[The Loud House; Lincoln's room. Lincoln is using some binoculars to spy out of his window.]
Lincoln: "9am; no sign of delivery. Just Lori trying to get gum off her shoe."
[Through Lincoln's binoculars, Lori is shown outside, doing exactly what Lincoln just described]
Lincoln: "Yeesh!" [to the viewers] "I know what this looks like, but I'm not spying on Lori. She ordered a new mattress that's being delivered today, and I'm gonna claim her old one. It's still in great shape Meanwhile, my mattress has... sustained some damage."
[The camera pans out to reveal Lincoln's now decrepit mattress, which is sagging and contains multiple tears and pink stains on it]
Lincoln: "Oh, don't worry, it's just cherry Flippee spillage."
[Then, one of the springs bursts out of the mattress and smacks itself right onto Lincoln's face]
Lincoln: "And there are coil issues." [he shakes the spring off his head, then he hears the sound of a truck horn as he looks back out of his window in delight, using the binoculars] "The mattress is here!"
[The scene transitions to Lori, who is pushing her newly delivered mattress into her appartment]
Lincoln: "He-Hey, Lori let me help you!"
Lori: "Nice try, Lincoln." [shoves her mattress through her apartment door] "I already gave my old mattress to Leni."
Lincoln: "What?! Why Leni?!"
Lori: "Because she's next in line. It's literally a family rule. Did you forget about the LLS? Loud Line of Succession? [The letters LLS appear, which then form the words Loud Line of Succession]
Lincoln: [brushes away the words] "Heh, of course not."
[The Dining Room]
Lincoln: [to the viewers] "I definitely forgot about the Loud Line of Succession." [he uses a hockey stick to take a large old looking book titled Loud Stuff, down from the bookshelf, which he is able to catch] "It's right here in the Book of Loud's Stuff!" [he opens the book and starts flicking through the pages] "Mom and Dad put this together years ago to help solve disputes over our... stuff. Ah, here it is. The LLS; A handed down item will always go to the next sibling. If that sibling passes on the item, it moves to the next oldest. Wait, that's how I can get the mattress! I just need Leni, Luna, Luan and Lynn to pass on it. Easy peasy."
[Lincoln closes the book, resulting in him getting covered in a large amount of dust]
[Leni's room; Leni is applying some facial cream]
Lincoln: "Oh Leni! Um... I was just wondering, is there anything I can do to get you to pass on Lori's old mattress?"
Leni: "IDK. Tanya's really been loving it."
[Cut to Tanya lying on Lori's old mattress, sporting a cucumber facial mask]
Lincoln: Well, maybe there's something I could do for the... both of you?"
Leni: Hmmm... [gasps] Oooh, I know! [whispers to Lincoln] "It's Tanya's birthday, and I wanted to surprise her with lunch, but now I have to work. If you take her, I'll give up the mattress."
[Lincoln smiles at this]
[Gus' Games and Grub. Lincoln has thrown a birthday party for Tanya]
Lincoln: "♫Happy birthday, dear Tanya, happy birthday to you!♫"
???: "Ahem!"
[Lincoln looks over to find Chandler staring at him]
Chandler: "You're a real weirdo, Loud."
[Chandler walks off. But Lincoln just shrugs him off as he uses a party blower, which accidentally knocks off Tanya's head]
[The Loud House; Luna and Luan's room. Luna is playing the drums rather loudly]
Lincoln: "...AND I WAS WONDERING, COULD YOU MAYBE PASS UP ON LORI'S MATTRESS?!!"
Luna: [stops playing] "Uhh... that's tough, bro. I was gonna turn my closet into a recording booth and use the mattress to sound proof it."
Lincoln: "There must be something I could do for you, or... maybe the band?"
Luna: [thinks it over] "Huh... We do need a roadie for tonights gig. Chunk got his hand stuck in a pickle jar again."
Lincoln: [British accent] "Well, chip chip cheerio, I'll be your Chunk, luv. How hard could it be?"
[Lincoln finds out exactly how hard it is, as he is seen carrying The Moon Goats' entire music equipment to the backstage area of a music hall. A security guard is by the stage door.]
Lincoln: [struggling] "Where should I put The Moon Goats gear?"
[The security guard opens the stage door. Lincoln gasps in horror as he see's a rather large flight of stairs. Lincoln is struggling to get up the stairs carrying the large equipment, all while trying not to slip... only for him to lose his balance as he and the equipment fall down the stairs, as Lincoln groans in agony.]
[The Loud House; Luna and Luan's room. Luan, in her Burnt Bean uniform is adjusting her squirt flower on her apron]
Luan: "Sure I'll give you Lori's mattress, if you do one thing for me.
[Lincoln's smile disappears as he wonders what she means.]
[Cut back to Gus' Games and Grub. This time Lincoln is throwing a birthday party for Mr. Coconuts]
Lincoln: [dancing] "♫Happy Birthday, Mr. Coconuts, happy birthday to you!♫"
[A camera phone flash is then seen and heard, as the camera pans over to Chandler, who has just taken a photo of Lincoln throwing a birthday party for a ventriloquist dummy]
Chandler: "Aaand... posted to the sixth grade chat. [laughs as he walks away]
[Lincoln just simply takes a slice of pizza and places it into Mr. C's mouth, while making him chew it]
[Back at the Loud House, an exhausted Lincoln walks upstairs]
Lincoln: [to the viewers] "Phew, well it hasn't been easy, but all I have to do is convince Lynn to pass up on the mattress, and it's as good as mine."
[Lynn and Lucy's room. Lynn is lifting a couple of dumbbells]
Lincoln: "Hey, Lynn. Looking swole!"
Lynn: "Stop trying to butter me up, Lincoln." [drops her weights] "I know why you're here, and I ain't passing on Lori's mattress." [she stretches out her lower back] "My back's been killing me after soccer lately, and I need it to shore up my alignment." [drinks from her water bottle]
Lincoln: [having now climbed onto Lynn's bed] "But your mattress feels fine."
Lynn: "Yeah right! It's sag city from all the times I've used it as a mat to practice my wrestling moves."
Lincoln: "Okay, well your mattress maybe sag city, but my mattress is sog city! Plus, it has an exposed coil that pokes me in the butt at night. Look." [he tries to show off his pained rear to Lynn, only for her to wince in disgust]
Lynn: [imitates buzzer] "Don't need to see that! Once I've finished my workout I'm grabbing the mattress. But first..." [she climbs onto her bedside drawer] "One more wrestling move for old times sake."
[Lynn then performs a diving elbow drop on her brother, which causes them to sink into Lynn's saggy mattress, as Lincoln groans in pain.]
[Lincoln returns to the dining room with the Book of Loud's Stuff in hand]
Lincoln: [disappointed] "Looks like coil chique is gonna be a chronic condition for me. I'm stuck with my beat up mattress."
[Lincoln climbs up a ladder to place the book back on the bookshelf. This makes the bookshelf to shake a little, knocking the ladder forwards, which causes Lincoln, who is still holding the book, to fall off it. Lincoln removes the open book from his face, only to find a series of yellow sticky notes have just fallen out of it. He takes off the one that is on his face and inspects it.]
Lincoln: "Huh? An Amendment? I didn't know this book had amendments." [starts reading from the sticky note] "Amendment A-101: If a hand-me-down has multiple parts, all parts must be handed down at once." [He picks up another sticky note that has just landed on his head] "Amendment 99: Any handed down clothing must be sweat, rip and skid mark free." [he notices another sticky note flying past him, as he pounces to grab it] * "Amendment 24: In the event that someone does NOT claim a hand me down within 24 hours, it will pass to the next sibling in line of succession! [gasps] That means if I can distract Lynn for one day, the mattress is all mine!"
[Upstairs, Lincoln quietly sneaks up outside Lynn and Lucy's room. He places his backpack on the ground and opens it up to reveal freshly made meatball subs. He takes one out which he promptly sniffs and leaves outside their bedroom door.]
Lincoln: "Time for a tasty little scavenger hunt. This will keep Lynn busy for hours."
[Lincoln sets up a timer for 24 hours on his phone stop watch app, as he walks off with his backpack of subs. The scent of the sandwich creeps into Lynn and Lucy's bedroom. Lynn, who is inside lifting a giant barbell, suddenly notices the scent]
Lynn: "Huh?" [sniffs] "80 percent pork, 20 percent beef," [sniffs again] "crispy yet pillowy roll," [sniffs again] "That's a meatball sub, baby! Oh yeah!"
[Lynn drops her barbell and rushes out of her bedroom. She opens to door and is amazed to see a meatball sub sitting right in front of her door. She then grabs the sandwich and eats it whole, but then she notices the scent of another meatball sub somewhere around the area, as she rushes offscreen to try and find it]
[The scent leads Lynn to a spot in the backyard, where Charles is also inspecting the smell. Charles growls at her, having found the sandwich first, but Lynn angrily barks at him, scaring him off, as she digs a hole like a dog to retrieve the buried meatball sub.]
Lynn: [having come out of the ground with the sandwich in hand] "Gotcha!"
[She eats the meatball sub, but then notices the smell of another one]
Lynn: [sniffs] "Ooh, more!"
[She exits the whole she just dug and has climbed up a tree, where another meatball sub is found perched on a branch. Lynn uses her mouth to inhale the sub like a vaccuum and eats it whole, sighing in relief. Then she notices the scent of another meatball sub, in which she laughs as she rushes down the tree to get it. Lincoln pops out of the tree bush and looks at his phone. His stop watch timer app now has 16 hours and 15 minutes left to go on it]
[A now full up Lynn walks up to her room]
Lynn: [groans] "Too many meatball subs." [lets out a rather large burp] "Ah, much better! Now, lets see, where was I?" [Lynn enter her bedroom and shoves her old mattress out of the door] "So long, Sir Sags-a-Lot, and hello, realigned back!"
[As Lynn walks over to grab Lori's old mattress while whistling, Lincoln peaks out of his bedroom door. Just as Lynn is about to take the mattress...]
Lincoln: [offscreen] "Wow!"
[Lynn stops in her tracks as Lincoln is looking at something on his phone]
Lincoln: [sarcastically] "This girl set a record by Pogo sticking for 16 hours straight! Is she the best athlete, ever?!
Lynn: [takes Lincoln's phone] "Lemme see that! Ugh!" [Lynn looks at the article on Lincoln's phone] "That's light work! I'd crush that record if I had a pogo stick."
Lincoln: [pulls a pogo stick out of his pocket] "Oh look, found one."
[Lynn snatches the pogo stick out of Lincoln's hand]
Lincoln: [pulls out a stopwatch] "I'll even be your timer."
Lynn: "Great! Hop on!" [grabs her brother as she attempts to Pogo]
Lincoln: "Wait, what?"
[Lynn places Lincoln on her back, as she sets off downstairs to break the Pogo stick record]
Sixteen Hours Later
[Lynn Pogo jumps back upstairs, while Lincoln, who is still on her back, is green around the cheeks. Lynn steps off the Pogo stick, as Lincoln falls on the floor.]
Lynn: [picking up the stop watch] "Ha! Sixteen Hours and one minute! Ha-Ha, I knew I could break that record!"
[Lincoln meanwhile looks at his own stop watch on his phone as the time counts down to zero]
Lincoln: "Well, well, well. Looks like it's mattress o' clock."
Lynn: [straightening her back while sighing] "That Pogo stick really seared my glutes. I'm gonna rest them up on my new mattress."
[As she's about to take the mattress, Lincoln whizzes in front of her to prevent her from getting it]
Lincoln: [smugly] "Actually, Lynn, I believe that's my new mattress."
Lynn: [confused] "Very funny, Lincoln. Now get outta the way."
Lincoln: [holds up the sticky note from earlier right in her face] "Behold! This is an amendment I found in the Book of Louds Stuff!" [Lynn takes the amendment from Lincoln and looks at it] "It says any hand-me-down not claimed within 24 hours, passes to the next sibling. And your 24 hours... are up!"
Lynn: [realizing that her brother had set her up the whole the time] "Huh? Wait a second? You've been playing me?!!"
[Lynn, now enraged, proceeds to pounce on Lincoln as she starts to beat him up.]
Lincoln: "HEY! QUIT IT! OW! GET OFF ME! OW!!!"
[Their fight catches the attention of the rest of their siblings]
Luan: [offscreen] "HEY!"
[Their fighting comes to a stop]
Luan: "What's with the racket?! Mr. Coconuts is on a call with his agent!"
Mr. Coconuts: [on the phone] "I told you, Marty, I won't work with sock puppets!"
Lincoln: "If I can exp-"
[Lynn shoves his head onto the ground to shut him up]
Lynn: [angrily] "Stinkin' thinks Lori's mattress is now his because of an amendment in that dumb rule book!"
[Lynn holds up the sticky note, which Luna then takes from her as she and the other sisters inspect it]
Luna: "There are amendments?"
Lola: "I had no idea."
[Luan then takes the sticky from Luna and inspects the amendment herself.]
Luan: "Hmm... Well, this is for sure Dad's handwriting. Sorry, Lynn. If you never took possession of the mattress, then... it belongs to Lincoln."
Lynn: [gobsmacked] "HUH?!!"
[Lincoln gets up off the floor, beaming with joy. He rushes over to embrace the mattress, as he proudly proceeds to take it into his room, while a livid Lynn just furiously watches, completely red in the face with steam shooting out of her ears.]
[Lincoln's room; Lincoln wakes up with a yawn, after having a snooze on his newly claimed mattress]
Lincoln: "Now that was a nap. I might just lay on my new mattress, all day!"
[He begins reading a David Steele comic as he reaches out to turn on his bedside lamp... only to find that his lamp is suddenly missing]
Lincoln: [confused] "Wait a minute, where's my-"
Lucy: "-Reading light?"
[Lucy has just popped up from Lincoln's bedside drawer in possession of his lamp, startling him in the process]
Lucy: "I've always felt this would fit nicely in my coffin."
Lincoln: "I'm sure it would, but you can't just take my lamp!"
Lucy: "Actually... I can. After you alerted us to the existence of amendments, I found this." [she pulls out a yellow sticky note from his lamp] "Any hand-me-down not being properly cared for can be claimed by the next sibling in the line of succession." This light is covered in dust."
[Lucy blows the dust on the lamp all over Lincoln. Suddenly, Lola can be heard screaming.]
Lincoln: [Shakes the dust off himself] "Huh?"
[In the bathroom, the twins are playing tug of war over a pink bathrobe. Lincoln arrives and takes the robe away to stop their fight.]
Lincoln: "What the heck is going on in here?"
Lana: "Lola is trying to steal Mom's old robe from me!"
Lola: "It never should've been yours to begin with! You know French terry is my favourite fabric!"
Lana: "Well I'm two minutes older than you so I was next in line!"
Lola: [shoves a sticky note into Lana's face] "That's a "Use It or Lose It" amendment I found. And since you don't even bathe, that gives me the right to TAKE THAT ROBE!!"
Lana: [crumples up the note] "I don't care about your stupid rules!" [takes the robe from Lincoln] "I'm keeping it!"
[Lola angrily pounces on her twin and they begin fighting. Lincoln is then alerted by Luna screaming. He looks outside the bathroom door to hear a scuffle going on in Luna and Luan's bedroom. Luan then runs out of the room holding a leather jacket, much to Luna's anger.]
Luna: "Hey! That's my leather jacket, dude! Leni passed it down to me!" [chases after her sister]
Luan: "Yeah..." [holds up a sticky note] "But this amendment says that disrespecting an item is grounds for forfeiture!"
[Lincoln is then alerted by Leni screaming, as she and Lori burst out of her bedroom fighting over a pink scarf, which Leni manages to snatch away, causing Lori to let out a scream as she angrily pounces on her younger sister. Then Lisa is showing chasing after Lily, who is riding away on her chair.]
Lisa: "Please return my chair at once!"
Lily: [holds up a sticky note and throws it at her older sister] "AMENDMENT!!"
[The twins fight pushes Lincoln out of the way. All he can do is watch in shock to see what his actions have lead to, as all of the sisters start fighting each other over their valuables, creating mass chaos.]
Lincoln: "Huh... I did not see this coming." [thinks for a moment] "I gotta fix this."
[Lincoln rushes over to his room, as the sisters continue their brawl]
Lincoln: [offscreen] I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!!"
[Everyone (sans Lynn) stops fighting]
Lincoln: "I've decided..." [brings out Lori's mattress] "To let Lynn have this mattress!"
Lucy: "Huh?"
Lori, Lana, Lola and Lisa: "WHAT?!!"
[Leni, Luna, Luan and Lily gasp. Lynn pops up from behind the group in surprise, then she smiles at Lincoln's gesture.]
Lincoln: "Look, I know I started all of this, but... I think everyone should get their things back. The Book of Loud's Stuff was created to keep the peace in this house, but... now we're just using it to take advantage of each other." [The sisters start to feel guilty over their actions, as Lincoln holds up a pen.] "I propose one last amendment." [Lincoln takes out a sticky note and starts writing on it] "The wellbeing of the family, always comes first."
[The sisters gather around their only brother, having just finished the amendment.]
Lori: "You're right, Lincoln."
Lola: "Agreed."
Lynn: "Absolutely!"
Lisa: "You spelled "well being" wrong... but, your heart is in the right place."
[Lincoln corrects his spelling error on the piece of paper. Everyone smiles at this.]
[Back in Lincoln's room, he is putting his lamp back on his bedside drawer. Then he turns to his old dilapidated mattress]
Lincoln: [contemptibly] "Well, it's just you and me again, Soggy."
[Soon after, Lincoln hears a knock at his door. Cut to Lynn standing in his doorway.]
Lynn: [waves] "Hey, bro." [brings in her old mattress] "I was gonna toss this baby, but technically you're next in line if you want it." [Lincoln smiles at this] "The old gal's been through some stuff, but she's still got some life in her."
[Lincoln's smile disappears as Lynn lifts the entire mattress onto his bed]
Lynn: "Give her a try. I jammed some foam in there to prop up the sag."
Lincoln: [upon feeling the mattress] "Woah! Feels nice and bouncy. Lemme test her out."
[Lincoln jumps on the mattress, which bounces him out of his open window, causing him to scream and land outside somewhere].
Lynn: [shocked] "Huh?!!"
[Lynn worriedly looks out of the window to see if he's okay.]
Lincoln: [having landed in a bush, pokes his hand out] "I'LL TAKE IT!"
