The following is a transcript for the episode "The Write Stuff".
[The episode begins outside Royal Woods Elementary. Rita is in Vanzilla reading her book with a cup of coffee in her hand.]
Rita: [reading a page out loud] "'And as the footsteps grew louder, [sips her coffee] he pulled back the curtain, with a shaking hand and saw-'"
Lucy: [Appears on the passenger seat] "Hi, Mom."
Rita: [Startled] "Gahh! I mean, hi, sweetie. How was writing club?"
Lucy: "Sigh. I'm thinking of dropping out."
Rita: "Dropping out? But you were so excited to join."
Lucy: "That was before I knew Principal Huggins was in charge."
[Flashback to when Principal Huggins was in charge of the writing club.]
Principal Huggins: "To apostrophize, or not to apostrophize, that is the question, and a complex one at that." [Amir flops his head on the desk. Flashback #2.] "Today, I've got a fun writing assignment for you." [The students smile] "About the dangers of misusing the semicolon." [Amir flops his head on the desk again. Flashback #3.] "Now, pay close attention, make sure you're holding the pencil at the proper angle." [Notices something and shakes his head.] "No, no, Amir, you're at least three degrees off."
Lucy: "When do we get to actually write?"
Principal Huggins: "Fundamentals before fun, young lady. Now, let's see your erasing technique."
[Everyone flops their heads down on the desks. End of flashbacks.]
Lucy: "Writing used to be my passion. Now I don't even enjoy penning a simple eulogy."
Rita: [She stops Vanzilla and the tires screech.] "What is Principal Huggins thinking? Writing isn't about rules, it's about being creative! Getting inspired! Taking risks! Expressing your feelings and ideas!
[The light turns green and the car behind Vanzilla honks.]
Lucy: "Mom, the light's green."
Rita: "Yes. I see that." [Turns Vanzilla around] "Point is, I am going to talk to your principal."
[At school, Rita is in the office, standing next to Cheryl's desk.]
Cheryl: "I'm sorry, Mrs. Loud, but Principal Huggins is getting his performance review right now." [Whispers] "And between you and me and the flagpole, it is not going well."
[Superintendent Chen steps out of Huggins' office.]
Principal Huggins: "Superintendent Chen, wait. I haven't showed you my new color-coded demerit system."
Superintendent Chen: "I've seen all I need to see, Huggins. I'm giving you a rating of..." [Principal Huggins looks at Cheryl. Cheryl looks forward and Rita looks at Cheryl, and then Cheryl looks at Huggins, and Principal Huggins looks at Superintendent Chen.] "...mediocre." [Rita, Cheryl, and Principal Huggins gasp.] "Now, excuse me. I've got other principals to destroy." [She leaves]
Principal Huggins: [groans] "There's no pleasing that woman."
Cheryl: [clears throat] "Principal Huggins, Mrs. Loud is here with some suggestions for The Writing Club. She's a genuine author."
Rita: "I just had a few ideas to get the kids more excited about writing."
Principal Huggins: "Oh. So now my work with The Writing Club is mediocre, too? Well, if you're such an expert, maybe you should try running it yourself."
Rita: "I would love to!"
Principal Huggins: "Oh, I was being sarcastic. But then again, it would free up time for me to find ways to improve my rating."
Rita: [gasps] "Thank you, Principal Huggins! I won't let you down." [She leaves and shuts a door.]
Principal Huggins: "Maybe I could institute a school wide "no slouching" policy."
[Cheryl gets shocked after hearing this.]
ONE WEEK LATER...
[Cheryl opens the door of the writing club for Rita.]
Cheryl: "And here's where you can set up for this week's meetin'. Just give me a jingle if you need anything. I'm helping Principal Huggins conduct surprise posture checks."
Principal Huggins: [Seen chasing Artie down the hallway.] "Dombrowski, shoulders back!"
Cheryl: "Mm-hmm." [Leaves the classroom and shuts the door.]
[Rita walks over to the desk and places her stuff on the desk. Rita sees and picks up a note from Principal Huggins.]
Principal Huggins: "Everything you need to lead the club is in here. STICK TO THE BOOK!"
Rita: "Were the all caps necessary?" [Grabs the book] "Let's see." [Starts reading] "Common adverb errors." Noun versus pronoun." [Closes the book and becomes bored] "Snooze."
[She opens a desk drawer, puts the book inside it, and then shuts it. Just then, the door opens.]
Amir: "M-Miss Loud?"
Sasha: "Lucy's mom?"
Lucy: "What are you doing here?"
Rita: "I'm taking over the writing club for a while. Does everyone have their textbooks?" [The students open their backpacks and show Rita their textbooks.] "Great. Well, you can put them away, because we're going on a field trip!"
[The students put their textbooks back in their backpacks.]
Sasha: "We've never gone on a field trip."
Rita: "Well, I was thinking we can venture out to find some poetic inspiration."
[She leaves the classroom. The students leave too.]
[Later, Vanzilla arrives and parks at Flip's Food and Fuel.]
Haiku: "Flip's? What's poetic about a convenience store?"
Rita: "You might be surprised. Now, I want you to take note of everything you see, smell, taste, touch, and hear." [Gets out four notebooks. The students grab a notebook from Rita.]
Lucy: "Does it matter how we hold our pencils?"
Rita: "Not one bit."
[Inside Flip's, Amir opens one of the car air fresheners and gives it a whiff. He tosses it away and starts writing in his notebook.]
Amir: "Summer rain, spring daffodil..." [sniffs again and is surprised] "Pickled eggs?"
[The camera pans to Flip licking an egg. He notices Amir, and grins sheepishly.]
[Over at the Flippee machine, two machines are activated, mixing the Sour Cherry with the Black Licorice. Haiku observes the machine and is holding a notebook and pencil.]
Haiku: "Hmm..." [starts writing] "The way the sour cherry swirls into the black licorice reminds me of a sunset over the cemetery."
[Sausages are seen cooking and turning as the heat is sizzling, the popcorn sputters inside the popcorn machine, and the nacho cheese is popping as it boils in the nacho cheese machine.]
Lucy: [Begins writing] "I've heard these sounds before. But I've never really listened." [Stops writing and smiles]
[Later outside Flip's, The club is seen sitting at a table.]
Amir: "Flip. His past may be murky. His tooth may be jerky. But I think he's just quirky. Flip."
[The girls snap their fingers.]
Rita: "Nice job, Amir."
[Amir walks over to sit down.]
Haiku: "Hey, does anyone have a rhyme for "Flippee"?"
Lucy: "Hippy. Drippy. Mississippi."
Haiku: [Writes in her notepad.] "Love."
Sasha: "To the new and improved writing club." [Holds up her Flippee]
Lucy, Haiku, and Amir: "To the new and improved writing club." [hold up their Flippees]
[At the Petting Zoo, The writing club is watching animals, and holding their notepads.]
Rita: "Everyone, pick an animal, then try writing a story through its eyes."
[A screaming goat that has hair like Lucy's bleats.]
Lucy: "Yes, I sense our connection too." [Starts writing]
[At Sunset Canyon, the writing club is with Scoots.]
Scoots: [Off-screen] "Oh, why the heck would you want to hear my story?"
Rita: "Every life can inspire art, Scoots."
Scoots: "Humph. Sounds a little crazy, but fine. I was born in a stolen ice cream truck. Mother was jonesin' for some rocky road and wasn't taking "No" for an answer."
[The club starts writing.]
[Later, Vanzilla arrives back at the school.]
Rita: "Before you guys go home, I just want to say how proud I am of the brilliant work you've been doing. You deserve a chance to show it off. So next week's field trip is an extra special one: Open mic Thursday at the Burnt Bean!"
[The club gasps.]
Haiku: "That coffee house in the cool part of Fern Valley?"
Rita: "That's right."
Haiku: "College students hang out there."
Rita: "Now, get out of here you creative geniuses."
[Sasha, Amir, and Haiku clamour as they leave Vanzilla.]
Sasha: "All right!"
Haiku: "This is gonna be great."
Amir: "Maybe I could borrow my big brother's fedora."
Lucy: "Thanks, Mom." [Hugs Rita] "For everything."
ONE WEEK LATER...
[Rita appears in a black and white costume with a large pair of glasses, a teacher's fedora and a turquoise scarf.]
Rita: "Today's the day! How's everyone feeling? Nervous? Excited? Little bit of both?"
[The students are also wearing fancy dress.]
Sasha: "So psyched!"
Haiku: "Nervous, but zen about it."
Lucy: "I'm bursting with excitement."
Amir: "Is the fedora too much? Am I pulling it off?"
Principal Huggins: [offscreen] "Oh, I don't think you'll be pulling any of this off."
[They turn to see an angry looking Principal Huggins at the door.]
Lucy, Sasha, Haiku, and Amir: "Principal Huggins!"
Rita: [Nervous] "What a nice... surprise."
Principal Huggins: [Annoyed] "Spare me your pleasantries, Mrs. Loud. I know all about the little field trips you've been taking behind my back."
Rita: "Oh, well, I just wanted to show the kids that writing can be fun."
Principal Huggins: "No! No! Fundamentals before fun! It's all in the book I gave you, which seems to have gone missing."
Rita: "I'm sorry." [Gets the book from the drawer.] "I just found the material a bit dry."
Principal Huggins: "I don't believe I asked you for your review. From now on, you will follow said material and keep students in the classroom."
Rita: "But Principal Huggins, the kids are so excited about the open mic. Can't I at least take them to that?"
Principal Huggins: "Not if you wish to remain in charge of The Writing Club."
Rita: "But, but--."
Amir: "It's okay, Mrs. Loud. We don't have to go."
Sasha: "We don't wanna lose you."
Principal Huggins: "May I recommend starting on page 40? There's a neat little lesson about plural possessives." [Goes to sit down on a chair.]
[The kids look upset as they stare at Rita. Rita also looks upset. Later on...]
Rita: [Reads the book with very little enthusiasm.] "Unless the surname ends in an E-S." [Yawns] "In which case, the preceding rule does not apply." [The students flop their heads down on the desks once again.] "You see, Principal Huggins? This is exactly what I… [Realizes Principal Huggins is asleep. She looks out the window and sees Vanzilla, which gives her an idea. She writes a note and folds it into a paper airplane that hits Lucy's head. Lucy puts her head up and sees the note.]
Lucy: "Let's get outta here!"
[Rita gives a signal at Lucy and Lucy cracks a smile. Rita helps the students move out the window to escape the classroom. She then hears Principal Huggins snoring and looks over to him.]
Principal Huggins: [Snores] "Mediocre..." [Continues snoring. Rita climbs out the window and gets in Vanzilla along with the students.]
[Later on, they arrive at the Burnt Bean. A Manager is standing on stage with a microphone in front of a group of children. Mr. Grouse is also on stage.]
Coffee Store Manager: "Okay, okay, everybody. Let's give it up for Bud Grouse and his poem "My yard, My property." Okay, last call for any more performers in the house?"
Rita: [Opens the door] "Yes! There's a whole van load of talented young writers right here."
Coffee Store Manager: "Oh, okay, cool. Alright then, come on up!"
Rita: "This is it, guys. Have fun."
[The students clamour.]
Sasha: "Whoo hoo!"
Amir: "I'm so glad I have my hat."
[Suddenly, A horn honks outside.]
Lucy: "What's that?"
[The club looks out the windows to see Principal Huggins has also arrived - in his golf cart. He is not happy.]
Amir: "It's Principal Huggins! He found us!"
[Principal Huggins looks at the windows.]
Rita: "Don't worry. I'll take care of him." [The students leave Rita and take to the stage.] "Just get up there and perform."
[Rita looks out the window. As Principal Huggins gets out of his golf cart, a security guy appears.]
Mustache Guy: "Sorry sir, this is a no golf cart zone."
Principal Huggins: "No golf cart zone? I've never heard of anything like that."
Mustache Guy: [Taps Principal Huggins] "Listen, bro. Unless you're the kind of guy who isn't into following rules..."
Principal Huggins: "Oh, no, no, I love rules."
Mustache Guy: "Well, great. There's golf cart parking fifty blocks that way." [Points out said direction]
Principal Huggins: "Fifty blocks?"
Mustache Guy: "Uh, yep."
[Principal Higgins drives away.]
Rita: [Opens the door] "Thank you, sir." [Hands him the money]
Mustache Guy: "Oh, sure. No problem, lady."
[Rita goes back inside to watch the writing club perform.]
Lucy: "The hot dogs sizzle, the nachos cheese goes plop, in the snack aisle at Flip's, the symphony never stops. Thank you."
Coffee Store Manager: [Snaps fingers as well as everyone else.] "Alright. Let's hear it."
[The students take a bow.]
Rita: "Whoo! So proud of you, guys."
Principal Huggins: [Bursts though the door] "You!"
Rita: "Dang it."
Principal Huggins: [Walks towards Rita angrily] "Did you really think you would get away with this?"
Rita: [Sighs] "No. I knew I wouldn't. But I had to let these kids share the work they're so passionate about, even if it meant getting fired from the club."
Principal Huggins: [Angrily] "That's exactly what it means. You're out, and Huggins is back in. You hear that, kids? I'm in charge!"
Superintendent Chen: [offscreen] "Are you indeed?"
Principal Huggins: "Superintendent Chen. I can explain what these kids are doing in such a seedy establishment... for which you have a T-shirt and a frequent customer mug."
Superintendent Chen: "Huggins, I'm impressed. I don't know what you've been doing in that writing club, but you've clearly inspired these kids." [Huggins grows shocked to hear that.] "You know what? I'm going to improve your rating from mediocre..." [Huggins looks at Rita and the manager while they look at the kids and Rita and the manager look back at Huggins and he looks at Superintendent Chen.] "...to above average."
Principal Huggins: "Above average? Me?!"
Superintendent Chen: "You've earned it."
Principal Huggins: [Looks at Rita] "Actually, I haven't. This is the woman-- [--Swaps places with Rita.] to whom all credit belongs."
Superintendent Chen: "Really?" [Shakes Rita's hand] "Well done, madam."
Rita: "Thank you! But, you know, [Brings the Principal closer] uh, Principal Huggins deserves credit, too. He's given the students a very thorough education in the fundamentals, which are just as important as the fun."
Superintendent Chen: "Well, sounds like you two should run the club together."
Rita & Principal Huggins: "Together?"
Superintendent Chen: [Starts walking away] "Something to think about."
[The two smile at each other, liking the idea.]
[Later, the writing club is on a plane with Principal Huggins reading about gerunds out loud.]
Principal Huggins: "Alright, students, can anyone tell me what a gerund is?"
Sasha: "A verb that acts like a noun."
Lucy: "Always ending in "ing"."
Principal Huggins: "Excellent." [Puts his helmet on] "Now let's practice writing them." [Camera zooms out. Everyone is seen wearing helmets and strapped in their seatbelts.] "Take it away, Mrs. Loud."
Rita: "Roger!" [Starts an airplane. The plane then goes fast and take to the skies.]
Amir: "Wow, Lucy! Your mom can write, perform root canals, and fly a plane?"
Rita: [Shouts] "Alright, who's got a gerund?"
Sasha: [Shouts] "Ooh, I do! How about "flying"?"
Rita: [Shouts] "Nice! Let's write!"
[The plane writes down the word "flying" in the sky.]
Haiku: "Woo-hoo, I love writing."
Amir: [Shouts] "Soaring!"
Rita: [Shouts] "Good one!"
Haiku: "Hurtling?" As in toward the Earth?"
Rita: [Shouts] "Like this? All great examples. How about a gerund from Principal Huggins?"
Principal Huggins: [Starts to feel airsick and vomits.] "Retching!"
[The plane writes down "The end" in the sky.]