The following is a transcript for the episode "Tripped!".


Act 1

[In Rita and Lynn Sr.'s bedroom, the family is counting all of their money in the family jug of change. Lynn Sr. is tossing in coins as his family counts.]
Loud Family: "One-thousand seven-hundred ninety-seven, one-thousand seven-hundred ninety-eight, one-thousand seven-hundred ninety-nine... eighteen-hundred!"
Lynn Sr.: "There it is, gang! Eighteen-hundred smackeroonies in the savings jug! And you know what that means?"
Loud Family: [Singing while dancing in a conga line that carries throughout the house.] "♫ We're going on vacation! We're going on vacation! We're going on vacation! ♫"
Lincoln: [To the viewers, while the rest of the family continues conga-ing.] "This is a big moment for the Louds. We're finally taking a real family vacation! Not an overnight at Aunt Ruth's, or a campout in the church parking lot. A vacation vacation! But getting here wasn't easy."
[Flashback to Lana on the lemonade stand, and Lola standing on the barrel box.]
Lincoln: [narrating] "In a family this big, a vacation costs a lot of money."
Lola: [uses a megaphone] "Line up for lemonade!"
Lincoln: [narrating] "So we all had to do our part."
Woman: [walks by] "Oh, no thank you."
Lola: [goes after her] "I said... [uses the megaphone again] ...line, up, for, LEMONADE!!!"
Woman: [runs back, scared] "I'll take five."
[She holds up her money and Lana makes five cups of lemonade. Lana and Lola put their contribution into the jug. Another flashback shows Luna playing her guitar while people walk by and put money in her guitar case.]
Luna: [singing] 🎵 So many places I wanna go, but I'd never get anywhere, without some dough 🎵
Mr. Grouse: "Hey, Loud! I'll pay ya just to stop making that horrible racket!"
Luna: [puts her guitar away] "Whatever works, dude. Vacation, all I ever wanted."
[Luna puts her contribution into the jug. Another flashback. At the IT offices, there's a line of food trucks. Lori is shown to be in a food truck named "Rock Taco", taking orders.]
Lori: "Got it. Dad, I need 3 more Lynn-sagnas. Two with extra sauce."
[Lynn Sr. is shown to be in the kitchen, making the orders. However, he's pretty packed up.]
Lynn Sr.: [overworked] "Honey, please discourage special orders. I'm backed up in here."
[Lori and Lynn Sr. dump their contribution into the jug, Lynn Sr. notices something.]
Lynn Sr.: "Oops. That was a mushroom."
[Another flashback. It's eight-thirty-one at night at Rita's dentist and Rita is working on the woman from the lemonade stand's teeth. She gets tired and falls asleep.]
Woman: "Hey!" [wakes Rita up with a water tool.]
Rita: [wakes up] "Oh, sorry. I've been working a lot of overtime lately."
[Rita puts her contribution in the jug. She notices something.]
Rita: "Whoops. That was a molar."
[Another flashback shows Leni running a fashion advice stand and is giving some to Jancey Yates.]
Leni: "Cinch that with a belt."
[Jancey puts a coin in Leni's cup, and walks away, while the woman from the lemonade stand and the dentist office walks up.]
Leni: "Live on the edge with a polka-dot skirt."
[She puts a coin in Leni's cup and walks away.]
Leni: [clearly disgusted by her next customer.] "Ugh, no, no. What did I tell you about wearing sock with sandals?"
[It's revealed that the customer is Mr. Grouse, who's wearing red shorts, and socks with sandals.]
Mr. Grouse: [sighs as he puts a bunch of coins in Leni's cup.] "Oh, only if they're colorful or ironic."
[Leni puts her contribution in the jug. Another flashback shows Lynn on a snowy, winter day knocking on someone's door carrying a snow shovel. An old woman answers it.]
Lynn: "All done, Mrs. Parker" [It reveals that Lynn shovelled Mrs. Parker's walkway and the walkway next to it.] "I also do furniture moving and jar opening. Keep it in mind."
Mrs. Parker: "Oh, it's my lucky day. I dropped a jar of pickles under the sofa."
[Lynn puts her contribution in the jug. Another flashback shows Luan entertaining at a child's birthday party as a clown. She rolls up her sleeves and pulls out a penny from behind a boy's ear, then another one, then several more after that and the children cheer. She later puts her contribution in the jug out of her ear. Another flashback shows Lucy serving a funeral with four little kids in a bathroom.]
Lucy: "Dearly beloved, we gather today to say goodbye to Dorothy. She lived life to the fullest, whether she was swimming around in her castle, blowing bubbles, or eating rocks. Turns out that last part wasn't the best idea." [flushes Dorothy down the toilet and hands a little girl a tissue.]
Little Girl: "Thank you. That was a beautiful service." [gives Lucy a sack of cash]
[Lucy puts her contribution in the jug. Another flashback shows Lincoln delivering newspapers, he throws one and it hits the top of a car, which triggers the alarm to go off. He throws another one and it scares a cat, who dives into the bushes, and crashes through the window. Lincoln puts his contribution in the jug and then realizes his pockets are empty. Another flashback shows Lily as a DJ and Lisa breakdancing at the Royal Woods Mall. Scoots, comes by and tosses a few coins.]
Scoots: "Slay all day, girl! Woo!"
[Lisa and Lily put their contribution in the jug. End of flashbacks as it cuts back to outside the Loud House.]
Lincoln: "Thanks to all our hard work, we saved enough money for a week at the Weeping Willow Resort & Lodge on Lake Michigan. We're talking bumper boats, horseback riding, and 26 flavors of fudge." [catches up with his family who is still doing the conga.]
Loud Family: "♫ We're going on vacation! We're going on vacation! We're going- ♫"
Mr. Grouse: [offscreen] "Hey, Louds! I'll pay you again to knock off that racket!"
Lynn: "We already have enough money."
Luna: [nudges Lynn] "Hello, road snacks?"

[Cuts to the next day; Lynn Sr. putting suitcases on top of Vanzilla.]
Rita: [Walking out with her things] "Let's see, work's taken care of, Mr. Grouse is keeping an eye on the house, Clyde and the McBrides are taking care of Walt, Geo, Charles, and Cliff."
Lynn Sr.: [singing] "♫ Just a few more things and we'll all be relaxing in the... ♫"
[He and Rita head inside, while the siblings, minus Lisa and Lily, come outside with their luggage, Lucy is dragging a coffin.]
Lola: [To Lucy] "Why are you bringing that on vacation?"
Lucy: "You have your sunblock, I have mine."
Lynn Sr.: [coming back out with another bag] "Whoa, guys, this is too much stuff! Something's gotta go back!"
Luna: [Kicks Lynn Sr.'s bag] "How 'bout this humungo bag?"
Lynn Sr.: "Absolutely not! That one's very important!"
[The bag opens up to reveal a bunch of jigsaw puzzles.]
Lola: "Puzzles?"
Lynn Sr.: "The bag stays!"
[The kids start complaining just as Lisa walks out and whistles to get them to stop.]
Lisa: "Enough! Stand back and let me work."
[Cuts to later, showing that Lisa has found a space for every piece of luggage in/on Vanzilla. The family, minus Lily, is impressed.]
Lucy: [to Lisa] "How did you do that?"
Lisa: "Quite simple, really. I merely used a formula combining elements of spatial analysis, and the basic physics theorem stating that for every object-" [realizes her family has gotten in Vanzilla; deadpanned.] "Don't ask if you don't really want to know."
Lynn Sr.: [from inside] "Sorry kiddo, we should get a move-on. According to the reviews, the hotel has a very strict check-in policy. If we're not there by eight o'clock, they could give away our rooms!"
Lana: [Just as Lynn Sr. starts the car.] "WAIT!" [Opens the door and whistles]
[In Lola and Lana's room, Hops, El Diablo and Bitey hear and head out through the doggy door. As they enter Vanzilla, El Diablo and Bitey go under the seat, while Hops jumps into Lana's pocket. Lana closes the door.]
Lynn Sr.: "Okay, here we go. Loud Vacation time! Can I get a 'What what?'"
Loud Family: [as the car pulls out of the driveway.] "What what?"
Rita: "WAIT!" [Lynn Sr. stops the car and she gets out.] "I forgot Lily's diapers!" [goes back inside and comes out looking sheepish.] "Turns out I also forgot Lily." [holds up Lily.]
Lily: [annoyed as Rita puts her in her seat.] "Poo-Poo!"
[Lynn Sr. starts the car and the family heads off.]
Loud Family: [singing] "♫ We're going on vacation! We're going on vacation! ♫"
[The Louds exit Franklin Avenue and head up to the Royal Woods Parkway.]

[Later on the road, an old-style horn honks and shows to be a red truck with a farmer driving in it right behind the Louds.]
Lynn: "Don't let that old geezer pass us, Dad! Floor it!"
Lynn Sr.: "Well, it's- It is floored!" [the truck passes them] "It's been floored the whole time!" [mumbling] "Dang show off in his hot rod."
[The Louds finally make it up the hill.]
Lynn: "Look!" [It shows that the truck is already going down.] "Come on, Dad! Let's get our dignity back!"
Lynn Sr.: "I'm right there with ya, LJ."
[Vanzilla starts overtaking the truck, as Lynn starts shouting "pass".]
Lisa: "Father, this is not advisable! Factoring in the angle of our decent, current wind speed, and the condition of this aging heap. I fear we are going to wind up-"
[Before she can finish her sentence, Lynn Sr. loses control of Vanzilla and crashes into a fence. The family is outside looking at the aftermath]
Lisa: "-Nose-first in a ditch."
[The bumper to Vanzilla falls off.]
Lynn Sr.: [gasps and hugs Vanzilla, while crying.] "My baby! What have I done?!"
Lana: "Stand back and let me work."
[Cuts to later, showing that Lana has gotten Vanzilla out of the ditch and repaired it.]
Rita: [impressed] "Wow! Nice job, sweetie. How did you do that?"
Lana: "Eh, it was no biggie. There was a crack in the cylinder block, so I just re-routed the exhaust manifold past the carburetor, and then-" [realizes her family has gotten in Vanzilla; deadpanned.] "Don't ask if you don't really want to know."
[Lynn Sr. is about to start the car, when suddenly...]
Rita: "Wait!" [Gets out and gets Lily, who looks annoyed and gets back in Vanzilla.] "Okay, now we can go."
[The farmer's red truck passes by them.]
Lynn and Lynn Sr.: "Dang it."

[Later, the Louds are still driving and the weather starts to get a little heated out there.]
Leni: "Oh, it's so hot. Dad, can you turn on the AC before my hair totally frizzes?"
[Lynn Sr. presses the button to the AC, which seems to be fluttering and then stops working. He presses the button twice after that.]
Lynn Sr.: "Huh. Doesn't seem to be working."
Lana: "Ugh, the coolant must've leaked when we crashed." [pulls out her toolbox] "Pull over, Pops. I'll check it out."
Lynn Sr.: "No can do. Remember, eight o'clock check in."
Leni: "Well, can someone just roll down a window?"
Lynn Sr.: "Sorry, honey, but if we roll any of these windows down, they're not coming back up."
Rita: "I know it's hot, but just pretend you're at the beach."
Leni: "In this? [points to her dress] Ugh, no!"
[The siblings see Lori snacking on some bean chips and not complaining.]
Lori: "Anyone want a low-cal bean chip?"
Lucy: "Vomit."
Lori: "They're delicious. And supes high fiber." [Farts]
Lisa: "Yes, apparently."
Lori: [defensively] "It was the seat! See?"
[A fart cloud comes out of Lori's seat.]
Siblings, except Lori: [Groan in disgust]
Lori: "Now it's not doing it."
[Lori's fart cloud goes all over Vanzilla. Lincoln and Lucy groan in disgust.]
Luan: "Suffocating!"
Lola: [Coughs] "Ack!"
Lynn Sr.: "Be strong, kids! No windows!" [Lori's fart cloud goes into the front seat] "Oh, agh, it's in my mouth!"
[Lynn Sr. opens up the windows and everyone exhaled deeply, except Lori, who blushes in embarrassment. Eventually, the wind blowing inside the van like a jet turbine is becoming a problem.]
Lynn Sr.: "This is better!"
Rita: "What?!"
[Rita lets go of the map and it lands in Lynn Sr.'s face. He screams in panic, and so does the family as they swerve off the road and crash into a section of porta-potties, which topple over like dominoes, and one of the doors to Vanzilla falls off.]
Lynn Sr.: [taking a few deep breaths.] "Is everyone okay?"
Person: [In one of the porta-potties.] "I've been better!"
[Lynn Sr. looks concerned as Lana jumps out and examines the broken door.]
Lana: "The good news is, the crash made the windows go back up. The bad news is, now we have no door. No way I can re-attach this baby." [looks up] "But I may have a solution."
[Cuts to later, showing that Lana has used Lucy's coffin as a serviceable door.]
Luan: "Nice fix, but we still have a grave situation!" [laughs] "Get it?" [realizes her family has gotten in Vanzilla; frustrated.] "What? Don't set me up if you don't wanna hear a joke!"
[As Luan gets in, Lynn Sr. starts Vanzilla, when suddenly...]
Rita: "Wait!"
[It reveals that Lily is on top of Vanzilla, looking annoyed. Rita reaches her arms out and gets her down.]
Lily: [annoyed] "Ah!"
[The family gets back on the road.]
Rita: "Who's ready for lunch?"
Siblings: "Me! Me! Me! Me!"
Rita: "Honey, let's start looking for a good picnic spot."
Lynn Sr.: "No time! We're behind schedule. We'll have to eat in the car."
Lynn: [Finds sandwiches inside a basket.] "I got this. Sammies coming your way. Think fast." [throws them to her other siblings.]
Lola: [Gets hit by a sandwich] "Watch it!" [Eats sandwich]
Lori: [Gets hit by a sandwich] "Ow!" [Eats sandwich]
Luna: [Gets hit by a sandwich] "Not so hard, dude." [Eats sandwich]
Lincoln: [Misses sandwich] "I can't catch."
[The kids and parents have finished eating their sandwiches. Rita crumbles up her wrapper.]
Rita: "Those egg salad sandwiches were delicious, honey. Thanks for making them."
Leni: "You're totes welcome, Mom."
Lynn: "Trash back here!"
[Luan, Lisa and Lincoln try to throw the wrappers in the bag.]
Luan: "Whoops."
Lisa: "Sorry."
Lincoln: "I can't throw, either."
Lynn: [Gives him a thumbs down] "Weak."
[Luna's stomach growls. Her face turns green and starts to feel nauseous. She takes her headphones off.]
Luna: "Whoa, guys, are you feeling alright? I'm not feeling too good myself."
[The other siblings get nauseous as well, except Leni and Lily.]
Lori: "Leni, what exactly did you put in those sandwiches?"
Leni: "I can't remember. I made them "weeks" ago."
Lincoln: "Leni!"
Lucy: "What?"
Luan: "That can't be good."
Leni: "Well, I was so excited for the trip, I wanted to get a head start!"
Siblings: [Groaning]
Lincoln: "Uh-oh. I think I'm gonna barf!"
Lisa: "I second that!"
Luna: "Puke fest!"
Lori: "Pull over, Dad!"
Lynn Sr.: "No time! Use a bag!"
Rita: "Lynn!"
Lynn Sr.: "Ok, ok!"
[Lynn Sr. stops the van on the gas station. The Loud family starts puking in the bathrooms and outside the bathrooms. Cut back to the Loud family in the van.]
Lori: "Leni, "you're" off lunch duty until further notice."
Lisa: "Yeah, let's just round that up to 'forever'."
[The family leaves the gas station as a car carrier passes them in the opposite direction. They notice the farmer from earlier have a flat tire on his truck.]
Lynn: "Ha, ha! Check out Farmer Speedy! Not doing much passing now, are you?"
Rita: [sternly] "Lynn, that's not very kind." [to Lynn Sr.] "Honey, we should help him."
Lynn Sr.: [sighs] "Okay. But only if it takes less than ten minutes!"
[Lynn Sr. stops the van and the family gets out. He also failed to notice that he accidentally kicked the gear shift into reverse and Vanzilla starts rolling backwards, unnoticed by the Louds.]
Lana: "Need a hand with that flat, buddy?"
Farmer: "Oh, that'd be swell. The spare is buried under all these crates." [takes out a crate]
Lana: [takes the crate] "Not a problem. Louds, assemble!"
[The family gathers around Lana and she gives the crate to Lincoln. Lana jumps into the back and the siblings are passing the crates around and putting them in a pile while the parents are having a conversation with the farmer. Meanwhile, Vanzilla seems to have roll backward onto the car carrier, which has parked on the gas station. Hops, El Diablo, and Bitey pop up; Back with the Louds...]
Lana: "Last one!" [gives the last crate to Lisa. She grabs the spare tire, hops out the truck, and gets out a scissor jack to position where the tire should go.] "Huh, I haven't worked one of these babies before." [to the farmer] "1920?"
Farmer: "'21."
Lana: "12 banger?"
Farmer: "16."
Lana: "Ha, ha. Nice."
[Meanwhile, the car carrier driver comes out the restrooms and gets in as the horn blares. Back with the Louds, Lana has finished putting the spare tire on while the rest of the siblings finish putting all the crates back onto the truck.]
Lana: "There. This should get you where you need to go. But keep it under 50." [puts her wrench back in her toolbox.]
Farmer: [tips his hat] "Much obliged for all your help, folks. Wish I could repay you in a bigger way, but..." [gives a crate to Lynn Sr.] " about you take some of my cherries for the road."
[The twins grab a couple cherries and taste them.]
Lola: [gasps] "These are delicious!"
Farmer: "It's all about using the right manure."
Lola: [notices what the farmer meant and spits them out.] "Blegh!"
Lana: [Likes them] "Yes. I'm picking up notes."
Farmer: [in his truck] "You have a nice day now." [drives off as the family waves goodbye.]
Lynn Sr.: "Okay, gang. Let's get back on the road."
[The family notice that Vanzilla is not there.]
Rita: [gasps] "Where's Vanzilla?!"
[Rita's question has been answered when they see Vanzilla on the car carrier and is driving off past them. The family screams in horror.]
Lynn Sr.: [Chasing after it] "Ah, you can't take my girl!"
[The girls and Rita are following behind, shouting at the driver to stop. Lincoln runs up and stops to catch his breath for a second]
Luan: "No! That's our car!"
Lincoln: [To the viewers] "Well, there goes our vacation."
[End of Act 1]

Act 2

[With their mode of transportation gone, the Loud Family is sitting on a curb near the gas station where they used the bathroom. Lynn Sr. just hung up the payphone.]
Lynn Sr.: "Okay, guys. I called the cops and they're gonna try to track down Vanzilla."
Lincoln: "I can't believe we're gonna miss out on the bumper boats."
Lori: "And the horseback riding."
Lola: "And the fudge! [Whines] Oh, the fudge!"
Lynn Sr.: "Hang on. Our vacation's not over yet. We just need to find a way to get to the hotel."
Lynn: "Boom! There's a bus station right down the street!"
[The family gets up and cheers as they head to the bus station.]
Lincoln: "Alright!"
Lori: "We can still do this."
Rita: [realizing something] "Oh, wait. I just remembered..." [to Lynn Sr.] "...your wallet and my purse are both in Vanzilla."
[Lynn Sr. looks over Rita's shoulder and sees a place called The Mud Flap Café. It looks like they are having an open mic contest, and the winner gets a cash prize.]
Lynn Sr.: "'Open mic contest?'" [gets an idea] "We'll just have to raise some cash. And Ol' Ding-a-ling Loud has a plan."
Lisa: "Now, Father, don't be so hard on yourself. Anyone could've lost the van."
Lynn Sr.: "What I meant was, Ding-a-ling as in..." [pulls out his cowbell] " cowbell!" [starts playing it.]
Lisa: "Ah."
Lola: [as Lynn Sr. plays his cowbell] "So, he doesn't have his wallet, but he has his cowbell?"
Lisa: "So both definitions of "Ding-a-ling" apply."
[Cut to outside shot of The Mud Flap Café.]
Waiter: "The Mud Flap Cafe is pleased to present... the Load family."
Lola: "Loud!"
Waiter: [Thinking Lola means him] "The Load family!"
[Cuts to the Louds on stage wearing sunglasses. They begin performing.]

Lynn Sr.:
♫ Wanted a family vacation
Just to get out of town
Had it all planned
Packed up the van
Ended up in a ditch somehow
We've got the blues, baby
Those road trippin' blues ♫

Lori, Leni, Luan, Lana, Lola and Lisa:
♫ Bad, bad news. ♫
♫ These seats smell weird
The baby is crying
She's probably mad we left her behind ♫

Lynn Sr.:
♫ Road, road trippin' blues ♫
♫ La, la, la. ♫
Lynn Sr.:
AC broke in Vanzilla
The windows won't roll down
♫ The bean chips of doom ♫
They spread noxious fumes!
[Also choking]
Can't breathe!
I think Mom passed out.
Lynn Sr.:
♫ We got the blues, baby.
Those road trippin' blues ♫

Lori, Leni, Luan, Lana, Lola and Lisa:
♫ Bad, bad news. ♫
♫ The dog ran off.
The baby's still crying
At least we didn't forget her this time ♫

Lynn Sr.:
♫ Road, road trippin' blues. ♫
♫ La la la.
It was one big family throw up
(Glaring at Leni) From the egg salad gone wrong
And that's how all of us wound up,
Broke on stage singing this song ♫

♫ Broke on stage singing this song ♫
Lynn Sr.:
♫ Road, road trippin' blues. ♫
♫ Yeah. ♫

Lynn Sr.:

[The audience cheers at their performance and throws money around.]
Luna: [picks up some cash] "Looks like we got a ticket to ride, dudes!"

[Ticket transition; The Loud family are getting ready to head on the bus while Rita does a head count.]
Rita: "seven, eight, nine, ten... Dang it. Forgot Lily again."
Lily: [angrily] "Goo!"
Rita: [shows that she was holding her the whole time.] "Oh. So, who are we missing?"
[Just then, an electric guitar can be heard playing inside the cafe, which could only mean one thing...]
Family: "Luna!" [run back inside to get her.]
[At that moment, the bus they were supposed to go on leaves and another bus takes its place, unbeknownst to the Louds.]
Bus Driver: [getting out] "Oh, gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee."
[Luna is still rocking out on stage when Lynn appears.]
Lynn: "Luna, we're gonna miss the bus!" [grabs her]
Luna: [As her family carries her out.] "GOODNIGHT, MUD FLAP CAFE!"
Crowd Member: "We love you, Load!"
[The Louds gets inside the bus.]
Lynn Sr.: "Let's save this vacation!"
Bus Driver: [gets back on the bus and looks behind him to see the Loud family.] "Oh, I just thought I was transporting one. Oh well."
[The bus drives off and it reveals that they're actually in a prison bus.]
Lincoln: "Where'd all the other passengers go?"
Lola: "Who cares? We got the bus to ourselves."
Luan: "Well, except for him."
[The Louds look back to see a prisoner handcuffed at the very back seat and is growling.]
Rita: "Honey, do you think there's something strange about this bus?"
Lynn Sr.: "Well, I've never seen one with shackles... [holds up a pair of handcuffs] ...but it's probably a safety thing."
Rita: "Or maybe, it's a prison thing."
Lynn Sr.: [gasps] "You're right. Which means that guy back there is..."
[Rita and Lynn Sr. look back at the prisoner in fear. Lily is patting the prisoner's face, and Lana is observing his tattoos.]
Lana: "Cool tattoos, mister. But I think your tattoo artist forgot to give this lady clothes. Don't worry..." [pulls out a red marker] "...I'll fix it." [draws on his arm]
Leni: [to his right] "O.M. Gosh. I am totes obsessed with your bracelets. Can I try them on?"
Prisoner: "Uh...sure. If you can get 'em off me."
[Leni pulls out a hair pin, and unlocks the prisoner's handcuffs. Meaning he is now free.]
Lynn Sr.: "STOP THE BUS!"
[The bus driver stops and drops off the Louds in the middle of a highway. Lily sees the prisoner open the back door of the bus, jump off, and land in the bushes. She giggles at this.]
Lynn Sr.: "Chins up, family. This vacation isn't over. Surely, some good Samaritan will give us a ride." [notices a car coming] "Oh, here we are."
Woman Passenger: [notices them; nervously] "Keep going. Don't make eye contact."
[The couple bury their faces in some maps as they drive by.]
Lincoln: "Aw, come on!"
Lynn: "Weak!"
Lisa: "It's clear what the problem is here. No motorist is going to pick up a family of 13. I suggest we employ a technique known as "Hide the Iceberg". We put our best 10% forward, and conceal the rest."

[Cuts to Rita and Lily standing on the side of the road, while the rest of their family is hiding in the bushes with sneaky looks on their faces. Rita holds Lily out and Lily gives a thumbs up, just as a car comes along. It's revealed there's a man, a woman and a girl in said car.]
Man in Car: [concerned] "Oh, look at that poor lady and her baby. [to his wife] Pull over."
[The woman pulls over the car, just as the rest of the Louds come out, screaming. The family in the car gasps, just as Lynn Sr. comes out, wailing and wearing some sort of grass outfit.]
Lynn Sr.: [jumping on the windshield] "HI! WOULD YOU MIND PULLING OVER, PLEASE?!"
[The family in the car screams and swerves. The lady pulls a lever, and the windshield wipers go off, flinging Lynn Sr. off the car, who lands on his stomach.]
Luan: '"Well, that was a wash." [Laughs]
Lynn Sr.: "Too soon, honey."
[The Loud Family sit on the ground. Lana's stomach starts acting up.]
Lana: "Uh, excuse me, guys. I gotta lighten my load." [Walks in bushes] "Whoa! You guys have to see this!"
Rita: "Just fill up the hole, sweetie. We don't need to see it."
Lana: "Not that. I found our ticket out of here!" [her family walks in the bushes] "Though, watch your step. I also pooped."
[The Loud family looks to see that Lana found an aircraft plane and is sitting on it.]
Lucy: "Pfft, that thing will never fly."
Lana: "Leave that to me." [pulls out her tools] "I'll have her up and running in no time!"
Luna: "Well, even so, who's gonna fly it?"
Luan: "How about Lori?" [Lori smiles at this suggestion] "She's been crop-dusting us all day!"
[The whole family, except Lori, laughs at Luan's joke.]
Lori: [offended] "Excuse me. I told you it was the seat!"
Loud Family: "Riiiiiiight."
Rita: "I can fly the plane." [hands Lily to Lynn Sr.] "Pop-Pop taught me he flew jets in the military."
Lincoln: "Mom, that is so cool!"
Rita: "That's nothing. You should see me pop wheelies in a tank, baby."
Lynn Sr.: [gasps] "Is there anything else we don't know about you, honey? Honey? Rita?"
[Cuts to the plane all fixed up with a diaper attached to it.]
Lana: "Some parts were missing, so I had to improvise."
Lola: "With a diaper?"
Lana: "A night time diaper. For extra strength. I even found some paint to give ol' shakey a face lift." [The front of the plane has an angry face.] "And I painted Lori on the crop-duster."
Lori: [scoffs] "It doesn't even look like me."
[Rita puts on airline goggles and starts the plane with her family on it.]
Lynn Sr.: Uh, you sure you know what you're doing? Got our whole family in here."
[Rita stops the plane and on top of it, she notices...]
Rita: "Ah! Except Lily!" [She gets her down as the others glare at her.] "Hey, that one is on all of you! I’m flying the plane here." [starts the plane again]
Lincoln: "Mom? You, uh...see the silo, right?"
[Rita doesn’t seem to notice, and everyone starts panicking, but Rita pulls up just in time and the plane flies over the silo and take to the skies. The family sighs with relief. During the flight, Lily sees something on the road.]
Lily: [Points down] "Ban-zilly."
Family: "Aww."
Rita: "Actually, sweetie, this is an airplane."
Lily: [With a more serious tone] "Ban-zilly! Ban-zilly!"
Luna: [Looks to where Lily is pointing] "Whoa, the Chill-ster's right, dudes. Look over there!"
[The family look, and see the car carrier that has their beloved Vanzilla.]
Lynn Sr.: "My baby! After that car carrier!"
Lincoln: "What about our eight o'clock check-in time?"
Lynn Sr.: "The way your mother flies, that shouldn't be a problem."
[The car carrier driver blows his horn at another driver on the same road.]
Driver: "Move it, slowpoke! I'm behind schedule!" [He goes around the driver and sees a sign.] "Speed limit enforced by aircraft? Yeah, I'll bet." [Through his carrier window, he sees the Louds' plane.] "Dang it! If I get one more ticket, I'll be driving a golf cart!"
[The driver drives fast and goes through a corn maze.]
Rita: "Pop-Pop taught me how to handle wise guys like this. Let's take it to him!" [flies after the driver.]
[On the car carrier, some of the Louds' stuff on top of Vanzilla start flying out.]
Luna: [Notices her drum cymbals] "My hi-hat! Bogus!"
Lynn: [Notices her exercise equipment] "My kettlebells! Crud!"
Lynn Sr.: [Notices something] "My puzzles! Ding dang darn it!"
[Instead of catching them, Lynn Sr. ducks. The driver goes through a barn, causing all of the Louds' stuff to fall off and Vanzilla to lose its top half.]
Lynn Sr.: [Horrified about the half broken van.] "AAH! MY BABY!"
Leni: "Yay! Now it's a convertible!"
Lynn: "Man, nothing stops this guy!"
Lincoln: "Wait a minute, we have a crop-duster."
Lori: [Still offended] "Ugh! Why are you guys always piling on me?"
Lincoln: "Lori, I'm talking about the plane!"
Lori: [gets it] "Ah."
Lincoln: "Get in front of him, Mom!"
[Rita flies the plane in front of the driver.]
Lincoln: "Eat hot fertilizer!"
[Lincoln turns the knob and green fog comes out of the crop-duster. The fog covers the driver's windshield, causing him to scream and crash into a bale of hay.]
Driver: [gets out and runs] "You'll never get me, po-po!"
[The family cheers in victory.]
Lisa: "Flying H!"
[Rita lands the plane and they rush over to the van.]
Lynn Sr.: "Okay, people. We've got a check-in to make!" [looks at Vanzilla close up] "Ah--uh, it's okay. It's just a little scratched."
[Hops, El Diablo, and Bitey pop up and are happy to see Lana again.]
Lana: [hugs them] "My babies! I thought I lost you!"
Lola: [sarcastically] "Wouldn't that have been tragic."
[Lily sees another bale of hay roll up to the plane and it reveals the prisoner from earlier. He gets on the plane and flies away. She giggles at this once again.]

[Nighttime. The Louds drive up a hill and finally make it to Weeping Willow with what's left of Vanzilla. And then the tires give out.]
Lynn Sr.: "It's one minute to eight o'clock. We're gonna have to hoof it!" [They get out and run inside the resort. Once inside Lynn Sr. puts some money on the front desk.] "Lynn Loud Sr. checking in."
Concierge: [types on her computer and notices something.] "Oh no. I'm so sorry, Mr. Loud. But you missed your check-in time, and we gave away your rooms."
Lynn Sr.: "But, but- But, but it's eight o'clock!"
Concierge: "Actually, sir..." [points to the clock] "'s eight thirty-five."
Lynn Sr.: [looks at his watch, only to find out it's broken.] "Oh, my watch stopped. How did that happen?"
[Flashback to when they were on the plane.]
Lynn Sr.: "My puzzles!"
[When he ducked, it turned out one of the suitcase's wheels managed to break his watch and he looks back. End flashback.]
Lynn Sr.: "Ah, please, can't you give us another room? We'll take anything you got!"
Concierge: [looks at the results] "I'm so sorry. The entire hotel is full."
Luan: "You don't know what we've been through."
Luna: "I've got a song about it!"
Rita: "Not now, honey."
Concierge: "I'd love to help you folks, but there's really nothing I can do."
???: "But there is something I can do."
[The Louds turn around and it reveals to be the farmer they helped earlier.]
Lynn: "Farmer Speedy?"
Farmer: "If it wasn't for you guys, I probably would've missed the check-in myself. So, the least I can do is help you, folks, out. You're staying with me."
Lola: "Well, that's sweet, mister, but we're a pretty big family. How would you have enough space for all of us?"
Farmer: "Oh, not a problem. I've got the whole top floor. Let me introduce myself, I'm Jerry Kling, the cherry king." [holds up a jar of his company-branded cherries.]
Lynn Sr.: [gasps] "What? I-I cook with your cherries all the time."
Jerry Kling: "Well, come on, folks. Let me show you to your quarters."
[The Louds chatter in excitement.]
Luan: "Aw, this was very cherry-table of you. Up until now, this vacation was the pits". [laughs]
Lori: [glares] "Luan."
Luan: "Okay. I'll can it." [laughs again]

[And so the next day, the Louds enjoy their vacation at the Weeping Willow. Lori, Leni, Luan, and Lucy are riding horses, but Leni is facing the wrong way. Luna, Lynn, Lincoln, Lana, and Lisa are on tubes in the lake squirting each other with water guns, Jerry and Lola are snacking on some of his cherries at the dock, and Rita and Lynn Sr. are relaxing while Lily makes a sandcastle.]
Lynn Sr.: "Well, honey, we made it. Our first real family vacation."
Rita: "I think we should make this a Loud family tradition."
[The couple clink their drinks together. Far away, the prisoner is still on the plane they used, celebrating his freedom.]
Prisoner: [laughs] "I'm free! Woo-hoo!"
[Just then, his celebration is cut short when the plane runs out of fuel and the engine shuts down. The plane starts to fall while the prisoner is still above the sky.]
Prisoner: "Dang it."
[He falls too and lands back in the local prison and a gate clanking shut is heard. The camera pans over to the crop-duster as well as the other parts of the plane in the trees and the crop-duster farts one last time.]

v - e - d The Loud House episode transcripts
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