|This article is about the Season 1 episode. For the Season 2 episode, see The Loudest Mission: Relative Chaos. For the Season 3 episode, see The Loudest Thanksgiving.|
The episode begins with Lincoln playing a video game in his room, when his mother enters and tells him to go outside, because it is not healthy to stay inside playing video games all day. Lincoln obeys, and goes to the backyard, but he still playing his video game. Rita catches him and tells him that he needs to do some more exercise so she sends Lincoln with his father to jogging with him and his friends in the mall, but Lincoln prefers to go to the arcade instead of jogging. After catching Lincoln in the arcade, Dad returns Lincoln to Rita to make him do aerobics on TV with her. But while they're doing that, Lincoln keeps reading a comic book (that he sticks on her rear). When it falls off and Rita notices, she tells him that she will have to take other measures; that means inscribing Lincoln for the Royal Woods Roosters football team. Lincoln tells her that he isn't good at sports (which he proves by showing some flashbacks of him playing baseball with Clyde and basketball with Liam while reading a comic book, and badminton with Lola and horseshoes with Lynn while playing video games), but Rita tells him that he needs to exercise one way or another.
Lincoln then tells the audience that he clearly can't play football, so he asks Lola if she can hurt him to avoid playing football. Lola agrees and later tries to break Lincoln's leg running over him with her princess car, only to crash it into some garbage containers because Lincoln changed his mind at the last second and moves his leg away. Lola, enraged at her brother for making her crash, attacks him but is interrupted by Lynn. After she knows that Lincoln is going to play football, Lynn offers happily to teach Lincoln everything he needs to know about football. The next scenes show Lincoln being trained by Lynn, but at the end he proves that he really isn't good for football. During a training in the Ketchman Park, Lincoln and Lynn bump into Hank and Hawk, two rough players from the Hazeltucky Hockers, the rival team of Lincoln's school football team. The guys mock them and leave, giving Lincoln an idea; Lynn can pretend to be him and play in his place so she can play and he can have his own life. Lynn accepts.
The two siblings later begin their plan. While Lynn goes to play instead of him, Lincoln stays under a tree reading comics, and when she comes back he puts on the uniform and Lynn throws mud to his face to make their parents believe that Lincoln really plays. They keep doing it until autumn arrives. The plan looks to be successful until Dad shows to Lincoln a newspaper announcement, which tells that the crowd loves Lincoln (who really is Lynn) due to his (her) excellent playing. Dad then says that he and the rest of the family will go to see Lincoln playing tomorrow in his final game, much to the latter's horror.
The next day, it's the final game of the season. Mom, Dad, and the rest of Lincoln's sisters go to the game to see him play. He manages to make Lynn play instead of him and in some moments (like when they have to sing the national anthem or the TV interview during the halftime), they switch places. Near the last minutes for the endgame, the players of the rival team injure Lynn by producing a sprain in her ankle. When she's taken out of the field, the coach removes her helmet, revealing to everyone that she really is Lynn and not Lincoln. Without any other option, Lincoln appears and confesses to the coach and his parents what he had done. Because of Lynn's injury, she can't continue playing and the Royal Woods Roosters will lose by default, but Lincoln then offers to replace Lynn in the field.
With just one point to win, and one minute to finish the game, Lincoln enters the game and is pursued by the rival players to obtain the ball from him. At the end, Lincoln makes a touchdown. After that, he talks to the viewers that sports can be pretty awesome but then it's revealed that he went to the wrong side of the field, scoring a safety for the other team, meaning the Royal Woods Roosters lose and the Hazeltucky Hockers win both the game and the trophy. Because of this, the other Royal Woods Rooster players pursue Lincoln who flees from them. During his fleeing, he describes that he's finally getting enough exercise before he suffers another charley horse, and the episode ends.