Hello, Steven again. Right now, I'm releasing my own version of Shop Girl. In this one, I helped alongside Leni's siblings, however I feel worried about changing Leni, because she is one of my favorite characters of the shows. I changed a bit where Lori gets tackled by Lola, in this version, I'm the one getting tackled by Lola. I hope you enjoy it. I do not own the show, the characters, the locations, and the stories. It belongs to its rightful owners, the creators, the writers, the directors, and the producers. Enjoy!
Steven Lucas in The Loud House
Shop Girl
Originally Written by Sheela Shrinivas
Re-Written by Steven A. Lucas
[The episode begins early morning at the Loud House, the siblings, and Steven, except Leni, are in their pajamas eating cereal and watching TV.]
Leni: [Offscreen] "Hey guys, anyone seen my bus pass?"
Lori: "Did you check your purse?"
Leni: "Thanks, I got it. Did someone take the credit card?"
Lola: "Check your purse."
Leni: "Oh, right. Wait, my shopping list."
Lisa: “The purse, woman!”
Leni: [Walking in] "Culottes, jeans, pom-pom sweater."
Steven: Hey Leni. What’s up?
Leni: I’m fine. Thanks.
Lincoln: "Going shopping, Leni?"
Leni: "Not just shopping. Reiningers is having a huge two day, 25% off blowout sale, and I made up a dream shopping list for it. Yay, new wardrobe!" [Leaves, as her siblings bid her ado.] "Shoot, where did I put my purse?"
Steven and Leni's Siblings: "Check your arms."
[They return to their breakfast. A few hours later, they are in their regular clothes eating lunch.]
Leni: [Offscreen] "I'm back."
[The siblings look in shock to see that their sister has been beaten up as she is shown with her messed up dress, a cracked lense on her sunglasses, and is missing her left sandal.]
Lana: "Are you okay, Leni? Did you wrestle a bear?"
Lynn: "Where's your stuff?"
Steven: But, more importantly what happened to you?
Leni: "I didn't get any of it."
Lori: "What? Why?"
Leni: "Well, you know how shoppers can be. Sometimes, they can be a little grabby and pushy. And clawy and shovey."
Steven: Yeah, I always feel that. Especially on Black Friday.
Leni: Exactly.
Lola: "Ah, wait, did you let a bunch of greedy bargain hunters take your stuff?!"
Steven: That’s awful. How are you going to wear your new threads on any occasions that you’re doing?
Leni: "I don't mind. I'll just make new clothes with my old ones. Yay!" [goes upstairs]
Lori: [Takes out the remote] "Poor Leni. This always happens. She's too nice for her own good."
[Lola takes the remote from Lori and starts channel surfing.]
Steven: Guys, calm down. We know Leni still has a lot to learn, but she has the sweetest heart that we all know and love. I mean I do care about her. Maybe someday, she’ll grow up and start a life that depends on us.
Lisa: "It's true, her submissive nature makes her easy prey." [Lucy takes the remote from Lola.] "Much like the baby wildebeest of the serengeti."
Lana: "She needs to learn how to be a little tougher."
Lola: "A little meaner." [Gets into a fist fight with Lucy over the remote.]
Lynn: [Joining the fight] "More aggressive."
Lola: [To Lucy] "I WANT THE REMOTE!"
[The other sisters, except Lily and Steven, join the fight.]
Lori: "Give me that remote back!"
Lincoln: [Who also wasn't in the fight, but manages to grab the remote anyway and use it.] "More like us."
[Cuts to Leni sewing something in her room while her siblings come in.]
Lincoln: "Leni, how would you like to go back to that sale tomorrow, and get everything you wanted?"
Leni: "That's okay. I'm fine. [Shows what she's sewing] Look! I turned this nightgown into jeans! [realizes] Oh, wait. Now I don't have a nightgown. [Gets some other jeans] "Ooooh, I can make one out of these other jeans!"
[Steven and the siblings shake their heads.]
Luan: "Leni, [sits Leni down] You need to learn to stand up for yourself."
Steven: You must learn how to be mature and stand up for yourself, instead of people just stepping all over you.
Lana: 'Yeah, you don't wanna be wilted-beets in the spaghetti!"
Lisa: "Meh, close enough."
Lori: "But don't worry, we're to teach you how to become a more assertive, decisive person!"
Leni: "Well, okay. If you guys want. I'm just happy when you're happy."
Lincoln: [facepalms; sighs] "We have a lot of work to do."
Steven: But more importantly, it’s going to be a very long day.
[Later, outside the bathroom.]
Lincoln: "Tomorrow, you're going back to that mall as a new Leni. And the new Leni, doesn't let people cut ahead of her in line." [Leni nods, and Lincoln calls out to everyone.] "Ten, hut."
[The other sisters are lined up along the wall, Luan approaches Leni.]
Luan: "Now, you're number one in the bathroom line. Don't let anyone make you number two. [Laughs] Get it?"
Leni: I don't. But don't worry! No one's gonna cut!
Lynn: [acting; groans] "I'm feeling the surprise part of Dad's taco surprise! Oh, you gotta let me cut, Leni!"
Leni: "Oh, you poor thing! Go right ahead!"
[The other siblings groan.]
Lola: "Alright. Step aside and watch a pro do it. Steven, your assistance."
Steven: Sure Lola. As you know that I do take acting and improv classes. [clears throat; acting] "Hey Lola, I'm in a hurry! Let me go to the bathroom! I have a very important meeting!"
[Lola growls; Steven tries to cut, but Lola starts attacking her.]
Steven: "Ow! Why are you so freakishly strong?!"
Lola: [pinning Steven down] "I HOPE YOU LIKE THE TASTE OF FLOOR!!"
Steven: [panicking] Uncle! Uncle!
Leni: [taking notes] "Tackle, pin, catchphrase. Got it!"
Steven: Lola. Can you get off of me now!
Lola: [still pinning Steven down] I don’t hear the magic word.
Steven: Please!
[Lola stops tackling Steven, then Steven flops down the floor.]
Steven: [muffled to the floor] Thank you.
[Cuts to out in the backyard. The kids, minus Leni and Luna, pile some clothes on a table.]
Luna: "Second lesson, the new Leni isn't afraid to go after what she wants." [pointing to the table] "There's some rockin' threads on that clearance table, but you got major peeps blockin' your way. What are you gonna do, dude?"
Leni: [With determination] "I'm gonna get those threads!" [Marches up to the table with a serious look on her face, and politely taps Lynn on the shoulder.] "So sorry, would you mind moving?" [Tries to find an opening] "No? I can wait until your ready." [Walks away, as her siblings at the table sigh]
Luna: [Pushes Leni back. And to Lynn.] "Yo, LJ, show her how it's done."
Lynn: "With pleasure." [Runs off, and returns wearing her football helmet.] "Hut, hut." [paints black lines on her face.] "Take a hike!" [Rampages her siblings like football, spins a sweater over her head to celebrate, and starts doing a victory dance on it, much to Lori's charging.]
Lori: "Hey! Bobby gave me that sweater!" [Shoots Lynn a dirty look.]
Steven: Well, it was your sweater.
Leni: [Taking notes] "Run, block, do a dance. Got it!"
[Cuts to the kitchen.]
Lucy: "Third lesson, protecting your property." [Hands Leni a phone charger, which Leni takes.] "The new Leni doesn't let greedy shoppers steal her stuff."
Lana: "That phone charger is the only working one in the house. Your goal is to hold onto it, no matter what."
Leni: [Still missing the point of these training sessions, gets up.] "Oh, it's okay," [gives Lana the charger] "I can use the land line."
Leni's Siblings: [Annoyed] "Leni, no!" [put her back in the chair.]
Lana: "Put yourself first!"
Lori: [Takes the charger, sighs, and goes to the other side of the kitchen.] "I'll show you how it's done. I've been protecting my junk from you guys for seventeen years."
Steven: [confused] Wait, I thought it was sixteen years?
Lori: Don’t mind that one, Steven. Now listen to one of the keys of protecting your stuff. [wraps the charger around her under arm.] "The key is to use a good, firm armpit grip." [To her other siblings] "Alright, come at me."
Steven: Bring it on, gorgeous! Get her!
[They attack her while Leni remains seated.]
Leni: [Taking notes] "Armpit tuck, fall on floor, protect vital organs." [Leaves without saying anything else.]
Lori: [Not realizing that Leni has already left.] "Got it yet, Leni?! Ow! Leni!"
[The next day, Leni and her siblings are waiting in the line at Reiningers.]
Leni: "Thank you guys for all of your help. I'm so excited about the new Leni! Just one question: Where did the old Leni go?"
[Just then, Miguel shoves in front of Leni like she's not even there. Her siblings are not happy.]
Luna: "Hey dude! Bogus!"
Steven: Yeah! Get in the back of the line, you crook! [turns to Leni] Leni, show him what you’re made of.
Leni: [Clenching her fists, and making a face.] "I got this creep." [Attacks him the same way Lola did to Steven the day before, pins him to the ground.] "I hope you like the taste of flan!" [Turns to her astonished siblings.] "Was it 'flan' or 'floor'? I heard flan."
Lola: "Doesn't matter. You're a queen!"
[The guy runs away. Meanwhile, one of the store employees nervously opens the doors, and everyone starts rushing in. Leni makes a determined face, and rushes in as well. She makes her way to a swimsuit section, but sees a bunch of other woman taking the swimsuits.]
Leni: "Hut, Hut. Take a hike!"
[Leni shoves the women out of her way to reach the swimsuits. She gets one and starts doing a dance, with Steven, Lincoln and Lynn joining in.]
Lynn: "Woo! All day long, baby!"
Steven: [dancing] Go Leni! It’s your birthday!
[Next, Leni grabs a sweater of the rack, and some lady tries to steal it from her, but Leni grabs it.]
Leni: [Struggling] "Hey! It's mine! Don't even think about it!" [Hip checks the lady into a pile of clothes]
[Cuts to a montage of Leni grabbing clothes before others could get to them and puts them in her bag. Steven and the siblings watch Leni dragging two girls for a sweater, who also has a grip on it, but Leni takes it from them. The girls start attacking Leni, but she ends up winning and is twirling the sweater around.]
Leni's Siblings: "Yaaaay!"
Steven: That’s our Leni!
[Leni is now at the check-out line. Her siblings walk over.]
Luna: "You rocked!"
Luan: "Yay, Leni!"
Lana: "You crushed it!"
Steven: You slayed this mall-mageddon!
Luan: [laughs at his joke] Good one, Steven.
Leni: "A new wardrobe! I can't believe it."
Lynn: "Ah, we gotta celebrate. Pretzels and sodas. On Lincoln."
Lincoln: "Wait, why me?"
Leni: "Thanks, Lincoln. Meet you guys at the food court."
[The siblings leave while a guy cuts in front of her, the obnoxious guy who cut in front of her earlier addresses this.]
Obnoxious Guy: "I wouldn't do that." [points to Leni]
[The guy who just cut Leni turns around, sees Leni preparing to bull charge him, and makes a run for it, Leni smiles at this, while the obnoxious guy just keeps to himself. Cut to the siblings at the food court.]
Luan: "Wow. Leni really malled the competition."
Lucy: "People are going to think twice before crossing her."
Lola: "We changed her life." [raises her soda] "To us!"
Steven and the Siblings: "To us!" [clink their sodas together]
[Cuts back to Leni.]
Leni: [going through her clothes] "Hmm." [pulls out a top] "This top is perfect for a cozy Saturday." [pulls out the sweater] "And this sweater will look so good with my new nightgown jeans." [puts it back]
Mrs. Parker: "Are you sure you don't have any more of those polka-dot swimsuits?" [The clerk shakes her head.]"That's all my granddaughter wants. Well, that and for me to live forever but I can't promise that."
Leni: [Seeing that she had one, calls to Mrs. Parker.] "Here!" [Mrs. Parker walks up to her, and Leni takes her suit out.] "You should take mine."
Mrs. Parker: "Oh!" [Takes it] "You angel. Amy will be so happy."
[Mrs. Parker walks off, and another woman walks past but notices Leni's sweater.]
Woman: [Admirers the sweater] "That sweater is so cute, where'd you get it?"
Leni: "I think this was the last one."
Woman: [Disappointed] "Oh, it's hard finding sweaters that won't give me what my doctor calls 'Category Five Rashes'." [Laughs] "That's me, allergic to almost every fabric." [Starts off] "Well, enjoy it."
Leni: "Wait! I can't imagine how awful that would be, " [offers her the sweater] "here, take mine."
Woman: [Happy] "Aw, that is so sweet." [Takes the sweater] "Thank you."
[Just then a guy runs past and drops his credit card. Leni picks it up.]
Leni: [to the guy] "Excuse me, is your name "American Bank"?"
Tie Guy: [comes back] "Oh my stars, I am so stressed about finding a tie for my anniversary, that I must've dropped it! [Leni gives it back to him.] 25 years, it's a big one."
Leni: "You know, I'd be glad to help you."
Tie Guy: "But you'd lose your place in line."
Leni: [grabs her bag and gets out of the line.] "That's okay. This is more important."
[She and the guy leave to find a tie. Meanwhile back at the food court...]
Steven: So, we changed Leni.
Lola: Yep. I can’t wait to see what her future is like.
Lori: Yeah, someday she’ll become independent and more influential.
Steven: Oh guys. Um. Do you think we were pushing her too hard. I mean, we weren’t smothering her, are we?
Lynn: Nope. We just wanted her to win the game.
Luan: Yeah, there’s nothing that could “change” her appearance. [laughs]
Steven: Okay. Thinking about what Lola said. Can you all just imagine what her future will be. She’ll be like a beautiful swan, expanding her wings, just waiting to know what the world is coming to. She’ll thank us for everything that we practiced.
Lincoln: [drinking his soda] "Yep. Today could be the start of a whole new life for Leni."
[Starts fantasizing about Leni's future. Starting with her being the CEO of a major fashion corporation, and giving a presentation.]
Leni: "The ABCs of being a CEO."
[Next, fantasy Leni is signing a books titled "Taste the Flan" written by herself. Then they fantasize Leni being on a talk show.]
Interviewer: "Ms. Loud, you're the head of a fashion company, the best-selling author of 'Taste the Flan', and a role model for young women. To what do you attribute your success?"
Leni: "Well, I really owe it all to my siblings, see, there was this two-day blowout sale..."
[The siblings and Steven continue fantasizing, completely unaware of what Leni's doing back at Reiningers.]
Leni: [Giving a dress to a teen girl] "Problem solved, now you'll have something to wear to the dance." [They hug. Next, she gives a woman a blouse.] "You came all the way from Cheboygan for a flutter sleeve blouse? You should have it." [Giving some guy her culottes.] "Please, there'll be other culottes." [Giving a lady some pants.] "Send me a picture, I wanna see how those gaucho pants look in you."
[Leni finally gets to the front of the line, and puts the only thing she has left on the counter.]
Cashier: "This is a great find. I wish I had time to browse the racks."
Leni: "Oh, well, why don't you take it?"
Cashier: "Oh, oh, I couldn't do that, this is all you have and you've been waiting in line for so long."
Leni: "It's okay, I wouldn't even be shopping here, if it weren't for people like you working so hard."
[Leaves, while the cashier smiles, and gives the obnoxious guy who cut in front of her earlier a salute, he yelps and takes cover. Meanwhile, back at the food court...]
Steven: I know. Maybe she can live in a castle on a hill. With a giant closet where she can have room for her clothes she bought.
Lola: "No, the castle Leni's gonna live in, will have three swimming pools!"
Lincoln: "Oh, and a chocolate fountain!"
Lana: "A zoo!"
Steven: Well I’m sticking with the whole closet idea. And also the swimming pool.
Lola: [noticing Leni] "There she is!"
Leni: [as her siblings and Steven cheer] "Hey, you guys!"
Lincoln: [noticing something] "Uh, Leni, where are your bags?"
Steven: Yeah, and what happened to all the clothes that you were going to buy?
Leni: "Oh, I didn't buy anything. I gave all my clothes away."
Lynn: "What?! After all our training?!"
Steven: Aw man. I knew it. We were forcing her.
Lincoln: "What happened to the new Leni?!"
Leni: "She wasn't really me. I'm sorry, you guys. It did feel good to get what I wanted, but it felt even better to give other people what they wanted."
Luan: "Leni, we're worried about you. How are you going to make it in life if you keep putting yourself last?"
Lori: [holds up her phone; Bobby is on the other line.] "Boo-Boo Bear and I cannot support you forever."
Steven: Come on guys, don’t feel disappointed. We cannot change who Leni is, because she has a bigger heart and a great mind of fashion. I mean, we really tried so hard to make it this far. But the old Leni is the Leni I truly care about.
Leni: You really mean that.
Steven: Yes. That’s why I like you. You are a true kind independent girl that everyone should love you for.
Mrs. Parker: [Walks up to Leni] "Oh, there you are, dear!" [holds up a present] 'I got you a little something to say thanks."
Leni: [takes the present] "Awwww, you shouldn't have! I hope your granddaughter loves the suit."
Mrs. Parker: "I know she will." [walks away] "I wish more young people were as sweet as you are."
Lola: "Presents are nice, but you know what's nicer? All those clothes you gave away!"
Steven: Lola! Can we all just be nice and we must learn to be thankful to Leni.
[Just then, a waiter comes in with a cart of fries.]
Waiter: "Excuse me, Miss, we have the number three combo, with fries, for everyone in your party, courtesy of that woman over there."
[The woman from before waves to Leni, and gestures to the sweater Leni gave her.]
Leni: [Applauding, while Lola and Steven takes the fries.] "Yay! You look great! No rashes."
[Just then, the tie guy and his wife walk up to Leni.]
Tie Guy’s Wife: "Excuse me, Miss." [Her husband loves the tie] "Thank you so much for helping my hubby, he has never looked so cute."
Tie Guy: [Pulls out a gift card] "We got you a gift card to the fro-yo shop."
Leni: "That's so sweet of you, that's my favorite place." [The lovely couple starts off.] "Happy anniversary Mr. and Mrs. Bank."
[The couple has no clue what that means.]
Steven: Uh, is it just me or does that couple almost look exactly like your parents!
Lincoln: Oh yeah. They do almost have a resemblance to one another.
Steven: Anyway, Leni, we are very sorry that we are teaching you to be assertive and aggressive. It’s just that we are worried about you, because those angry shoppers just push all over you. But all I know is that you still have a pure heart that would never go away. And I respect your kindness with mine.
Leni: Aw. Thank you, Steven. You are the only person that still cares.
Lori: "Leni, it's great that all these people are doing nice things for you, but I still think it's more important that you-"
Ms. Carmichael: [Walks up to Leni and shakes her hand.] "Excuse me, I wanted to meet you. I'm Ms. Carmichael,
I'm the manager of Reiningers, and I've been hearing such wonderful things about you. You know, we could use a sales employee with great customer service skills."
Leni: "Great, let me think about it, and get back to you with some names." [Steven and her siblings clear their throats and gesture to her, and Leni realizes.] "Oh, you mean me."
Ms. Carmichael: "Hours are flexible, and employees get a fifty percent discount on all merchandise."
Leni: [Touched] "It's like there's a blowout sale happening in my heart."
Ms. Carmichael: "I'll take that as a yes." [Leni's siblings smile] "Stop by whenever to fill out paperwork."
Leni: [As she and Ms. Carmichael leave.] "I'll see you back at home guys."
Lincoln: "Wow, we were so wrong about Leni."
Lynn: [Eating her fries] "Yeah, guess we don't have to worry about her after all."
Steven: Yeah. At least we did learn that we can never change a person from the way that her heart follows.
Lola: [Looking at her fries] "Hmm, if being nice does that much for Leni, I wonder what it could do for me. [She gets up from her seat holding her fries and walks up to the obnoxious guy.] Hey, mister? How would you like my fries?"
Obnoxious Guy: "Oh, no thank you. I’m trying to watch my cholesterol."
Lola: "Go ahead. Take them."
Obnoxious Guy: "No, really. I'm good."
Lola: [Threateningly] "TAKE THE FRIES!"
Obnoxious Guy: [Screams] "What is up with this mall?!" [As he runs off in fear, Lola glares at him.]
Steven: Well that’s you get for cutting in line, dude! Sheesh! What’s his problem?
Lincoln: "Maybe stick to what you know, Lola."