The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount Skydance and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[Episode begins with a view of Lincoln's first mustache hair zoomed in.] Clyde: "Hold still..." [The camera flashes] "Got it!" Lincoln: "Whoa! Great shot! First mustache hair ever. This one is definitely going in the Lincoln Library." Clyde:[confused] "Lincoln Library?" [The next frame shows up a computer screen. Then it shows the Lincoln Library with all his childhood memories.] Lincoln: "Yep, it's the folder where I keep all my cherished memories. Check it out." [he clicks a picture it shows Lynn and Lincoln in the bathtub with his whale and duck toys.] "Here's me and Lynn in the bathtub," [shows the next picture that Lori feeds Lincoln his first ice cream.] "Lori feeding me my first ice cream," [The next picture shows his first mechanical pony ride with Luan and Lucy.] "my first mechanical pony ride, and now, my first mustache hair." [He tries to add the mustache hair to the library, but gets an error message and reads it] "'Lincoln Library' full. Make room for new file? Yes." [He clicks "yes", which causes the memories to go into the trash.] "Whoa! Where you going?" [Lincoln starts to gasp] "No, no, no, no, no!" [He clicks the mouse faster, then he slams the keyboard.] "Sto-o-op!" [The images keep getting deleted] "Oh, no, no, no, no, no!" [When the files are all gone, Lincoln clicks the trash icon, which is where all his pictures went. However, the memories aren't in there either. He gasps] "All my childhood memories are gone!" Clyde: "Don't worry, buddy. This happened to me once, but I got them all back. My dads saved them in the cloud."
[In the kitchen, Lynn Sr. is making Lynn-sagna.] Lynn Sr: "What do you think, Charles? More cheese? Less cheese?" [Charles barks, Lynn Sr. turns around and reveals his face again] "You're right. Always more cheese." Lincoln:[shouting] "Dad! Do we have the cloud?" Lynn Sr.: "Well, of course we do, Lincoln." [Lincoln sighs in relief.] "We also have the sky and the sun and the moon..." Lincoln: "No, I mean the digital cloud. Where you store stuff from your computer." Lynn Sr.: "Oh, that cloud! No." [Lincoln starts to whimper then he puts his head on the couch.] Lincoln:[voice breaking] "I can't believe it. All my childhood memories gone forever." Clyde: "Let it out, buddy. Dr. Lopez says the first step to healing is to honor your feelings." [Suddenly, Charles runs out of the kitchen with the tray of Lynn-sagna in his mouth whilst Lynn Sr. chases him.] Lynn Sr.: "No, no, no, no! Charles! Bad!" [Charles starts eating the Lynn-sagna.] "I hate Mondays." [sighs] "Guess I'll just have to remake it." Lincoln:[suddenly excited] "Remake it? Clyde, that's the answer!" Clyde: "Good idea. Helping your dad with his lasagna might take your mind off your loss. That's the second step of healing." Lincoln: "No! I mean we'll remake the photos. Clyde: "Hmm. Denial. There's actually a step backwards, but I'm in."
[Lincoln and Clyde go upstairs to the second floor in the hallway. Lana's hat is hung up at the top of the stairs.] Lincoln:[shouting] "Guys! Hallway meeting!" [The sisters come out of their rooms] Lynn:[doing lunges] "Hoho, this better be good. I was in the middle of my lunges." Lincoln:[excited] "Oh, it's better than good. Who wants to have a really fun day recreating some classic family photos?!" [The uninterested sisters return to their rooms.] Lola: "Uh, hard pass." Luna: "Sorry, dude. We're all headed to the mall. Big sale on studded chokers." Lucy: "And coffin linings." Lana: "And dual flush toilets." Lincoln: "Dang it. We need a plan B." [Clyde is dressing up as Lana, donning her hat, putting pigtails in his hair, and marking out his front tooth.] Clyde: "Or do we need a plan C? Get it? The C is for Clyde." Lincoln: "I get it and I like it. But wait. Do you really think you can play all my sisters?" Clyde: "Pssh. My dads and I have been doing Friday Night scene study for years. I once played all the orphans in Annie. Ever heard of it?" [imitates Lana] "Now give me my plunger!" Lincoln: "Wow! You have more layers than my dad's lasagna."
[We see Lincoln has written a checklist of different photos to recreate.] Lincoln: "OK, first shot. Me and Lynn in the tub." [putting film to camera] "And this time we're not taking any chances." [Wearing his bath robe] "I'm gonna use film and print hard copies". Clyde:[in red swimsuit and wig as he imitates Lynn.] "Whatever, nerd. Who uses film anymore?" [prepares to throw a baseball] "Think fast!" [Clyde throws the ball, hitting Lincoln and knocking the tripod over and the camera up in the air.] Lincoln: "Oof!" [keeps his balance and catches the camera; becomes annoyed] "Clyde, what gives?" Clyde: "Sorry, Lincoln. Just getting into character. It's an actor thing." Lincoln:[puts his robe in the towel rack.] "Okay." [checks the light by using the temperate] "Light's good." [touches the tub water with his finger] "Water's good." [throws a rubber duckie] "Props are ready." [pressed the timer button from camera] "Timer's set." [gets into the bath tub, fixes his diaper, him and Clyde smiles at the camera] Clyde:[farts in the bath tub] "Submarine destroyer!" Lincoln: "Aw man, you farted?" Clyde: "It felt right and I went with it." [suspenseful music plays then the bubble pops on Lincoln, camera flashes.]
Lincoln: "Next up: Lori feeding me my first ice cream." [checks the chair's height] "Chair is at optimal height." [puts spoon in the ice cream] "Ice cream is mint chocolate chip." [adjusts diaper] "Diaper is snug but not restrictive." [gets in the highchair] "Clyde! I'm ready for you on set!" [Clyde doesn't show up] "Clyde?" [to the viewers] "Pfft. Actors." [Lincoln tries to get out of the chair, but it topples over backwards with him in it. Clyde runs in dressed as Lori and picks him up back into position - Lincoln manages to hold on to his ice cream despite the fall.] Clyde: "Sorry. I was just, uh...doing some character work." [Flashback to Clyde dressing up as Lori and putting on his makeup.] Clyde:[acting to his reflection] "Sorry, Bobby. It's literally over. I'm in love with Clyde." [Lincoln sets the timer on his camera.] Lincoln: "Well, it worked, 'cause you look just like Lori." Clyde: "Really?" [looks at himself on the bottom of a skillet.] "L-L-L-Lori?" [In a shocked state, he nosebleeds on the ice cream and faints; camera flashes.]
Lincoln: "Next up: my first mechanical pony ride with Lucy and Luan." [Lincoln is dressed like a cowboy and Clyde is cross-dressed like Luan.] Clyde:[disappointed] "I could have played both roles. You didn't have to hire an amateur." [Rusty arrives wearing a Lucy outfit.] Rusty:[acting like Luna] "Wassup, playas?" [puts on Lucy wig and strikes rock poses] "Lucy Loud is in the house!" Clyde: "Rusty, a little acting tip: Lucy would never say that." Rusty: "You just worry about your Lola." Clyde: "I'm Luan! Did you at all prepare for this?" Lincoln:[annoyed] "Guys, let's just get the shot." [He sets the timer and puts the quarter in the coin slot; the ride starts and then goes haywire and bucks them all off into shopping carts as the camera flashes.] Clyde: "Wow! That's really putting the cart before the horse!" [laughs] "Get it?"
[Lincoln and Clyde knock on Mr. Grouse's door and he answers.] Mr. Grouse: "What is it, Loud?" Lincoln: "Hey, Mr. Grouse. We're taking a photo and we really need someone to play Santa." [They both plead and grin to Mr. Grouse. The old man stares at the two boys.] Mr. Grouse: "Hard pass." [As he closes the door, Lincoln puts his foot in it to stop him.] Lincoln: "What if I can make it worth your while?" [The living is decorated for Christmas and Mr. Grouse is dressed as Santa and eating up the Lynn-sagna.] Mr. Grouse: "I'm not a fan of playing dress-up, but I do love your dad's lasagna." Lincoln:[notices the tray's contents are gone] "Okay, I did not think you'd eat the whole tray, but I'm sure we can find something else for dinner." [turns the camera to Clyde and calls] "We're burning daylight, people! Where's my elf?" [Clyde is dressed as an elf pretending to work on a toy train.] Clyde: "One sec, Lincoln. Just have to finish this train." [smashes the toy hammer on his thumb.] "OW!" [sucks on it as Lincoln pushes him next to the chair with Mr. Grouse sleeping in it.] Lincoln: "Clyde, you stand here." [He sets the timer on the camera and jumps in Mr. Grouse's lap, causing him to wake up and belch from the lasagna; the gas makes Lincoln keel over and land on Clyde's foot.] Clyde: "OW!" [Clyde uncontrollably hops around the room holding his sore foot and gets tangled in the Christmas lights, causing the tree to get tossed in the air; camera flashes.]
[At the photo hut, Lincoln and Clyde have just gotten the photos developed.] Lincoln: "Okay, Clyde, moment of truth. Let's see how our first roll came out." [The first photo shows Lincoln disgustedly getting out of the tub after Clyde farted. The second photo shows Clyde passionately fainting from his Lori costume and the blood-covered ice cream about to spill onto Lincoln. The third photo shows them and Rusty about to land in the carts after the pony ride bucked them off. The fourth photo shows them and Mr. Grouse crushed under the Christmas tree.] Lincoln and Clyde: "These...are...AWESOME!" Lincoln: "I'm not gonna lose my childhood memories after all!" Clyde: "Woo-hoo! So, what's our next scene?" Lincoln: "It's my seventh birthday." Clyde: "Great! Will it require an accent? Do I need to gain weight?" Lincoln: "Thank you, Clyde, but that won't be necessary." Clyde: "I also do my own stunts." [vaults off a fire hydrant and goes screaming and plummeting down a manhole. Lincoln braces himself as a clanging noise is heard.]
[At the backyard, Lincoln and a rather injured Clyde are inflating a bounce house, puffing in exhaustion.] Lincoln:[exhausted] "So glad we still have this thing." [Lincoln picks up the camera & tripod and moves to a distance away from the large inflatable] Clyde:[exhausted as well] "Wish you still had the pump, though." [breathes in one more time and passes out] Lincoln:[realizes] "Wait! My seventh birthday didn't have a bounce house. It was a lucha libre party." [Clyde whimpers] "Come on, Clyde. We need to-- redress the set." [--deflates the bounce house] Clyde:[limping] "I think I need to go lie down for a minute...in Lori's bed." [Lincoln grabs his arm and drags him with him.]
[Now the set is made to look like a lucha libre match with Clyde dressed as Lunatic Lynn.] Lincoln: "If I remember the photo right, I was on the ground and Lynn was leaping on top of me." Clyde: "Cool. Just give me a second to get back into Lynn's character." [stretches and grunts] "Okay, good to go!" [Loco Lincoln sets the timer and lays on the mat; Clyde gets on a turnbuckle.] Clyde: "Lunatic Lynn off the third turnbuckle!" [leaps off] "AIEEEEEEE!!!" [Lincoln gasps and gets up.] Lincoln: "Wait a minute." [Clyde lands on the mat with a thud and Lincoln takes off his mask.] "It wasn't lucha libre. It was circus themed!" Clyde:[in agony] "I'll get my clown shoes..."
[Playful circus music begins as the set is turned into a circus. Clyde dressed as a clown riding a unicycle.] Lincoln: "Wait. It wasn't a clown. It was a lion tamer." [Clyde loses his balance on his unicycle and falls into Mr. Grouse's yard.] Mr. Grouse: "OUT OF MY-" [belches] "-YARD!" [Now Clyde is dressed like a lion tamer and Cliff is wearing a fake lion's mane.] Lincoln: "Wait. It wasn't a lion tamer. It was a contortionist." [Cliff attacks Clyde; Clyde is now contorting his body.] Lincoln: "No, it wasn't a contortionist. It was a guy shot out of a cannon." [Clyde rolls off in his contorted state and thuds; now he's in a cannon wearing a jumpsuit.] Lincoln: "Hmm... Wait a minute." Clyde:[worried] "Oh, no. Are you changing your mind? 'Cause if you're changing your mind, you should definitely get me out of-" [gets fired out of the cannon] "-HEEEEEEEERE!!!" Lincoln:[too deep in thought] "What did we do at that party?"
[The Circus music stops. Lincoln helps get Clyde down from the tree he landed in.] "Sorry to put you through that, buddy." Clyde: "That's okay, Lincoln. It was nothing compared to the roof tumble I took during "Fiddler" last Fright Family Theater Night." Lincoln:[panicking] "We got a problem, Clyde! My memories are starting to slip away! We need to get through the rest of these photos fast!" Clyde: "No problem. Just let me get some new pants." [reveals that his suit has a hole torn on his backside.]
[A montage begins with Lincoln and Clyde speeding through the remaining photos. First, they recreate Lincoln and Luan making a sandcastle at the beach (with the sandbox as the beach), then Lincoln and Lana making a snowman together (with garbage bags as snow), Lynn Sr. teaching Lincoln to ride his first bike (with Clyde having his back turned to the camera Season 1-style), Lincoln and Lynn going on an Easter egg hunt, Rita seeing Lincoln first use the potty, Lincoln and Lucy going trick-or-treating as Ace Savvy and a vampire, Lori pushing Lincoln on the swing, Leni giving Lincoln his first haircut, Lincoln and Luna's first jam session, Lincoln bottle-feeding baby Lisa, Lincoln bottle-feeding baby Lola, and finally Rita bottle-feeding baby Lincoln. Each time, Lincoln makes a nervous smile to the camera as it flashes.]
[Soon, Lincoln and Clyde are passed out on the ground from all those photos they took.] Sisters: "LINCOLN!" Lori: "What are you doing with all our stuff?!" Lola:[notices and gasps] "That tiara is never supposed to touch the ground!" Lincoln: "Ladies, don't worry. I'm going to put everything back, right after I develop this-" [opens the camera only to discover there's no film in it; devastated.] "NOOOOOOOOOO!!! I can't believe I forgot to load the film." [groans and faints; comes to later, babbling.] "Potty...sandbox...lion tamer...lasagna..." Lola:[slaps him] "Lincoln! Snap out of it! You're babbling!" Lucy: "Are you okay? Clyde told us what you were trying to do." Lisa: "Then he caught a glimpse of Lori and lost consciousness." Clyde:[still unconscious] "L-L-L-L..." Leni:[fanning him] "Don't say her name so loud." Lana: "We're really sorry you lost all your photos. Do you want us to help you recreate them?" Luan: "Yeah. I shutter to think what you're going through." [laughing] [to Lori]: "Get it?" Lincoln:[sighs] "Thanks anyway, guys, but it's useless. My childhood memories are already gone. I can't even remember what happened at my seventh birthday party." Lori: "I can. You had a magician." [Flashback to the party where a seven-year-old Lincoln pulls a rabbit of the magician's hat.] Lori: "You literally freaked out about his rabbit." [Lincoln freaks out and the rabbit runs away and Charles chase it; this causes the cake to go flying and hit Lincoln; end flashback with all his sisters, minus Lisa and Lily, laughing in reality.] Lincoln: "I can't believe you remember that." Luna: "Dudes, remember what happened at Lincoln's sixth birthday party?" Luan:[laughs] "At the bowling alley? I'll never forget that!" [Flashback to the bowling alley party with a six-year-old Lincoln careening down the lane with the ball still stuck to his fingers and hitting the pins while getting stuck at the end of the lane; end flashback with more sisterly laughter.] Lynn:[nudges Lincoln playfully] "That was the only strike you ever got, lame-o!" Leni:[still fanning the unconscious Clyde] "Do you guys remember that time when Lincoln deleted all of his photos off the computer?" [laughing] Lola: "Uh, that was this morning." Leni:[laughs again] "I know! Remember?" Luan: "Yeah. What about the time Lincoln got into Mom's cosmetics?" [Flashback to baby Lincoln playing with Rita's makeup and getting it on his face; end flashback.] Luan: "Now, there's a story you couldn't makeup!" [laughs as her sisters groan] Luna: "And the time he spent all day on his bike trying to catch the end of the rainbow?" Lori: "Or the time he wore his Blarney the Dinosaur costume every day for a week." Lynn: "Ooh! How about how he got his chipped tooth?" [They all laugh and continue sharing fond memories of Lincoln's past.] Lincoln:[to the viewers] "Turns out I have nothing to worry about. With all my sisters, it's like having the Lincoln Library times ten. I'm pretty sure whatever happened in my life, they'll help me remember it." Lori: "How about that time Lincoln tried to climb the shelves to get cookies?" [Flashback to that time with Lincoln on the shelves; he slips and gets his pants caught on the door handle; end flashback.] Lincoln:[uneasy] "That one I'd rather forget." [The girls continue laughing and Lincoln eventually joins in with them. They all gather together to share a tender hug. Clyde finally comes to, notices the precious moment, and captures it with his phone's camera.]
[The photo Clyde took is now uploaded into the Lincoln Library.] Lincoln: "Perfect start to the new Lincoln Library. Now with cloud backup." Lori:[off-screen and angry] "WHO USED ALL MY LIPSTICK?!" [Clyde smiles guiltily.]
