. Bobby, Lori, I just want to say how much it means to have you here with us." [tears up] "I don't know if I can't get through this."
Lori: [touched] "Oh, Mom."
Hector: [clinks his glass] "Uh, excuse me if I might. I'm sure it means a lot to you, Rita, but with all respect, it means more to us.
Rita: "Well, Hector, that seems really unlikely because nothing means more to us, kay?"
Rosa: "Oh, really?"
Rita: "Yeah."
Rosa: "Is that so?"
Rita: "Yeah, that's right."
[Lori and Bobby look at their relatives worried and the mountain of food melts down.]
Hector: "Forget the toast. I can say it so much better with music!" [starts playing his guitar] "We love Bobby and Lori more than... [Lynn Sr. elbows Luna and she dashes off.] ...anyone in the world"
Luna: [brings in her axe and starts playing, cutting Hector off.] "FAMILY!"
[Luna's playing is then cut short when her axe gets unplugged, revealing that was Carl's doing and Luna glares at him.]
Carl: "Oopsie."
Lola: [angry] "How dare you!" [jumps on Carl and the two start beating each other up.]
Frida: "Control your children! It is not safe to have Thanksgiving in this house!"
Rita: "Well, if you don't like it, you're welcome to leave! Not you, Bobby, you can stay."
Frida: "That's what you want, isn't it? [caresses Bobby's face] To steal our precious Roberto away from us!" [kisses him]
Lynn Sr.: "Oh, oh, oh, [caresses Lori's face] like you haven't been trying to steal Lori from us, well, guess what, bucko, it's not gonna happen!"
Lori: [trying to intervene] "Guys, guys, please stop!"
Louds & Casagrandes: "STAY OUT OF THIS!!"
Rosa: "Why would anybody want to spend Thanksgiving here gnawing on your 'dry bird'?!" [referring to the turgooseon]
[Lynn Sr. starts crying, hurt by those harsh words.]
Rita: [comforts her husband] "The turgooseon is delicious. Maybe the problem is your lumpy gravy!"
[Enter GravyBot]
GravyBot: "Did someone say gravy?" [Squirts gravy all over Rita, who screams in shock.]
Rosa: [knocks GravyBot away] "No, they don't deserve it."
GravyBot: [hits the wall, splattering gravy all over itself.] "Aaaaaaah, system malfunction! Malfunction! Reeeeeee!" [ends up getting gravy all over Frida's painting.]
Frida: [gasps] "My painting!"
[Lily laughs at Frida, when suddenly she gets food thrown in her face, the thrower is revealed to be Carlitos. Everyone, except Lori and Bobby, grabs some food and start throwing it at each other. Splatters of food stain the window and walls, and mashed potatoes hits Carl square in the face. Lalo pulls on the tablecloth while Charles, Cliff, and Geo do the same and the turgooseon then goes flying out the window.]
Rita: [whistles and the feud stops] "That's enough! I know a way to settle this."
Lynn: "Yeah! Arm wrestle! Let's go!
Rita: "No, let's just ask Lori and Bobby where they would rather spend Thanksgiving."
[Camera zooms out to show that Bobby and Lori are gone.]
Lynn Sr.: "Huh, where'd they go?"
[They all look outside and see that Lori and Bobby have left.]
Flip: [narrating] "And that's how Bobby and Lori ended up at the only place in town that's open 24/7 365, except during fishing season."
[Cuts to Flip's Food and Fuel, where Bobby and Lori decided to bail to during their families' fight, and is where the episode is now.]
Lori: "I'm sorry, Boo-Boo Bear, I know you were looking forward to having a real Thanksgiving this year."
Bobby: "It's not all bad." [holds up some turkey jerky] "I found this half-off turkey jerky."
[Suddenly, Vanzilla and the Mercado van pull up and both families run out and inside the gas station, trampling Flip.]
Flip: "Jumping jerky! Holy hot dogs!" [gets up afterwards]
Bobby: "Whoa, how did you guys find us?"
Carlos & Lisa: "Tracking devices."
[Both look at each other]
Lynn Sr.: "You left before trying my twice-baked tart."
Rosa: [scoffs] "They would prefer my flan."
Lynn Sr.: "Flan, shman. [chanting] Tart, tart, tart!"
Bobby: "Stop! Don't you guys see, this is why we left. We couldn't stand the fighting and competing."
Lori: "We don't want to choose sides. So maybe from now on, we should just spend Thanksgiving by ourselves."
[Both families now feel guilty because of how they've been acting.]
Rosa: "Well, nobody wants that."
Lynn Sr.: "We certainly don't."
Maria: "Lori, Bobby, I'm sorry we've been acting so childishly."
Rita: "We're sorry too, it's just so hard to let go of your kids." [Maria comforts her] "You know what? You should get Lori and Bobby for Thanksgiving."
Hector: "Well, goodness knows we haven't done anything to deserve that. They should spend it with you."
Flip: "Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you just rotate every year, huh? Much like the juicy hot dogs I'm selling at a mere 40% mark-up. Holiday discount."
Bobby: [he and Lori agree to this] "Works for us."
[They all engage in a big group hug.]
Lynn: "I'm glad we figured out future years, but what about right now? I'm starving!"
Bobby: "Well, we've got hot dogs and sunflower seeds and twenty kinds of artisanal jerky. Maybe we could throw a dinner together here."
Lynn Sr.: "I'm game."
Rosa: "Me too."
Frida: "We could make this place look festive. I think I have some leftover decorations in the car."
Rita: "I'll help you."
[And so...]
Flip: [to the viewers] "So, that's the story of how ol' Flip saved Thanksgiving. Both families coming together to give thanks and celebrate the abundance that is the old Food and Fuel."
Lynn Sr.: "Rosa, this chili-cheese dog stuffing is divine. The habanero sauce was a nice touch."
Rosa: [holds up the said sauce] "I never leave home without it."
[Pans over to Rita and Frida hanging up decorations.]
Frida: "It's the perfect combination of store-bought and homemade."
[Pans over to Lincoln and Ronnie Anne.]
Lincoln: [eating two chocolate bars] "I can't believe I finally got dessert this year, and a whole aisle's worth."
Ronnie Anne: "And I can't believe we hit our donation goal for the food drive."
CJ: [wheels in a wheelbarrow full of cans.] "Thanks, Flip."
Flip: "Eh, don't mention it. If word gets out that Flip's a soft touch, it's all over."
Bobby: "What do you think, babe? Best T-giving ever?"
Lori: [She and Bobby clink their Flippees together.] "Literally our best so far. Thanks, Boo-Boo Bear."
[The two share their first onscreen kiss.]
Rita & Hector: [making a toast] "A toast!"
Rita: "To Thanksgiving traditions."
Hector: "Old and new."
[The two families cheers to that.]
Luna: "You dudes are tugging at my heartstrings, which means..." [whips out her acoustic guitar] "I gotta tug at my guitar strings."
Hector: "How about a duet?" [with his guitar] "Uno, dos..."
[Hector and Luna start playing with Carlos joining in with his trumpet.]
Hector:
♫ Two different families
Yet so much in common ♫
Luna:
♫ The loudness, the chaos
But we'll just keep strummin' ♫
Hector & Luna:
♫ Together, it's better when we're in harmony ♫
Hector:
♫ For Bobby and Lori
Our hearts were once breaking ♫
Luna:
♫ But now we're together
It's memories we're making ♫
Hector:
♫ Mis amigos nuevos
That's you ♫
Luna:
♫ And you ♫
Hector & Luna:
♫ And you
And you
And you
And me ♫
Hector: Thanksgiving fiesta!
Rosa: ¿Aqui?
Lynn Sr.: You betcha!
Lana: Will somebody save me the beak?
Louds & Casagrandes:
Ew!
[All dancing to the song]
♫ Grateful, por todo
Agredecido means I'm grateful for it all
Grateful, por todo
Agredecido, for breaking down the wall ♫
Hector & Luna:
♫ We're grateful for it all ♫
Hector: [laughs] "Sweet."
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