Disclaimer: I don’t own the Loud House.[]
Lincoln stood by the window as he anxiously watched the mailman place some letters into their mailbox. He dashed outside the house and quickly came back inside with the mail.
“Junk,” Lincoln said as he looked through the mail, “junk, flyer, yes!”
Lincoln held up a small letter addressed to him. He opened it up to find a birthday card from Pop-Pop and fifty dollars. He rushed upstairs to his room and added the money to the stuff he had in his piggy bank.
“Two-hundred and fifty,” He counted, “and this makes three-hundred. Yes, the weeks of saving and various birthday bonuses have finally paid off! Now I can buy the Game-Master System.”
Lincoln dashed out of his room to head to the Royal Woods Mall, only to accidentally bump into Leni; knocking both of them to the floor.
“Sorry Leni,” Lincoln said as the two stood up.
“That’s ok,” Leni sadly replied.
“Is something wrong?” Lincoln asked.
“Well Fashion Its has the cutest pumps on sale,” Leni explained, “but I’m twenty bucks short and the sale ends today.”
Lincoln felt bad for Leni, yet he didn’t want to give up any of his money. However, he just couldn’t turn his back on a sister.
“Twenty dollars wouldn’t hurt that much,” Lincoln thought, “and I can always borrow money from Clyde.”
Lincoln took a twenty-dollar bill from his pocket and handed it to his older sister.
“Here you go,” He said.
“Thanks Lincoln!” Leni cheered as she took the money, “I’ll pay you back as soon as I can.”
Then she ran off while Lincoln followed her. But he was soon stopped by Luan.
“Hey Lincoln,” Luan said, “I got a new joke book and I need somebody to help me figure out the good jokes.”
“Could you tell them to Luna,” Lincoln suggested.
“She has a jam session right now,” Luan answered, “please Lincoln, this won’t take long.”
Lincoln looked at his watch and saw that it was only 2:00 PM; meaning that there was plenty of time before the mall closed.
“I guess I could,” He replied.
“Great!” Luan said as she dragged him into her room. Then he spent the next twenty minutes listening to some of the dumbest puns, one-liners, and knock-knock jokes. But Lincoln didn’t seem to mind as Luan was enjoying herself, and the thought of the new Game-Master system didn’t dampen his spirits. The comedy ended when an upset Luna walked into the room.
“Argh,” She groaned.
“What’s wrong?” Luan asked, “you seem off beat, get it.”
“I burned my amp,” Luna explained, “now I can’t jam for a while.”
“Can you buy a new one?” Lincoln said.
“Not for a while,” She replied, “I need fifty bucks.”
“I guess you can borrow money from me,” Lincoln stated as he handed his older sister money.
“Thanks bro!” Luna said, “I’ll pay you back as soon as I can.”
“I guess I can also borrow money from Rusty,” Lincoln thought as he walked out of his sisters’ room, “I’m sure he’ll say yes if I let him play it with Clyde and me.”
“Hey Lincoln,” Lucy said as she appeared out of nowhere and startled him.
“Hi Lucy,” Lincoln replied.
“I just wrote some new poems and I want your opinion on them,” Lucy stated.
“Well I kinda have other things to do,” Lincoln said.
“Sigh,” Lucy responded, “I guess I can find someone else. It’s just that Lily also wrote her first poem and I wanted somebody to encourage her.”
“I guess I could listen for a while,” He told his younger sister.
“Thanks Lincoln,” Lucy said as they walked to her room.
There Lincoln listened to four long, dark, and depressing poems from Lucy and a small, cute poem from Lily. He didn’t get most of what they said since he was too busy thinking about his Game-Master and all the games he would play on it.
“Great poems guys,” He stated as he made his way out of Lucy’s room.
Lincoln looked at his watch and saw that it was now 3:00 PM. He still had plenty of time to make it to the mall, but he didn’t want to encounter any more sisters. Lincoln made his way out of the Loud House and was quickly stopped by Lynn and Lana, who were wearing wrestling masks.
“Hey Lincoln,” Lynn said, “the Lucha Libre Junior Mud Wrestling Tournament is coming up and we need somebody to practice with.”
“I don’t know …” Lincoln started.
“Please,” Lana begged.
Her eyes grew larger and Lincoln was unable to resist his little sister’s cuteness.
“Fine,” Lincoln sighed.
“Yay,” His sisters cheered.
Lynn put a wrestling mask on her brother’s head and dragged him to their mud wrestling ring. He did his best to keep up with his sisters, but still found himself on the receiving end of various body slams and suplexes; luckily the mud softened the blows. The trio finished after what felt like hours to Lincoln.
“Thanks Lincoln,” Lana said.
“We’ll be sure to call you for the trio’s tournament,” Lynn added.
“Fine with me,” Lincoln said as he took his mask off, “now to make it the mall.”
Lincoln started to run but quickly stopped when he heard a small snapping sound under his foot. He looked down and saw a small, jeweled tiara that had been broken in two.
“My Little Miss Sweetie Pie tiara!” Lola cried, “it’s ruined!”
“I’m sorry Lola,” Lincoln said.
Then Lola jumped onto her brother and pinned him to the ground.
“You’re going to pay for this Lincoln Loud!” She warned, “that will be eighty dollars.”
“I kind of need that money,” Lincoln begged, “could you wait a week?”
“You give me the money or I’ll tell Mom that you wrecked the rose bushes!” Lola threatened.
Lincoln handed his younger sister money the second she said that.
“Thank you, Lincoln,” She said as she released him.
“I doubt my friends can loan me enough,” He sadly thought as he looked at his remaining hundred and fifty bucks, “I guess I’ll have to ask Lori for money.”
Lincoln shuddered at the thought of asking his oldest sister for money. Doing so tended to come with strong interest rates; not to mention being forced to do difficult favours whenever she wanted you to. But Lincoln really wanted his Game-Master, so he made his way back into the Loud House and up the stairs to the bedrooms.
“Somebody help me!” Lisa called out.
Lincoln dashed to Lisa’s room to find her fighting off some odd, purple, octopus-like mutation. Lincoln ran into the room and picked up some whips. He handed one to his younger sister and the two of them fought the creature like lion tamers. The experiment knew that it was beat and dashed into the closet.
“Thanks Lincoln,” Lisa said, “if you ever require any assistance, I shall be glad to comply.”
“Could you loan me some money?” Lincoln eagerly asked.
“Sorry, but the freeze-ray incident and my experiments with the Royal Woods Faultline has left me financially depleted,” Lisa explained.
“Ok,” Lincoln sadly stated.
Lincoln slowly made his way to Lori’s room and knocked on the door.
“What is it Lincoln?” Lori asked.
“I uh, need to talk to you about money,” Lincoln started.
“Good,” Lori said, “because I literally wanted to talk to you about that too.”
“Really,” Lincoln stated.
“Yes,” Lori replied, “there’s the money I loaned you two months ago, the loan from last Arbour day, and the time you needed money for that special comic book.”
“Huh?” Lincoln asked, not really sure what to make of what she said.
“I think that should cover it,” Lori said as she took the rest of his money, “nice doing business with you.”
Lincoln walked back to his room, sulking all the way. His dream of owning a new Game-Master had been burst. He picked up a walkie-talkie to talk to Clyde and find a way to cheer up.
“This is Link to the Past calling Wind Waker,” Lincoln said into his walkie-talkie, “come in Wind Waker.”
But he didn’t get any response, only static. This upset Lincoln so much that he threw the walkie-talkie into a wall.
“Stupid sisters!” Lincoln complained, “stupid Clyde! I can’t believe nothing’s gone right! Not even on my Birthday!”
Lincoln continued to sit on his bed and sulk until Lori came to his room.
“Lincoln,” She said, “we need you to come downstairs this minute.”
“I don’t feel like it,” He replied.
“Look Lincoln,” Lori angrily stated, “I’m the oldest and what I literally say goes. And if you don’t come downstairs, I’m going to pound you.”
“Yes ma’am!” Lincoln replied.
As upset as he was, Lincoln knew he wasn’t a match for his oldest sister. He rushed downstairs to the living room to find what looked like a huge party. And all his friends and family standing around a huge cake.
“Surprise!” They all said, “happy birthday Lincoln!”
“Wow,” Lincoln replied. Seeing the big party helped him forget all his troubles.
“And here’s your present,” Lori said as she handed him a large box with red wrapping paper.
Lincoln quickly unwrapped the gift to find a Game-Master inside.
“Wow!” He exclaimed.
“And here,” Lori stated as she handed him some money.
“My money,” Lincoln cheered.
“None of us needed it nor do you owe us anything,” She explained.
“We specifically created these stall tactics and money troubles to keep you from getting to the mall,” Lisa added as she was joined by the same purple mutation they fought earlier, “as you can see, Norbert is very tame.”
Lincoln just stood, unable to think of anything to say. His sisters had really surprised him, even more than they usually do. Soon tears of joy rolled down his cheeks.
“You guys are the best,” Lincoln exclaimed all of the Loud siblings group hugged.