The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount Skydance and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[A rat is sniffing an old banana peel when it hears a bell. It squeals in horror and runs away as a bike rolls right over its head over a wooden ramp. Lana is riding the bike, and Hops is sitting on a chair attached to the top of her helmet. The bike lands hard on the ground and loses several nuts and springs as Lana pedals on.] Lana: "How ya doin' up there, Hops?" [Hops croaks and rubs his bottom in discomfort.] Lana: "My bad, bud. I didn't mean to hurt your little frog butt. Ol' Red doesn't ride like she used to." [The bike hops and loses more parts. Hops ribbits in excitement and Lana screeches to a stop just across the street from a shop. Inside the shop is a brand-new red bicycle with a flame-painted sidecar.] Lana:[She and Hops run up to the shop window.] "Whoa!" [Lana imagines herself racing the bicycle with Hops in the sidecar and several people on the sidelines. Lana launches the bike into the air and puts on a pair of sunglasses, then she lands and rides the bike into the sunset as the vision ends.] Lana: "Man, that bike is perfect for us!" [She glances at the bike and gasps. The bike's price tag reads $300.] "Three hundred bucks? How many years' worth of allowance is that?" [frowns] "Aw, there's no way we could ever afford it." Flynn:[offscreen] "Incoming!" [He is skidding out of control on his bicycle and zooms right past Lana. He crashes into a tree offscreen as a tire falls off his bike.] "Sorry about that, Lana. I sweat a lot when I ride, and sometimes my hands slip off the brakes." [His hands are drenched in sweat.] Lana: "Don't worry, Flynn. It's nothing that Wrenchy and I can't handle." [A montage is shown of Lana fixing Flynn's bike.] And finished! [Spins her wrench and blows the tip] Flynn:[Comes down from the tree] "Wow, that was awesome!" [Reaches into his pocket and pulls out some money] "Here, let me give you some of my allowance." [Hops grabs the money with his tongue, and Flynn is back on his bike.] "Well, see you in class tomorrow." [Flynn pedals away.] Lana:[A lightbulb appears over her head.] "Hops, I know how we can get that bike! There's gotta be other people in town who need their rides repaired. We can do mechanic work for money!" [Hops leaps into Lana's arms and croaks in agreement.] Lana: "I even know where we can set up shop!" [Hops croaks]
[The scene cuts to the Loud house garage.] Lana: "Our garage! It's perfect, huh, Hops?" [Hops croaks in question, then he hops off Lana's head and opens the door with his tongue. The inside of the garage is packed with boxes of old stuff.] Lana: "I know, I know. We gotta share the space with everyone else in the fam, but we'll make it work." [Hops drops into Lana's hand and croaks in agreement.]
[Later, Lana has attached a sign that says "Lana's Garage" to the top of the garage. Lana is working on an old lawnmower when she hears a horn. She looks outside and sees people lined up with their vehicles. The clients include Darcy with her bicycle, Meli with a toy jeep, a girl with a bicycle wheel stuck around her neck, and a farmer with smoke coming from his tractor. An elder gentleman pulls up behind the farmer, and the wheels fall off his motorized cart. Lana and Hops glance at each other and smile. Lana opens the oil fill cap on the motorized cart and places a funnel inside it. She grabs an oil can from her tool bench and pours the contents inside. But the entire cart melts to Lana's surprise. She glances at the oil can and finds a label taped to it from Lisa, revealing it was filled with radioactive chemicals.] Lana:[groans] "Lisa!" [The radioactive oil pours down the screen as the scene transitions to Lana working on Darcy's bike. Lincoln leaps into the garage dressed as David Steele.] Lincoln: "David Steele to the rescue!" [He does a backflip, but he accidentally hits a tire rack, and it tips over. Lincoln and Lana run out of the garage as the tires chase them. Next, Lana is tightening the wheel nuts on a car when Luna plugs her guitar into her amp. She strums a tune, and the soundwaves blast Lana out of the garage. Luna glances through the hole in the wall and sees that her sister has landed in the backyard tree. Lana spits out leaves and groans.]
[Leaves fall down the screen as the scene transitions. Lana dumps money from her mechanic work out of a can into her hand, only having twenty-one cents. She sadly puts the coins back into the can and places it on the tires.] Lana: "This is not working, Hops! We're never gonna make enough money here!" [Hops thinks for a moment, then he gets an idea and ribbits. Lana smiles.] Lana: "Not a bad plan, my frog man!" [She and Hops high five, with Hops using his tongue.]
[Lana is posting fliers across Royal Woods requesting a garage. She tapes them to a tree, a fence, the mail carrier's butt--much to her surprise--and the Food and Fuel. Lana and Hops walk away from the now-covered Food and Fuel, but then Hops leaps off of Lana's head and points at something, croaking. It is shown that immediately next to the Food and Fuel is a garage.] Lana: "Whoa! Giant door... Old motor oil stain... Spare tires... Wait. Does Flip have a garage?" Flip:[offscreen] "Eh, that depends on who's asking." [Flip comes out of the person door of the garage, drinking a can of nacho cheese. He tosses the can away.] "You ain't workin' for Big Bill's Underground Muffler Ring, are ya?" [He wipes the nacho cheese off his mustache.] Lana: "Not really sure what any of that means, but I'm just looking for a garage to do some repairs." Flip: "This used to be one." [He walks over to the car door and opens it.] "But it ain't available on account of it being Nacho's raccoon cave." [Inside, Nacho is shown playing video games wearing a headset and having bloodshot eyes. He loses the game and growls, throwing the controller onto the ground. Then he drinks an energy drink, crushes the can against his head, and throws it away.] Lana:[She sighs and walks away with Hops.] "Thanks anyway, Flip. I guess we'll have to find another place to make money for that new bike." Flip:[He smiles and his eyes spin like roulette wheels, landing on dollar signs.] "Bike money, huh?" [He runs up to Lana and Hops, stopping them.] "Wait! Eh, uh, hold your horses there!" [He runs into the garage and Nacho snarls. He and his couch are tossed out into the parking lot, and Nacho growls angrily, shaking his fist. It cuts back to Flip, who is holding the keys.] "The garage is all yours, Loud, under one condition: You gotta cut Ol' Flip-a-roony in on the profits." [He reaches inside and pulls out a book.] "I'll even teach you my fifty Phillipini tactics for a better business." [The book's title is "50 Phillipini Tactics for a Better Business", and a picture of Flip dressed like a rich businessman is on the front cover.] "Deal?" Lana:[She looks puzzled, but she shakes Flip's hand.] "Deal, partner!" [Lana sweeps the leaves out of the garage, replaces Nacho's gamer poster with a car poster, and replaces a stack of trash and dirty dishes on a shelf with a toolbox. Outside, a sign saying "Lana's Garage" is hung over the car door. Flip is lowered by a rope tied around his waist and writes "Flip and" on the sign using nacho cheese. But the rope snaps and he falls to the ground. Nacho is shown operating the crane that was carrying him, and he laughs in retaliation.]
[Lana opens the hood of Rodney Spokes' car.] Lana: "What's the problem, Mr. Spokes?" Rodney: "It's the strangest thing. My car's been making this weird buzzing sound." [Lana grabs a stethoscope and breathes on the chest piece, then feels around the engine. She reaches inside and pulls out a pipe, and something drips out of it. Lana tastes the substance.] Lana: "It's honey." [A swarm of bees flies out of the pipe and swarms Mr. Spokes' head. He runs out screaming as the bees swarm him while Lana looks on in horror.]
[Inside the Food and Fuel, Flip is looking at a receipt.] Flip: "Eh, that'll be fifty for parts, fifty for repairs, fifty for the cold compress, fifty for the calamine lotion, and..." [grins deviously] "Fifty for our bee fee." [Mr. Spokes, now stung all over his face and carrying a grocery bag, pays Flip $250.] Lana: "'Bee fee'? But we don't have a--" [Flip stuffs two rearview mirror dice in her mouth, stopping her talking.] [Mr. Spokes walks out carrying the grocery bag while Lana spits out the dice.] Lana: "What's the deal with that bogus fee?" Flip: "It's not bogus, it's business." [He places some of the money in the cash register, then he takes Lana's hat off her head and puts the rest of the money inside it.] "So calm down, li'l chief." [He places Lana's hat back on her head with the brim covering her face and walks away.] [Lana fixes her hat and takes out the money as Hops hops up. They smile as they place the money into the can, and Hops ribbits, but Lana is somewhat unsure about this.]
[Later, a van pulls up to the garage towing Scoots' scooter. The passenger side window rolls down, revealing Tyler is driving and Scoots is in the passenger seat.] Scoots: "My hog's on the fritz. Me and Bernie were drag racing around the Sunset Canyon lot and it seized up." [Flashback to Sunset Canyon; Scoots is on her scooter while Bernie is on a golf cart. Seymour is holding a racing flag when Scoots pops a wheelie burnout.] Scoots: "Eat dust, Bernie!" [Scoots speeds off cackling and crashes offscreen; end flashback.] Lana: "No worries, Scoots. We'll get her back up and hummin' in no time." Scoots: "Good, cause the open road is calling and Mama needs to answer!" [Tyler drives off, leaving a trail of dust. The screen shifts to Lana putting the key in the ignition and turning on the engine. The scooter shakes rigorously, and a cloud of exhaust shoots out the back, with the fan belt also coming out. Flip is standing behind the scooter, now covered in soot.] Lana: "Looks like the fan belt is shredded. We're gonna need to get a new one." Flip:[Brushes the soot off his face] "I got a better idea." [He takes off the belt from his pants and hands it to Lana, who is puzzled.] "This costs us nothing, and we can still charge Scoots for a new fan belt. Pure profit." Lana: "I don't know, Flip. That sounds kinda...unfair." Flip: "Listen kid, I've been doing this since before you were born." [Pulls out a wrench] "You just worry about the fixie stuff and I'll handle the rest." [Hands the wrench to Lana] "Now get to it!" [Lana opens the engine hood and fits Flip's belt into it. Hops jumps onto the seat and uses his tongue on the ignition. The scooter starts up smoothly.] Flip: "See? Works just fine. Always listen to your pal Flip." [His pants fall down to Lana's surprise. Flip tries to leave in embarrassment but trips.]
[Next, Lana is inspecting Cheryl and Meryl's tandem bicycle.] Lana: "Your chain is rusted through." Meryl:[Points at Cheryl and scoffs] "That's all Mer-Bear, I told her we need to stop off-roading!" [Cheryl giggles] "Anyhoo, just give us a buzz when she's ready for pickup. We'll be riding our spare in the meantime." [Outside, it is shown that the spare is a unicycle. Cheryl sits on the bottom and Meryl on top.] "Ta-ta!" [The two ride off.] [Flip and Nacho ride the tandem bicycle out of the garage, circle around Lana, and pedal back inside.] Lana: "Flip, stop!" [The bicycle screeches to a stop, knocking over Lana's toolbox.] Flip: "Well, the dang pedals on this thing are broken, too." Lana: "What? No, they're--" [Flip breaks the pedals himself.] Flip: "Told ya. Charge 'em for those, too." [He and Nacho chuckle stingily, much to Lana and Hops' confusion.] Lana: "Um, Flip, aren't we just, uh, ripping them off?" Flip: "Heck, no! I'm doing them a favor!" [He grabs one of the broken pedals.] "Those pedals were gonna fall off sometime in the next, uh, ten to fifteen years." Lana: "But Flip--" Flip: "Look, we got a good business going here. "[Nacho holds Lana's can of money.] "You want that new bike or not?" [Lana imagines herself and Hops wearing top hats as they exit Giovanni Changs Italian Chinese Bistro. The valet puts their racing helmets on their heads as Lana tips him with a handful of worms.] Lana: "Thank you, my good man!" [Another valet pulls up with Lana's dream bike as she and Hops climb in. The crowd watches in awe as Lana pops a wheelie and rides off. The vision ends as Lana imagines riding the bike while Flip fans her with money. He puts the money back in the can and hands it to her.]
[Later, Lana is dozing outside with Flip, Hops, and Nacho when they are awoken by a car horn. Flip is startled and gets caught in his lounge chair. A minivan pulls up carrying seven people.] Lana:[Walks up to the van] "How's it going, Mr. Fox?" [Mr. Fox fights his way out of the car while the quintuplets are brawling. He is shown with dark bags around his eyes and five o'clock shadow. He manages to close the door, but one of the kids is tossed out of the car. He snarls and leaps back inside, and his father takes gum out of his hair.] Mr. Fox: "Oh, you know." [He tosses the gum away.] "The missus and I are taking the quintuplets to Dairyland today and wanted to get the tires rotated before our trip." [Linda Fox walks up beside her husband, also having dark eyebags.] Lana: "We can handle that for you." [Pulls out a socket wrench] Mr. Fox: "Great." [Yells hoarsely] "Everyone out!" [The quintuplets come out amidst a dust cloud brawl, so Linda Fox blows a whistle. The kids stop fighting, and they all walk off.] "We'll be back in a bit."
[Inside the garage, Flip is working under the hood on the minivan's engine. He throws out several nuts and bolts.] Lana: "Flip, what are you doing? Mr. Fox asked for a simple tire rotation." Flip: "Hey, I got a feeling that after their little trip to Dairyland, Foxy's gonna need some new spark plugs." Lana: "Why's that?" [Nacho pops out of the engine and removes the spark plugs, handing them to Flip and cackling.] Flip: "'Cause he ain't got any." [Tosses them out] "Now we just gotta put in some temporary replacements." [He shows Lana a bag of marshmallows, which he dumps into Nacho's mouth.] Lana: "Wait, you can't do that!" [takes out some beef jerky] "Use this beef jerky instead. It'll fit better and look more like spark plugs." [Flip takes the beef jerky and places it in the hole where the spark plugs were.] Flip: "Hey, good call, partner." [They all grin.]
[Lana is heading back to the bike shop counting money.] Lana: "298, 299, 300! We officially have enough for the bike, Hops!" [She stares in the window with heart irises.] "It will be mine. Oh-ho-ho, yes, it will be mine!" [She cackles deviously, but then she notices the Foxes' minivan spluttering across the street. Parts from the engine fall out and it shudders to a stop. Lana and Hops look ashamed.] Mr. Fox:[He opens the hood and finds a lot of smoke.] "Something's seriously wrong with the van. It-it smells like..." [Smells the engine] "burnt beef?" [Sighs in despair] "Sorry, gang. Don't think we're making it to Dairyland today." [The quintuplets start crying while Linda Fox holds a teddy bear. Lana and Hops notice the whole thing from behind a tree.] Lana: "Oh man, that's all my fault." Scoots:[offscreen] "The Scoots is loose!" [Scoots' scooter rolls by uncontrollably and crashes offscreen. Flip's belt comes off as well.] Lana: "And that, too." [She and Hops run over to the Foxes, while the screen cuts to Scoots and her scooter being stuck in a tree right beside them.] "Hey there, Foxes! Let me take a look at that van for ya!" [Lana looks into the engine and pulls out the beef jerky, which immediately burns away.] "Yeah, you got a spark plug issue." Mr. Fox: "Oh, great. I guess I'm paying for more repairs now. Sorry, kids. Pizza dinner is off this Friday." [The quintuplets cry even harder to their parents' horror.] [Lana takes out her money in shame. She looks at the new bike, then she looks at the Fox family. She glances at Hops, and he nods and smiles.] Lana: "I'll buy you new spark plugs." [The quintuplets stop crying.] Mr. Fox: "Really? Why?" Lana:[She sighs and puts the money back in her pocket.] "Long story short, I took some bad advice. But I want you to go to Dairyland today and have pizza on Friday. Just bring the van by 1216 Franklin Avenue." [The Foxes and Lana push the van along the road together.] Lana:[Calls up to Scoots in the tree] "I'll buy you a new fan belt too, Scoots!" Scoots:[Points out from the tree] "Make it snappy!"
[Later, Lana is back at her house's garage. She now also attaches a banner under the sign that says "Honest service at an honest price". Once attached, she slides down the ladder. Hops writes a garage schedule for the week in a notepad, reading Luna for Monday, Lisa for Tuesday, Lincoln for Wednesday, Lucy for Thursday, and Luan for Friday. Lana has the garage on the weekends.] Lana: "Okay, the Foxes are off to Dairyland with new spark plugs. Scoots is coming by to get her new fan belt put in, and you left voicemails for Mr. Spokes, Cheryl, and Meryl, right Hops?" [Hops croaks in confirmation.] Lana: "Perfect! Once we fix everything, we'll work on getting that new bike the right way." [She pats Hops' head.] "No more dishonesty." Flip:[offscreen] "Hey!" [He and Nacho walk up to Lana, sounding annoyed.] "I thought we were partners! I showed you how to fleece that clown-haired guy, cheat that scooter gal, and lie to those twinsies! And this is how you repay me?" [Rodney, Scoots, Cheryl, and Meryl clear their throats offscreen. The screen pans out to find them all standing right behind Flip and looking very angry, having heard his confession. Flip chuckles nervously.] Scoots: "GET HIM!" [Flip's pants fall down again as he and Nacho run away. His victims chase him while the screen zooms in on Lana watching smugly. The episode ends.]
